I had never seen Susan's Mom at a loss. Her name is Sandra (you get the "S" pattern), she has short, very full "sandy" hair, is as tall as Susan but even heftier, and I see in her what Susan's breasts might be like in 20 years. Not complaining!
Forgive me for starting with her boobs, but bodies are on my mind. Sandra lost her husband, and the girls' their dad, almost 10 years ago, to an early heart attack, and Sandra definitely has headed the family. To my knowledge, she never dated, but I couldn't figure out why. She was frankly hot, and exercised like a Marine, with great shoulders, arms, long legs, and plenty of pectoral muscle to hold up her front load. But why work-out that hard if you didn't want a man?
I know, health; but that doesn't mean sweating like a $1,500-an-hour fashion model. Even her face shows it: strong. Tight, lots of sculpting, firm lips, clear green eyes. An assertive chin with a cute cleft. When necessary, she commanded like a CEO, and sometimes dressed like one. Not now, though: just a T-shirt (we were still in the long summer days, lots of light late in the evening), a black bra beneath, and butter-yellow shorts, mid-thigh. Bare legs. Sandals with low heels.
Funny, seeing Susan's mother stand there, for just a second, made me very conscious of the size of my manhood. Probably because she was staring at it—where else? And her lips were parted—not, I think, in lust. She actually had crossed her arms over her chest, not in modesty—more like a heart attack. (Just kidding. I hope.)
And then, she turned right around and banged out through the screen door back to the porch.
Stephanie had risen, interrupting the job—again!—and wiped her hand across her slick lips. She made no move to dress. Quite a family, this one.
Sandra's voice came from the porch, accusing. "Look, what you girls do is your own business, Stephanie. BUT, Susan SAID I could come over, right about this time, to have a glass of wine and wish Tommy happy birthday. That's the ONLY reason I'm HERE."
"So come in and we'll open the wine," said nude Stephanie with sweet reasonableness. "I'd love a glass of chardonnay, too."
"Stop joking, girl!" growled the CEO. Or maybe the Marine. "I'm not going to be the one to screw up this family!"
"Susan invited me, too," replied Stephanie, hands at her sides, calm. "And when I got here, Tommy was strung up. Susan said they'd be away for the weekend."
"No! She told ME they would be here. That's the ONLY reason I came."
"Not what she told me," Stephanie answered firmly. "Want to come in and wish Tommy happy birthday or not? I think that's what Susan intended—don't you think?"
No reply. Beneath acknowledgment, apparently.
"Okay," said Stephanie breezily, "but obviously when Susan comes back, she's going to feel really badly that you disapprove. I mean, I know that you do disapprove..." She added, "And Tommy knows, too."
The disembodied voice from the porch. "Susan is a grown woman. She and her husband can be as ...," a pause, "unconventional as they wish. I do not disapprove or approve."
"You just won't take part in the proceedings? Should I tell Susan you refused to come in?" Stephanie had settled on a line of attack, but did she really want Sandra to come in?
Mom made a fatal concession. "I don't mind coming in. I'm no prude, you know. I'm not..." The door swung open, she stepped in, shoulders very straight—handsome woman—and eyes well under control. Not staring at "it."
"Should I say, 'Happy Birthday,' Tommy?" she asked, very sweetly, a little arch, a mite playful. She looked at me. And so did Stephanie, giving me one threatening glance, lifting her chastising hand slightly.
I blurted out: "This is what happens when you challenge your wife to a game of penalty (I was taking responsibility like a gentleman) and you lose." I added, with subdued ruefulness in my voice: "I told her ahead of time what I'd do to her, if she lost!"