Genesis '05

There were seven of us in total – Marie and Glen, an older couple, Tracey the librarian and Brian the accountant, but it was Mark and Rachel who had me instantly fascinated. Mark, with his farmer hands, dark complexion, piercing eyes and wicked sense of humour. And Rachel, who glowed with the earthy appeal of a country girl, and a laugh that played in her eyes long after the joke had subsided. They were so handsome, so desirable, so lovely. And so married. And then there was me, a fresh-faced doctor from the big smoke on my first locum in the country – a high-powered woman with all the letters but "Mrs." to go with my name.

The newcomer to the bible study group.

"Well, it's great to have you with us, Alana," said Rachel warmly. "You've gotten us at a good place – we're just about to start at the start. Genesis chapter one!"

We dutifully opened our bibles and began to read and share together. My eyes wandered around the group, observing the exchanges, the nuances, the positioning between the people. I'd always found human interactions so fascinating, but also somehow always felt like an outsider – ever restless and constantly moving with my job. Perhaps I'll work overseas next year, I thought to myself.

After drinking in the group, my gaze flicked to the walls. They were crowned with pictures of Mark and Rachel's two angelic-looking kids, the family, finger paintings. I dwelled on the wedding photos. Mark looked uncomfortable in his suit, and Rachel's makeup seemed somehow to mask her natural glow of inner beauty, but nothing could disguise the fact that they were so happy and in love with one another. I watched them now – Mark was sprawled easily on a chair, across the room from Rachel, who shared the couch with Tracey. Several years and a couple of kids on, the initial spark had dimmed, but been replaced with something perhaps even more appealing – home. A sad smile touched my lips as I realised what I'd overlooked in pursuit of my career.

"Lana?"

"Sorry?" I apologised, snapping out of my contemplation.

"What do

you

think of this passage?"

"Oh.." I murmured slowly, as I skimmed the page.

And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light...

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them. And God blessed them."

I looked around the room. All of their faces were illuminated by the fire, from both without and within. The hearth crackled and popped, dispelling the cold night from the house.

"I think... that in the beginning, God created the Earth to be perfect for us. And despite all the attempts we've made to screw it up since, it's moments like these that you realise His creation really is good, and how incredibly blessed we all are." My response was met with smiles and murmurs of agreement. I went home that night, full of joy.

And there was light...

************************************

For the rest of the week, I couldn't stop thinking about bible study and the love I'd felt in Mark and Rachel's home. Despite being fiercely independent, I couldn't deny that I so desperately wanted that for myself – that feeling of family and sense of belonging. I counted the days till we met the next Thursday.

"Hello, Lana!" beamed Rachel as she opened the door. "So good to see you again!"

She embraced me and I closed my eyes, drinking in the smell of her hair.

"Mm, and you too," I said contentedly.

"You're a bit early, would you like anything to drink?" she asked.

"A bit of red would be lovely," I said, and she walked me to the living room where I sat down on the couch. From where I was I could see her in the kitchen, reaching up to get the glasses. She was simply dressed, in tracksuit bottoms and slippers, with a loose T-shirt on top. Even so, I could see that she had an amazing body. She was fit, though not at all scrawny, with moderately sized yet full breasts and healthy round buttocks that completed her feminine figure. I felt self-conscious and over-styled in my restrictive work suit and shed my high heels and pantihose, curling up beside the fire. I continued to gaze in wonder. Her short dark hair was pulled back into a careless ponytail, with a frond that simply refused to stay behind her ear circling her cheekbone attractively. She pulled ineffectually at it and caught my eye, smiling and turning coyly away as it fell to caress her face again. It made your breath catch to look at her. She was a backyard miracle.

Presently Mark entered the kitchen, and playfully landed a kiss in the nape of her neck en route to the fridge. She laughed, that spine-tingling laugh, and cuffed him lightly on the arm. There was a moment of tender affection between them before Mark spied me on the couch.

"Lana! How are you this week?" he grinned from the doorway, beer in hand.

Rachel laughed and pushed past him, saying, "Girls only, Mark, go keep an eye on the kids!" He lifted his beer in mock salute, winked at me and vanished into the back of the house.

She walked in and handed me my drink, then nestled herself cross-legged into the other end of the couch with hers. "Wow, look at you," she said admiringly. "How do you always look so glamorous?"

I blushed and squirmed. "Really? You know, I feel so pretentious sitting next to you, a stunner even in tracky-daks."

She snorted and rolled her eyes in mock disgust. "Really," she said, looking earnestly into my eyes with those warm chocolate pools of hers, "you're beautiful." She smiled – I melted.

"So tell me about your week! How's this town of ours treating you?" Back to reality. We chatted easily and before long the other members of the group had arrived. We continued our way through Genesis.

I struggled to keep my eyes off Rachel through the study. She was just so stunning, her complete ignorance of her own beauty only adding to the appeal. The wine brought the colour to her cheeks and the soft firelight highlighted the elegance of her neck. It was my turn to read.

"But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man."

I looked up and Rachel was smiling at me. I could empathise with how Adam felt that first day he laid eyes on Eve. "You can start since you just read," she said. "What do you think of this passage?"

Never breaking her gaze, I said, "Just beautiful."

We talked some more, and prayed. As I was about to leave, Rachel caught my hand at the door and said, "Oh, Lana, it was lovely chatting with you today. Would you like to come round for afternoon tea before bible study next week?"

I could barely contain my enthusiasm as we bid each other farewell.

In bed that night, I struggled with my conflicting emotions. I kept playing the evening over and over in my head, Rachel telling me I was beautiful, she and Mark so happy in the kitchen together, Mark winking at me, the bible study, charged glances between Mark and I – had he caught me staring? But in the end, there was only one image I couldn't get out of my head – of Rachel, gilded by the fire, looking like the first woman ever made.

My hand wandered slowly, guiltily, from the little silver cross around my neck, down my body and beneath the waistband of my panties. I found myself wetter than I had been in a long time as I slipped two fingers into my velvety orifice and I sighed as I closed my eyes and concentrated on the image that had been burned into my mind and then she was naked and smiling for me – I stroked myself higher and higher thinking of those smooth curves undulating before me... and as I crossed the final line, imagining Mark atop her, his body dominating hers as he possessed her with his manhood, I came hard, gasping as I felt every successive shudder on my hand send shock waves through my entire body. The fog cleared, and I was suddenly afraid. What had I done?

This is at last bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, for she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.

****************************************

Work that week passed in a blur and I grew more and more apprehensive, fretting about what to wear, how to behave, how to shake the confusing feelings that I knew had to be so wrong... By Thursday, the only thing I'd figured out was the first, selecting for myself the tight pinstripe black pencil skirt and crisp mauve blouse that I knew made me feel sexy and confident.

Every consultation that morning seemed to drag on for hours, yet somehow before I knew it, it was the end of the day and I was driving to Mark and Rachel's.

Standing at the doorway while I waited for her to answer, I was suddenly aware of my heart beating harder in my chest. I looked down and my hands were trembling, my throat dry – I was like a little schoolgirl in love. I stared contemplatively back out at the road. This was surely madness!

"Come in, come in!" enthused a familiar, sweet voice. "How was your week?" Rachel was comfortably dressed in a pair of shorts and loose T-shirt. "Ooh, it's cold out there!" She grabbed me and pulled me into the welcoming warmth of the house, closing out the cold. It was good to be back.

"How are you?" I asked her.

"Well, can't complain, I suppose," she said, putting me at ease with a grin. "Bit of a rough week actually. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Mm, got any vino?"

"Sure do, right this way," she beckoned.

I followed her into the kitchen. Again she reached for the glasses, again forming a perfect expression of feminine beauty as her breasts curved upwards and her bottom outwards, her weight balanced precariously on the slender fingers she rested on the counter. I glanced away in shame. We slipped into idle chatter, about her kids, my patients, her mother-in-law, Mark.

Suddenly she fell quiet, and the smile dropped from her eyes. "It's hard for us out here, you know," she said. "It hasn't rained for months, and the farm isn't going so well, and really, it's all we have." I looked on in reverent silence, entreating her to continue. But unexpectedly, I saw tears forming in her eyes – she closed them, and they squeezed over to trace star-trails down her cheeks.

"Babe, what's the matter?" I asked softly.

"I don't know," she said, "I just don't know and I'm not sure you're the person I should be talking to about this." She looked up at me and bit her bottom lip in an attempt to keep it from quivering. Still she looked to me as strong and beautiful as ever.

"I'll understand if you don't want to talk to me," I said honestly. "But I'm here if you do."

There was a moment's silence. She smiled a sorry smile.

"It's just... Mark," she barely whispered. "It's not the same any more. He just gets so stressed, and it's been so long, I mean, he doesn't... well, can't... I mean, we haven't..." She trailed off and turned away, shaking her head.

I was shocked – they seemed so in love, so perfect. She reached to close the cupboard and I stepped towards her, and not knowing what possessed me, grabbed her hand. A jolt of electricity ran between us and her eyes, still moist, were round with uncertainty and sadness. Though I had never done anything like this before, I was overcome with the desire to hold her. Our eyes stayed locked as I drew her slowly to me, and I slid my hand up her delicate arm and put my arms tenderly around her tense shoulders. My pulse quickened as she wrapped hers around my waist and I could feel the softness and warmth of her body radiating through her clothes. I can't say how long we stayed there, caught in an embrace that felt so foreign yet so natural, barely daring to breathe.

After a long time I felt her body relaxing into mine. I pulled back and rested my forehead against hers and, as though on autopilot, began to trace my nose lightly over hers, nuzzling her beautiful face gently until her lips parted and I could feel her warm breath sighing on mine. And millimetre by millimetre, I moved my face towards hers, and in a moment of heavenly release, my trembling lips touched her cheek, and I tasted her precious tears. She was breathing heavily, and I moved to the other side, kissing her in the same way, and slowly acquiring boldness, I kissed a feather-light path down that cheek, moving ever closer to her wet, rosy mouth. There I teetered, breathless and unsure whether or not this was some crazy dream, and closing my eyes, shut out all other thoughts as I surrendered myself to the kiss my entire body was screaming for.

She let out an imperceptible moan as our mouths closed inevitably on one another, she tasted salty and moist and I was vaguely aware of my muscles aching from holding myself so rigidly with apprehension. We broke away, both panting, and looked at each other with a newfound understanding.

"Should we be doing this?" she whispered huskily.

I searched her eyes. "What do you feel inside?" I asked.

She pulled me again to her and with mounting confidence, our mouths met again and I dared let my tongue slip over hers. She moaned again, in a manner so soft and restrained it drove me wild. I was seeing stars as our lips roamed over each other's, like courting butterflies dancing around each other, touching and pulling away, and before long I had her pinned against the kitchen counter, my pelvis hard up against hers, our tongues writhing like our bodies against one another. I felt a warm hand slip up my waist and to my breast, and the sensation was unbearable.

"Ohh," I cried in pleasure and surprise, and drew back. I felt as though I was going to pass out as we regarded each other from arm's length.

"Um," I said, and she said "Hm."

"Sorry," we both said simultaneously, and I began to giggle. I saw the smile creep back into Rachel's eyes and she was laughing again. I was still caught in utter disbelief.

"I..." I began.

Suddenly we heard a key in the door. We sprang apart as Mark's strode into the kitchen, Melinda and some shopping in one arm and Joey holding his hand.

"Hello stranger," he said, with a smile that set my heart on fire. "You two telling secrets again?" Rachel smiled at him, but there was a cold edge to her expression that I had failed to notice before.

I mock-bowed apologetically, leaving them to each other in the kitchen and went to the living room, head still spinning from my explosive kiss with Rachel.

I heard very little of bible study that evening. Fragments of scripture penetrated the haze of confusion that permeated my mind.

But the serpent said to the woman, "You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate..."

One of the kids cried in a far room, and Mark excused himself from the study.

I looked over at Rachel with renewed eyes. My gaze trailed slowly up her bare legs, to the fullness of her hips, the soft waist I'd held in my arms, and finally up to her dazzling face, where she looked at me with such fire I felt a twinge in my innards. I shifted uncomfortably as a drop of moisture seeped out between my smooth legs. I was restless with arousal, and the more I tried not to think about how wet I was, the hotter I grew until I could stand it no longer.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I muttered, practically running out of the room.

I emerged from the bathroom, having barely composed myself. As I turned down the hall for the living room once more, I caught a glimpse of Mark, standing in the dark by Melinda's cot. I tiptoed in quietly.

"How's she doing?" I whispered.

"Think she's finally asleep," he replied, and as my eyes adjusted to the dim surroundings, I could see his face softened by a smile as he beheld his slumbering daughter. He moved towards me, and I could feel his warmth seeping closer.

"How are you?" he asked, all raised eyebrows. Suddenly, I felt his hand steal around to my shoulder – his grip was masculine, yet uncertain. He began to move it lightly, stroking my arm through the material so gently it brought my flesh up in goose bumps. My head exploded with unthinkable thoughts and my heart began to thud as I felt the desire rising in a flush up my neck. He was behind me now, both hands on my shoulders, massaging me tenderly but with increasing urgency. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he ran his hands slowly down my arms and onto my hips, and then he was under my blouse, his callused skin burning a path against the sensitive flesh of my stomach.

I bit my lip, attempting not to moan, unable to break from the forbidden pleasure of his rough hands exploring me so tormentingly, all other sensations slipping from mind as he caressed me from behind in the darkness. I nearly died when I felt his lips on my neck. My breath was coming in short, shallow gasps now, as his hands worked rhythmically higher towards my breasts and lower towards the flower of my desire that was opening for him and his lips brushed my skin – I dared not move a muscle lest the spell be broken and the magic cease.

His kisses became harder now, and I felt his scorching body closing on mine. He kissed my ear roughly, and I could hear him breathing heavily.

"Mm?" he asked softly, as though to say, "Do you want it?"

"Mm," I uttered, almost at the peak of desire as he pressed his body to mine and I felt the searing mound in his pants grind into my buttocks. I turned my face to him and we kissed wildly as he slid his hand over the front of my skirt, simultaneously stimulating my clit and driving my ass harder back into his groin. It was all too much and I knew I'd barely be able to keep quiet and with unbelievable resolve, I broke away from him. I heard him swallow, and I squeezed his hand.

"We should get back to the study," I said, and drew him into the light of the hallway.

"You go first," he murmured, and in his eyes I saw fear and love mingling.

I was a mess, and I was sure Rachel noticed it. I heard nothing of what was being said – all I could think about was whether or not this was wrong, and who I had the stronger feelings for.

And then I realised. I didn't want Rachel. I didn't want Mark.

I wanted them both.

Tracey was reading.

Then the Lord God said to the woman, "What is this that you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate..."

The rest of the bible study passed in a fog, and I lingered till the others had left. I just had to talk to them about this. Rachel returned from seeing people off and Mark from cleaning up in the kitchen. The body language between them made me fear that a rift had been driven between them. Rachel came in and sat on the couch, and Mark remained standing in the doorway. Rachel looked from Mark to me, and I from her to Mark, and Mark beheld Rachel with a face full of anguish and remorse. He loved her. But I loved them.

Rachel was the first to speak the words on everyone's mind.

"What's going on?" she asked, though there was no anger in her voice. Mark's face was wrought with pain, and he was on the verge of saying something when I interjected.

"Look, I'm not sure, Rachel," I began, "but lately I've been starting to feel quite strongly... for the both of you." Confusion flickered across both faces.

I continued. "You're such a gorgeous couple, and I love you both deeply, and I'm not sure if I should be feeling this way but I do, and I don't know how to act... I've never been in this situation before."