It was early one afternoon, and I was supposed to go with my friend Stephen to the mall. We were going to hang out and maybe catch a movie. Stephen and I went way back. We had played together when we were little kids, but he had moved before we started school. I had seen him once when I was 12. He was visiting his grandmother and we had hung out a time or two that summer. As happens, he went back home, and I didn't see him again until the summer I turned 22.
He moved back, and called me. We went out to dinner, and started a weekly ritual of hanging out. We were the best of friends, and didn't want to do anything to change it. I had a slight crush on him, but I knew it would ruin everything to mention it, so I kept quiet, I was always a little scared of being too forward, so I was never forward enough. Well, anyway, back to that fateful afternoon. When we got to the mall, we ran into Samantha, another old friend of Stephen's. She was babysitting, and had just turned the baby over to its mother. We sat in the food court and talked, or rather they talked. I just sat there and listened... and looked. I wouldn't have left my child with her... if I had had children, that is.
Sam was the complete opposite of me. She was blond and thin. I have brown hair, and a larger build. She was wearing this outfit that would look trashy on me, and looked right at home in it. She had a large tattoo of a dragon on her left shoulder, visible in her skimpy white halter that left her midriff, and belly ring visible. Her long hair hung to her exposed waist just above her low-rise faded and worn jeans, and her makeup was on the heavy side, especially her black eyeliner.
I sat there beside her in my black Capri pants and pink blouse looking very conservative, with my shoulder-length hair pulled back in my sunglasses feeling dumpy... I was out of sorts, and it was all her fault. I had been raised in an environment that looked down on such manner of dress and action, and I knew that if Sam had been me, she would have made a move on Stephen, and to hell with the consequences.
I could see her flirting with him, and he was leaning in, responding to her in a way he had never responded to me. I was jealous of her easy manner, and knew that she had never been held back by confines of society that had suffocated me, and would continue to suffocate me until the day I died. I was feeling like a goody-goody-two-shoes, and not liking it one little bit.
Sam told Stephen she needed a ride back to her parents' house. I had ridden with Stephen in his truck and knew that if she went with us we could drop her off first, thank goodness. I wanted him all to myself. On one hand, I wanted him to tell her that he was busy, and didn't have room. On the other, I was drawn to her behavior. I wanted him to offer her that ride, so that I could study her actions. He told her he didn't have a problem taking her home if I didn't, but that we were going to have dinner first. She pounced on the idea, and said she would love to go with us.
During dinner it came out that I was in between boyfriends, and Sam asked me how I lived without sex. She said it as if sex was the only reason to date someone, and that everyone who had a boyfriend was getting sex... and plenty of it. She said that she just had to have it all the time, and kept a string of boyfriends all the time so that she didn't have to go without. I smiled, and brushed it off saying it wasn't a big deal, and tried to change the subject. The last thing I wanted to discuss was how sad my sex life was. I had never been fully at home in my skin, or at least that was how I was feeling that day. I am normally an optimistic person, and wasn't used to the blah way I was reacting to Sam. We talked of other things, and pretty soon dinner was over.
When we got to the truck, Sam jumped in the middle by Stephen... right where I wanted to sit. I climbed in, and settled in for the 20 min ride to Sam's house. It was dark, and we had to go across a long dam road by the lake to reach her house. There was an accident ahead of us, so we were stuck on road, waiting for it to clear. Sam must have been thinking about our dinner conversation, because she turned to me, out of the blue, and asked me if I masturbated all the time since I didn't have boyfriend. I was shocked, and embarrassed. I stumbled around an answer.