I had practically been begging my best girlfriend, Blondie, to get with the biker babe scene. I told her over and over about what happened at Harley Heaven and the dude with the incredible tongue, Scorpion. She liked the spanking part. I could tell because she lifted up her skirt and slipped her hand down the front of her panties.
Yes, and when I told my girlfriend about the nickname Scorpion gave me, she called me Bunny from that moment on. She never liked me calling her Blondie all that much or telling stories about her foibles and blond escapades.
Finally Blondie agreed to go with me to Harley Heaven the next Friday night for happy hour and the Spring Hog Party that Scorpion had e-mailed me about. What she would not agree to do, however, was to get on up behind me on the '51 Panhead or ride my other scoot, the cobalt blue pearl year old XLH Sportster 883 Hugger. Perfect girl's bike for those who aren't used to big old hogs. Blondie said she would go but insisted she would follow me in her car.
"Yeah, OK Blondie. We'll park your car down the road and make believe you road with me because you trashed your scoot when you were riding stoned. Now that we have decided we are going to the Spring Hog Party at Harley Heaven, we need to get you properly dressed for the occasion. You know Spike, the mechanic I told you about? Well, not only does he have a bike shop, he sells biker duds in a leather shop next door. Actually, his son runs the clothing business but I'll get Spike to open the doors for us after hours."
"Bunny," Blondie replied hesitantly, "I don't like have hundreds of dollars I feel like wasting on some outfit I may only wear once. You know I'm saving my money to gamble away in Las Vegas next month."
"Don't bullshit me, Blondie. You're going to Vegas with your boss. He'll be paying for everything, and I do mean everything. Besides, Spike probably won't make us pay for any of the stuff. That is, if you let him watch you try everything on. He likes to watch. He's too damn old to do anything else."
"Well, I dunno, Bunny. I did want to do some topless dancing but you talked me out of it."
"Damn right I did. That was different. That place was two miles from your parent's house. Duh! Nobody will know us at Harley Heaven. We can get real wild and crazy."
"OK, Bunny, I'm game. I trust your judgement."
Spike, of course, was more than happy when I told him I wanted to bring my girlfriend over to get some biker duds. He was even happier when I described her. Spike preferred blondes and if they were beautiful, leggy and packing 38 D's, he preferred them even more.
"Hey, Spike, what's up?" I greeted him a hug as we entered Spike and Son's Lewd Leather Emporium just about midnight. "The Panhead is purring! Talking about purring, this is my best buddy Blondie."
"Hello Ms. Blondie." Spike could barely talk he was so impressed. In a way I am reluctant to take the girlfriend anywhere because the dudes hit on her before they do me. Oh well, she is fun as hell. Spike continued his stuttering at my pal, getting as close as he could without standing on her feet. "My pleasure I am sure, my dear. You are very pretty. What beauty pageant did you escape from?"
"Hey, thanks, Spike. You are making me blush!" Blondie kissed him on the cheek as he fingered and smelled her blond locks. "By the way, her name," and she pointed at me, "is now Bunny. Don't call her you know what any more."
"So what exactly do you need, my dear?" Spike asked in a tone that said whatever it was, she was going to have it.
"Everything Spike," I interrupted, "the whole works and quit flirting! We got to turn this classy lady into a down and dirty biker babe, and quickly."
"I can do that," Spike responded nodding his head like a woodpecker. "What should we start with?"
Blondie unsnapped the front of the Australian oilskin waterproof washed back canvas duster I had lent her. I mean, I didn't want her looking like a total geek going to pay Spike a visit. This duster looked like a snowmobile suit except much more comfortable. The girlfriend had been wearing a tweed skirt, matching blazer and cream silk blouse. Great outfit for corporate America but zilch in the biker and leather underground. What I had to do for the girlfriend to get her to change into something more appropriate for the visit to Spike. And I buy her a vibrator every year for X-Mas.
There wasn't much under the duster that covered almost everything until it came off except for, well, undergarments. Blondie was wearing only a stretch mesh string bikini and matching demi bra. She was bulging out a little on the bottom and a lot on the top.
"Uh, uh, uh," muttered Spike quite dumbstruck, "what color is that skimpy outfit?"
"Wildcat Blue, Mr. Spike. Matches my eyes doesn't it? Bunny is wearing the same getup almost. We bought them when we went shopping at the mall, Victoria's Secret, a couple weeks ago. I might point out, however, that the color of hers is Honolulu Melon and the size of her top is 36 C as opposed to mine which is 38 D. Not important, just trivia, but here I'll show you." She slid the adjustable straps off her shoulders and unfastened the back close.
"Uh, uh, uh." That was all Spike could muster. He was beginning to sound like a broken record.
"Oh, fuck you, bitch!" I screamed in jest. You are always bragging about your tits. Hey Spike, find her something quick to cover up those slut puppies with, will ya?"
"Uh, uh, OK. Here's a little something you might like." He pulled a black leather vest off the rack. It had a full collar, lapels and front zipper closure so one could show as much cleavage as one wanted. Blondie tried it on.
"Awesome!" Spike cried. "Here are some matching leather shorts."
Blondie slipped off her Wildcat Blue mesh string bikini and flung it at Spike. He sniffed it and began making panting noises. He couldn't help staring at Blondie's neatly trimmed triangle that matched the hair on her head.
"Duh, duh, da, daaang girl, you got some long legs," was all Spike could sputter as his eyes continued to focus on that particular center of attention.
"Spike," I had to add as a precautionary measure, "you are foaming at the mouth. Now settle down a little bit here, boy. We don't want to be doing CPR on you, ya know."
"Why not?" Blondie asked demurely. "I think he's kinda cute. I find older men incredibly attractive, full of wit and wisdom."
"Shut the hell up, Blondie. Spike here is older than dirt. One step away from a nursing home. He couldn't get it up with enough Viagra to kill everybody in Las Vegas."
"Yeah, Bunny, I still say he's a cutie!" With that she pinched his cheeks and tickled his beard. She slipped on the leather shorts and did the zipper in back. "Hey sexy, how much for the vest and shorts?"
Spike's eyes were rolling in the sockets and his tongue was hanging out like a very hot and thirsty dog. "For you, doll, nothing, as long as I can keep the panties and bra you wearing."
"Hey, no problem Spikeroo, sounds like the real deal to me although I don't think they will fit you very well. Oh, by the way, you might want to wash them before you put them on. I been wearing them for two days. My washing machine is on the blitz."
Spike took another exaggerated whiff of the panties he stuck right under his nose. "I don't think that will be necessary. They smell just fine to me."
"OK, Bunny, what else do I need?"
"Some chaps, girlfriend. They are like, well, open in both the front and in the back. Show her, Spike." He fetched the black leather fancy fringed chaps. They had a front buckle and zippered sides which were obscured by the fringe. Braids hung from the waist of the open rear.
Blondie slipped out of the leather shorts. "I want to see what these look like without anything underneath.
"Talk about showing some ass and some beaver," I snickered. "No need to get naked and cold. All you got to do is bend over."
"I think she looks lovely in the chaps," Spike offered as he glared at me.
At this point Spike was about to give it all away for free, and no doubt he was hoping we would do likewise, if only he were twenty years younger.
"Here Blondie," he insisted, "you need these." He slipped the Bugz Tazar goggles with the silver lenses over her ears and adjusted the EZ Rider helmet on her head. The boots, however, took an infernally long time to dispense with to dispense with as I knew they would. She picked out a pair of 12" Euros with the double buckles and it took Spike considerable effort to get them on her feet, due mainly to the fact she wiggled and yelped like crazy while he was sucking her toes and licking the soles of her feet.
Blondie then picked out a nice pair of fingerless mesh gloves with leather palms. Before Spike put them on her, he began to slowly suck the middle finger of her right hand.
"Yum, yum, good. Where has that finger been, girl?" Spike inquired hopefully.
"Let me assure you, Spikeroo, some place warm and juicy. Here, I'll show you. All this leather is turning me on." Blondie lowered her hand into the large opening in the front of the chaps and stuck that long finger Spike had been licking right up inside her. When she pulled it out a few moments later it was definitely glistening. "Here, Spike, a treat for you. Taste it." He did and made a face like I did the first time I tasted caviar.
"Who's that knocking at my door? Who's that knocking at my door? Spike, man," I blurted, "are you frigging deaf? There is somebody at your door. You better go see."
