The neighborhood was bustling this time of day with parents returning from work, kids wrapping up sports practices and dogs barking from indistinguishable directions due to the excitement of their 'humans' arriving home. At the end of the cul-de-sac, was a home with three cars that were often parked in the driveway, a familiar sight in the quiet neighborhood and today was no exception. Just inside the door sat three couples around the family dining room table attempting to bridge a gap that felt like the Grand Canyon.
"Well, we have to do something," said Jim as he sat closest to the kitchen, rubbing his hands together anxiously. Marilyn, his wife was sitting beside him with a look of resigned agreement on her face as she rubbed her husband's shoulder in a motherly fashion. The other two couples looked down at their half empty coffee mugs as they began to cool, reluctantly nodding their heads in agreement, feeling slightly defeated. After all they had been through over the years, making eye contact was strangely challenging. They had certainly entered unfamiliar territory.
From the head of the table Marcus said with a certain level of exasperation, "We all know you're right James, but it's difficult to admit. We've done it all ourselves all these years and NOW we struggle...with this?"
Steve's wife, Joni, sitting across the table admitted what everyone was reluctant to say aloud. "Let's be honest, none of us want to do it, so we need somebody to help us with this one."
Marcus' wife, Bethany, spoke up, "You're right Joni. We all know you're right. I don't particularly want to have this conversation with my kids and definitely not with all of yours either." A manufactured smile spread across her face.
All three couples have been the dearest of friends for nearly 15 years. Between them they have six children, two coming from each family. One family with two daughters, one with two sons and one with twins, a daughter and son. The couples have been in a homeschooling cooperative since their children started kindergarten in their small town. Now all six are in their last semester of high school and getting ready to graduate. The parents have participated in all the educational responsibilities through the years, with each applying their own unique expertise - math, science, English, history - all of it. The kids have received an excellent education and are academically well prepared for the next level of schooling. Socially they are great kids and well-adjusted too. Working together in a co-op was a tremendous benefit in every possible way to raising six great kids. They are all very well prepared for life beyond high school. However, there's one subject that has needed attention and all the parents know it, but none have felt adequately equipped to address - sex education.
Within the last 12 months, all six of their kids have turned 18 years old and are preparing to go to different colleges around the southeast. The parents are smart enough to know their kids will be exposed to many different sexual experiences over the next couple of years and they are confident they're ill equipped for that. All the mothers put their daughters on 'the pill' recently, knowing the potential for bad decisions in college that could create lifelong complications.
In the awkward silence that was consuming the room like a black hole, Marilyn reached down and squeezed James' hand, encouraging him to share their 'solution' with the group, hoping the other couples would agree with their idea.
"Marilyn and I have a suggestion. We spoke to a few other homeschooling co-ops in our state and have learned about a husband-and-wife team who teach sex education in a homeschooling co-op environment, provided all the students who attend are age 18 or above. They come to us highly recommended by both parents and kids. We have spoken to all those parents and every one of them said their kids enjoyed it and learned a lot and felt prepared for their next stage in life. The parents all seemed genuinely pleased with the outcome as well. We are suggesting that we invite them in to interview them to see if they're a good fit for our co-op. What do you think?" Asked James, as he and Marilyn held their collective breath.
After a moment or two of silence and shifting uncomfortably in their seats, everyone finally conceded to interview them before hiring them, allowing James and his wife to exhale.
It was settled, Marilyn would call and schedule a meeting for next Wednesday night with the couple. For the moment the land mine of teaching sex ed to their six kids was side-stepped. Everyone hoped they had found a way out of talking about the hot-button topic with their kids.
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Wednesday night arrived as Mike and Jill pressed the doorbell on the big front porch on a beautiful spring evening. The crickets were already making themselves known as dusk began to settle in. The loud door chime announced their arrival to those inside. They've had numerous meetings just like this, so they knew exactly what to expect from the impending interview. James opened the door and graciously invited the couple in.
Mike and Jill were each 30 years old. An attractive young couple who had been married for 3 years. Mike was a former college baseball player with a strong physique and square jaw. His hair was dark, and a bit longer accompanied by a contagious, disarming smile. Jill was equally fit with long, wavy dirty blonde hair and a warm personality that put everyone at ease immediately. She had a way of making everyone feel like they were immediate best friends when she spoke with them. They have been providing this unique service to homeschooling co-ops throughout the state for the last two years. Their resume was impressive. Both had previously been teachers in the school system before leaving to start their niche business. Throughout the last two years they have worked with eight different homeschooling co-ops. All resulting in raving reviews from the students and the parents.
Sitting around the living room enjoying coffee and homemade snacks, they explained to the three couples that it was a four-week curriculum, with sessions to be held once a week lasting two to three hours each. The sessions would be hosted at one family's home with enough room for students to spread out to work. They distributed copies of their teaching objectives and general themes they would address.
"We will touch on several subjects, including, but not limited to hygiene, reproduction, and anatomy," Jill explained matter of factly, reassuring the parents they knew exactly what they were doing.
"Your students will have a comprehensive understanding of human sexuality by the time we conclude," said Mike with a smile.
The group of apprehensive parents slowly began to relax as they listened and peppered the teachers with questions, which Mike and Jill had heard many times before and answered to the parent's satisfaction. Once the questions slowed, Mike reached into his leather folder and produced a contract. Jill said, "We require all parents to sign our contract in order for us to move forward. One observation from the contract that I need to highlight, here in section three, is that all the things we discuss and share in our sessions are confidential between us and your students. This ensures your students can speak freely without wondering if their parents are hearing what they've asked and discussed. Nothing will be shared with you, as parents, about what we cover in our sessions with them. This is critical and a non-negotiable for us to move forward. Is that acceptable?" Asked Jill.
All three couples looked at each other and understood the importance of confidentiality. They realized their kids would find no value in these sessions if they believed Mike and Jill were reporting back to them everything their kids had said. They feared their kids would hold back from interacting on important issues if there wasn't confidentiality.
