ENTRY 3
I can't explain it. Every part of my brain says it is wrong. That I would risk the very future I have laid out for myself. But my body keeps betraying me. My mind has started to betray me. At this point I am not sure whether I should continue to fight against it, to keep trying to do what I know is right. Or should I just accept it for what it is and enjoy myself.
That seems like a stupid question. I am here to confess another incident. It is much much worse this time. So bad in fact that if I were Catholic I would spend my day in the confession box for sure.
Listen my digital diary. You are the only one who knows this. You are the only one I can confess my infidelity and my betrayal of thoughts. Let me tell you what happened.
A month ago Daniel and I went to his parents for their wedding anniversary party. Chet and I were together again, more than once. I feel terrible about it. You see at first I thought it was just his seduction. It was HIM and his suave self, taking advantage of my sexual vulnerability. But I found myself wanting him, I found myself craving him. In fact, the morning before we left, I consciously agreed to go to his house knowing that I was going to get fucked. I knew that I was going to put my mouth on his glorious cock and then fuck him. I knew that he was going to deposit his tasty seed in my mouth and probably deep inside my pussy. I wanted it.
I feel terrible about that. The remainder of the day I felt guilty and convinced myself that I was done with that chapter of my life and that I could begin anew with Daniel, my future husband.
But I could not stop thinking about Chet. For the month following, I thought about him every day. As a person I can't stand the guy. He is an arrogant asshole who only cares about himself. But he is a really good lover. He is gorgeous, is a great kisser, and has a marvelous dick. I orgasm easily and over and over when we fuck. In a perfect world he would make a great sex toy. But he is Daniel's best friend. And of course, it is cheating.
It does not help that Chet has been sending me texts. He talks about how sexy I am. He talks about how good of a cocksucker I've become. He talks about how tight my pussy is and how I milk his cum out of him. This sex talk makes me horny and makes it harder for me to be faithful. Then one day he sent me a tasteful... ha ha ... tasteful ... that's funny. Anyway, he sent me quality picture of his erect manhood. That was the final straw. I was so angry. I also masturbated to it that night. I hate myself.
So a perfect storm happened. Chet is sending me things that make me think about him and make me horny. Daniel gets super busy with school. He has some research paper due and has been basically living at the library on campus. I could not take it anymore. I was masturbating constantly. I was sexually unsatisfied. Finally I broke down and called Chet. We ended up having phone sex. I shoved a dildo up my pussy nice and deep. It was still not as big as Chet, but it served its purpose. I came really hard and felt bad about it. Even over the phone Chet was having an affect on me.
Later that night I had sexy dreams about Chet fucking me. I needed a change of scenery. Since Daniel was so busy and not paying attention to me, I decided to drive home and see my family. In the back of my mind, I hoped I would see Chet too.
I did the couple hour drive early in the morning. I hung out at my parent's house for a few hours. Then my mom needed to do some errands that I was not interested in going with her. So there I was, one late morning, sitting on the couch all by myself, trying to decide what to do. Chet popped into my head immediately. I tried to push him out of my mind. But I couldn't. I was horny instantly. My pussy got wet thinking about him. I considered going to my bedroom and masturbating. But I am so tired of masturbating.
I broke down. I drove to Chet's. I did not call. I did not text. I just drove. I went to the front door hoping he would answer the door and not his dad. He did. He answered the door wearing nothing but a pair of loose boxers. My mouth watered and my pussy tingled. If I could have jumped him right there I would have.
He smiled at me and welcomed me in. He let me know his family was out for the weekend. As I walked in to the living room, I noticed that he had a friend crashed out on the couch also wearing nothing but his boxers.
I decided to appeal to Chet's compassion and tell him about my dilemma. As we talked through my need to be faithful being compromised by my desires to cheat on Daniel with him, I kept glancing at Chet's package in his boxers. Then I would try to pry my eyes away and ended up looking at his friend's package in his boxers. What the hell is wrong with me digital diary? I get in a room with a couple men and I cannot keep my eyes off of their dicks.
I felt stupid. I felt vulnerable. I stood up with the intention of leaving and trying to work through this myself. Chet got up and grabbed my arm. He spun me around and kissed me. I let him in immediately. He grabbed my ass and pulled me in close. I could feel his rising erection in my midsection.
We made out standing for a minute. I involuntarily reached down and gripped his manhood. It was so long awaited. I had dreamed about it for weeks. I was hooked. As soon as I felt his hugeness, I gushed wetness. All the pent up horniness I had came to the top.
I broke the kiss and asked him if he would take me to his bedroom. He asked why and then I looked at his friend on the couch. He told me not to worry about him, that he is asleep. I told him point blank that I wanted him to take me to his room and fuck me. I was so horny I was ready to explode.
He finally agreed. We barely make it inside his bedroom door before we took each other's clothes off. I quickly dropped to my knees and put his hard cock in my mouth. I moaned like a whore in heat as I sucked his cock.
As I worshiped his cock, he moaned several times and put his hands on the back of my head for leverage. He started fucking my mouth and I was enjoying it. I could feel the smooth skin of his shaft on my lips and his bell shaped head hitting the back of my throat with each thrust.
He pulled away before he came. I was disappointed, as I wanted to feel his warm cum flood my mouth and run down my throat.
He told me that he wanted to blindfold me to make the experience more erotic. I hesitated but I finally agreed. I just wanted to get fucked.