After that little Halloween incident with my gynecologist, Dr. Markus DeShade and his band of kinky cohorts, he has been exceptionally nice to me. So has his wife Evelyn, although I think her interest is more on the Sapphic side. Tall, good-looking women tend to become attracted to me, as was the case with my German friend, Eva Reichman (see Cat's Discovery).
Anyway, I was getting my monthly physical (my doctor is VERY dedicated), my feet in the stirrups, and Dr. DeShade was happily humming some familiar tune I couldn't quite identify, his face mere inches from my pussy. He was poking and prodding away with his fingers, digging deep into my female plumbing, presumably looking for buried treasure. Good thing I douched before coming to my appointment; my watuzi still smelled like a pina colada.
"Very nice Ms Wolff, you're as clean as a whistle. Funny, I have this overwhelming desire for conch fritters and jerk chicken, not sure why though. And I'd swear I hear steel drums playing somewhere. Hmm, anyway Ms Wolff, I thought I told you to keep your crotch shaved bare, not even stubble! And your anus too. Are you using the depilatory I prescribed for you?"
"Yes Doctor, I just didn't get to it this week, sorry."
"No excuses now. All women should stay clean and smooth at all times, prevents all kinds of bugs from growing inside of you. You don't want a vaginal infection, or a urinary tract disease do you? Of course not! So let's get you cleaned up here, then I'll expect you to maintain this pretty little pussy of yours on your own."
Before I could protest, Dr. DeShade opened a drawer and pulled out a safety razor and a can of shaving cream. Whistling that unknown, but familiar tune again, he lathered up my entire pubic area and then down under and all around my butt hole. Just as he was about to start shaving, the intercom buzzed.
"Oh my, I've been waiting for this call, its long distance. I'll be right back, don't go anywhere."
The doctor dashed out of the office, forgetting to close the door. Just great, I thought to myself, I'm laying here naked (the doctor doesn't allow me to have any clothes on during the examination) with my feet up in the air, my legs spread as wide as they will go, shaving cream lathered all over my privates. I'm a fairly patient woman, but this was becoming a bit too much! After all, I have things to do too! I was going to give the doctor a piece of my mind when he got back.
Just then, two young doctors, both looking like they just graduated from high school, walked past the exam room door. They both stopped short, staring in at the spectacle before them: namely me, spread out for them in all my glory, covered in shaving cream. They looked at each other, then up and down the hallway, and not seeing anybody else around, came in to my room and closed the door.
"Sorry to bother you ma'am, but we're both interns, and we were told to check in on each patient to observe and learn. What seems to be the problem here today?"
"I'm just getting my monthly check-up, and the doctor was about to shave my lower regions when he got called away. This is rather embarrassing actually."
"Nothing to be embarrassed about ma'am, we're professionals! So when did you first start having problems with your, uh, lower regions?"
"I'm not having a problem with my lower regions you idiot! I'm just here for a routine check-up. The doctor wants me to stay shaved down there so I don't get any diseases. Sheesh!"
The interns turned and looked at each other in disbelief. It was painfully obvious they were new and had little or no experience with good female hygiene for disease prevention.
"Uh, sorry ma'am, we've never heard of using that method before. You say you come in for regular MONTHLY exams?"
"Yes, yes, Dr. DeShade is very thorough. He knows what he's doing. Now you two better leave before he gets back."
"Say Ben, we could perform this procedure, and save Dr. DeShade the time and trouble. After all, we're interns, and we're supposed to get as much hands-on experience as possible."
"I think you're right Jerry, it seems easy enough. Let's do it! I'll bet we'll get kudos for this!"
"Excuse me, hello? Don't I have any say so in this? Dr. DeShade is very particular about his work, I'm not so sure this is a good idea."
"Don't worry ma'am, we're professionals! We'll have you as smooth as a baby's butt in no time. Dr. DeShade will be very proud of how brave you are. Hand me that razor Ben, and grab one for yourself. Do you think we should put masks on?"
"I don't think that's necessary Jerry. I brushed my teeth right after breakfast, how about you?"
"Me too. Besides, it smells like a tropical island in here, like coconuts or something. How could germs survive around here? Okay, I'm going in, wish me luck."
"Good luck Jerry, I'm right here with you, just you and me, side-by-side, bosom buddies, ying and yang, hand-in-hand, the alpha and the omega, the two musketeers, Abbott and Costello, . . . "
"OKAY ALREADY! I GET IT!!"
"Well excuuuuuse meeeeee!!!"
"And don't do your Steve Martin impersonation either, we don't want to make the patient laugh, she might get all shook up and one of us might shave off the wrong thing."
"You mean . . . . "
"Yes, I'm talking about her love button, her pearl of Venus, her nubbin of nookie, her . . ."
"HEY!!! Okay you guys, what's all this talk about cutting off my clit? Are you two really doctors? Are you sure you know what you're doing? Do we really need to have a comedy routine going on here?"
"Comedy is the best stress reliever, other than sex; we were just trying to help you to relax before the procedure."
"Can we get on with it then? I really have to be somewhere this afternoon."