"Bullshit!" my friend since year five of college Jeff exclaimed slamming his half empty bottle of beer on my dining room table. The cards on the table shifted slightly, as his wife rolled her eyes. "Dude that is such utter bullshit,"
"No bullshit," I said. "I was 23 at the time and...fuck it, I'll get the video and prove it,"
"Oh hell no!" my fiancΓ©e Lynn shouted. "What the fuck? How the hell," she paused flustered. "Why the hell am I just learning about this shit?"
I shrugged. "I guess to avoid this,"
"But damn...four years," she replied calmer. "I've known you four years and this is the first time I have heard about this," she shook her head, her long thick hair moving like waves upon the shore. "I don't have a problem about it; I have a problem with just learning about this shit,"
"Me too," Jeff said. "Dude really, why the fuck have I not seen the video,"
"Here, here," his wife Nancy replied.
"Hang on," I knew exactly where it was. I watched it at least once a month, which I thought was still kind of egotistical. I grabbed the DVD, and walked back to the den and turned on my big screen.
Nancy was the first to grab a seat. "Can we get some popcorn," she said with a giggle.
I hit play, and sat down next to Lynn, who soon managed to somehow snake herself around my body. I looked at her nipples protruding through her lacy pink bra and form fitting t-shirt. "You close enough?"
"Yeah," she whispered. "I just want to stop Nancy from raping you later,"
"This ain't gay porn is it," Jeff quipped from my love seat. His right hand clutched a new bottle of Lowenbrau.
"Ha, ha," I replied. "Don't make your side job mine,"
"I'd still watch it," Nancy replied giving me a wink, and a sly smile.
Jeff looked at her. "You are such a horn dog," he said laughing,
"Arf" Nancy barked. "I'll be your bitch later," she to him with a wicked wink.
Jeff laughed some more, and then he looked back at me. "So, what sexy ass bitch did you get to fuck? Lisa Lipps, Ice LaFox? Oh, I know, I know, Audrey Bitoni!"
"I like her," Nancy replied. "Audrey has great tits,"
"Nope," I replied. "I got to fuck my two favorite porn stars of all time-"
"Dude," Jeff stood up and dropped to his knees. "You fucked jenna Jamison and Tera Patrick? I do indeed bow down to thee."
"No," I said.
"Oh, oh" Nancy cried. "You fucked Briana Banks and Mercedes,"
"Who?" Jefff relplied.
"You know, Mercdes, that sexy Latina with the pouty lips and great ass,"
"Dang Nancy," Lynn replied. "You are a stone cold freak,"
"And that's why I love her," Jeff said kissing her hand.
"No, no, no," I replied. "I got to fuck Hunny Cummings and Tiara Regins,"
The room fell quiet, as if somewhere music stopped playing. They all looked at me for a moment. Nancy was the first to speak. "And who the hell are they?"
I looked at her incredulously. "Only two of the top porn stars of the late 80's and 90's,"
"Did you fuck them in the 90's?" Lynn replied. "I mean porn stars don't exactly age well. I imagine they look beat to hell,"
"Yeah Dr. Who," Jeff said laughing. "What, did you travel back in time to when they were hot?"
"No," I said exasperated. "I fucked them when I was in college, about a year before you and I met,"
Nancy opened her mouth, then closed it, thought for a moment, and then spoke. "I mean...gee...how was it...fucking old pussy?"
"Nancy they were in their forties," I replied. "That is not old,"
"In dog years," she said. "That is an eternity. And those bitches have been fucked and sucked-"
"Age ain't nothin' but a number," Lynn replied backing me up, as she ran her fingers through my hair. "Alliyah said that,"
"And they proved it," I said. "Outside of my Silky Angel," I said rubbing Lynn slowly up and down her back lingering longer at the small of her back, tracing her tattoo. "Fucking those two women was the best sexual experience of my life,"
"Aww," Lynn said smiling. "I'm the best fuck you ever had," She kissed me. "So," Lynn replied. "How did you become a porn star?"
I shrugged, or tried to, but Lynn still had me in a body lock. "Like I said, it was junior year, or for me, year four of college. My birth day was a week away, and well...I needed money, so I answered an ad online...."
Five Years earlier....
I got off the bus, clutching my duffel bag, my heart beating out of control. I brought dic hardening pills, didn't cum for two weeks, as well as some GABA and L-theanine pills to relax my body, and if all else failed I had a handful of Xanax.
The walk from the bus stop to the set was a nice one, which allowed me to relax. Waling always relaxed me. I mean damn, I was nervous. I mean, I could fuck, or at least so I have been told, and my dic has been measured by expert female hands to be around ten inches long. But porn was something different. I was about to get paid for sex, and the idea both thrilled, and scared the hell out of me.
I arrived at 615 Fredrick's, and looked at the three-story row home in the middle of a block full of retails stores and specialty shops. I took a deep breath, and opened the door to reveal a steep stairway leading to a dim hallway. I felt my heart beat faster. So I popped a xanax, took a deep breath and walked up the stairs.
"You got this," I mumbled under my breath. "You got this...." I knocked on the door.
It took a minute or so, before the door opened enough to allow a single eye to stare at me. "Yeah," a deep voice said.
"Uh," I said. "I'm here for the shoot,"
The door slammed shut. I heard a series of clicks before it opened again, "Come on in,"
I looked at the guy who let me in, swallowing hard. "I guess you are security,"