The next night, Hannah and I talked at our usual time, 10:00 PM. We caught up on the day and then Hannah went a bit silent.
"What's up, you are pretty quiet tonight."
"Well to be honest with you, last night was a bit much for me."
"Really?" I asked. "You told me about the time you performed at your ex-boyfriend's bachelor party, that was much wilder than what happened last night."
"Sure, but this is different. The bachelor party happened years ago when I was young and stupid. I also felt comfortable that Chris and George would look out for me, and if anything bad happened, they would protect me. I was totally vulnerable last night with Harold, that guy from downstairs. And well, the biggest difference is that during the bachelor party, I was single and now, well, I love you and I'm sorry, I didn't want to betray you."
I cut her off and said, "Babe, stop. I love you. You didn't betray me one bit. I encouraged you last night. I talked you through everything. If anyone is at fault it's me. I'm sorry I put you in that situation. I honestly thought you would enjoy it. Honestly, I enjoyed it, but I get that you were at risk and I know you have to maintain a professional reputation. Please don't be mad at me."
"John, I'm not mad at you. I just know that you must feel betrayed."
"Wait, I think we are making too big a deal of this. You think that you betrayed me which you did not. I loved last night. I think that I pushed you too hard, but you aren't mad at me. Did you honestly enjoy last night?"
"Babe, I got super wet and orgasmed. I loved it, but I just couldn't forgive myself if I hurt you at all."
"Let's drop this, please. I think this was such a huge event and it went so far for both of us, that we are just having a tough time understanding that we BOTH had an amazing time. It was a fantasy come true for both of us. I love that you showed off your body to the guys on the street. I was so turned on knowing that you and Harold, a complete stranger, were masturbating in front of each other. I masturbated several times last night and today remembering the whole event. Let's stop feeling guilty about this."
Hannah paused for a few minutes, "Ok, I definitely enjoyed it and I did masturbate in the shower a few minutes ago as I was getting ready for bed, remembering Harold and last night. I don't know how to describe it. I love you so much, but I really enjoyed that Harold was so turned on by me. Maybe it's my low self esteem. I'm not really a slut, but I love feeling like a slut."
"Babe, I love you. I think everyone likes to be admired. Everyone likes feeling sexy and hot. I think you seeing Harold get hard in front of you was just direct confirmation that he was getting turned on by you."
"Maybe, but honestly, I'm not into looking at a guy's junk. I think the idea of him masturbating, watching his face while he enjoyed looking at my body and watching his face tense up when he was cumming, that is what was really sexy for me. It was super sexy looking into his eyes knowing that he was loving what he was seeing."
"Babe, I've cum like four times today, and I'm getting hard all over again." Hannah laughed at that. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, about this situation?"
"Yes. I guess I wonder where we go from here? Do you want to go out on a date with Harold? Maybe a fuck buddy date. Something where he knows that I'm the one you love, but Harold could be the convenient local guy that you fuck during the week?"
"Oh no. Harold is way too close to my school circle. I wouldn't dare take that relationship any farther."
"But if he ends up not mentioning this to anyone, then can't we trust him to be your fuck buddy when I'm away?"
"I don't know. I just know Harold is way too close to my real life and I don't like that idea. Do you really want me to take on a fuck buddy?"
"I love the idea of you having sex on a regular basis. I love you. Don't get me wrong, and it would really upset me if someone stole your heart. But I love the idea of you just enjoying the feeling of a live cock inside you. I love it when you masturbate over the phone with me with a dildo. Having a fuck buddy, I assume is just an evolution of the dildo. It's a live dildo that can please you even more."
"That's true, but I'd be super jealous if you had a fuck buddy in Wisconsin."
I cut Hannah off, "I'm not interested in a fuck buddy. I love the idea of watching you explore your slutty side. I love the idea of you with another guy. That is what gets me off."
"That's hard for me to believe."
"I know, I mean I can be turned on by a hot woman, but I love you and I would never betray you. This isn't you betraying me, this is you living out my fantasy. My fantasy woman is someone who is conservative and sweet in real life, and secretly slutty and a tease in private. That's why I ask you to tell me the bachelor party story so often. I love that."
"Well, I'm not going to perform at your bachelor party. Let's be absolutely clear. I mean, I will know all the guys there, and they will all know me as your bride. So that would be more than weird."
I laughed at that. "What about Joe from Ohio?"
"Um I don't think Joe would be willing to perform at your bachelor party either," Hannah laughed at that. "No seriously, what do you mean, 'What about Joe'?"
"Ha ha, No, I wouldn't be interested in Joe as a bachelor party performer. I mean, what do you think of him as a fuck buddy."
"We haven't done it yet, but I know that if I ever found myself single again, he'd be the first I'd consider. He's decent looking, he's not from around here. I kinda consider him a fuck buddy I haven't fucked yet. What are you thinking?"
"Well if he ever does come to town, you should hook up with him."
"Na, I couldn't do that. I think it would be too weird since he would probably be coming to town on weekends, and I'm usually with you on weekends. And honestly, I like the fantasy of a fuck buddy, I'm not sure I'm ready for that."
I let that thread of conversation drop there. It was definitely a fantasy to have Hannah fuck another guy. Maybe I could be on the phone listening while they fuck each other. Maybe Hannah would video tape themselves. If it was the weekend, I could watch her fucking the other guy in person. All these scenarios just ran through my head all week.
As the week progressed, I was determined to help Hannah find a fuck buddy. I stopped talking about it with her, since I was afraid that I might give her insecurities that I was interested in finding a fuck buddy in Wisconsin.