Friends Helping Friends

Chapter 9 -- Cuckoldry for Dummies

(Sara tells the story)

Ryan returned late-afternoon Friday, shortly after I got home from work. He looked tired, and also seemed distant. We had not parted in good spirits when he left on his business trip two days previously, but he should be over it by now, I thought.

I was lounging in my robe in the sun room, and rose to greet him, putting my arms around his neck with a sloppy kiss. He did not respond with the enthusiasm he once would have, so I supposed he was still a little annoyed. I was determined not to let it dampen my good spirits. I was still high from my FFM with Joy and Eric.

"So did you get the job details all worked out?" I asked, trying to sound interested in the work that had taken him away. "Tell me all about it."

A subtle smile lit up his face. "I will later," he said. "Just want to unpack, get a drink and relax right now."

"Sure," I said, trying to look understanding. "Get your drink. Maybe you'd like to relax by the river. I'll come along if that's alright."

After a plunge, Ryan dried himself off and sat next to me on the flat rocks along the river bank.

"So how was your time with our friends?" he asked.

"You want a brief synopsis or the full uncut version, PG or R-rated?"

That got a brief smile. "How did Eric handle two wild women?"

"He did great, although I think we wore him down. Might not see him for a few days." I started to give Ryan a blow by blow (pun intended). The tent in his swim trunks became visible, and the bottom of my two-piece almost as wet as it was in the river as I relived the FFM.

"Eric showed great stamina. He got both Joy and I off with his tongue. Joy and he sixty-nined. She was so used to him lasting forever that she didn't stop in time and took a facial." I described that part of our experience in depth, watching Ryan's face. He was smiling, but it appeared forced, not as natural a response as the erection in his trunks. I decided to cut back on the details.

"So, Eric didn't hold out to screw you?" Ryan asked.

"Oh, he recovered. We went for over an hour while Joy took a nap alongside us. She was sort of worn out to begin with because she had a wild time with an old boyfriend the night before. Anyway, after he came early, giving Joy the facial, Eric wanted to go slow. So he and I fucked very gently for a long time. It was nice. We both came, about the same time, then called it a night. Next day was solid sex, with short breaks to cool off in the river and for meals. He fucked both Joy and I, twice, each of us, and got us both off again. He held out all day, didn't come until about eleven last night, after getting me off for the fifth or sixth time."

I stopped at that general outline because Ryan seemed to get more uncomfortable hearing how good Eric's staying power was, and how much sex we had. But I saw an opportunity for a productive discussion, deciding to open it with a compliment.

"You sure were correct on that insight you had years ago," I said.

"What insight is that?"

"When you said monogamy is overrated, polyamorous relationships an improvement, because each of us is so different. It's a lot to expect for one other person to supply all our individual needs, share our tastes, dislikes and fears. What one doesn't, another can. Less chance for disappointment. In addition, variety can be a lot of fun."

Ryan was silent a moment. "I'm reevaluating that insight," he said at last. "I'm thinking there is too much distraction in a group. Things get out of balance. It's great to pick and choose people to satisfy our needs and emotions of the moment, and it can work in our teens and early 20s, when we're still free and exploring. But it's not so simple once we get attached to someone and settle down. Maybe we're just too competitive and selfish for it to work then."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean that I'm hopelessly in love with you, and want us to go back to the way we were before. We've reconstituted Eric. He doesn't need us any more. Sure, it's fun and exciting screwing around, but there's nothing substantial in that lifestyle, which is the reason why people like us get married and into long-term relationships. We want something of value, something secure. Maybe it gets a little 'same-old' occasionally, but it's worth working through that rather than go casting about again."

I did not know what to say. I hoped Ryan would come back with his mind clarified, open to the new path we had started down. Instead, he seemed to have done a 180-degree turnaround. I reached out and took his hand.

"I still love you, but it's not so simple." I said. "We could take Joy out of the equation. I wouldn't mind that, and don't think you or Eric would, and she has so many lovers she'd hardly miss a beat But I wouldn't want to break it off with Eric. It's not just the sex. I've developed strong feelings for him. And I know that you love him too, in a different way. You guys have been friends forever. Eric does not have to be a threat to our security, or send us 'casting about.' I think he does bring something substantial to our relationship.

Ryan shook his head. "Friendship has its limits. In this case, it may be the tennis court. Watching you suck and fuck him may have been exciting at first, but I don't feel comfortable any longer watching it."

"Okay, we can get around that," I suggested, after a moment of mind turmoil. "We can all just hang out together listening to music or at the river and having dinner together, as we used to. Eric and I can withdraw to the bedroom when we want more, or get together once or twice a week at his place, or here when you plan to be away. After all, we are a modern couple, and...."

"No," he practically shouted. "You're not getting it." After a moment, he added, "I have to tell you something. I wasn't away on business. I wanted to think about all this, so I went to that little resort in the mountains. But being alone didn't help me make any more sense of things. I wound up calling an old girlfriend, Beverly. You don't know her. Anyway, she came over and we spent a couple nights together, and..."

My mouth fell open. I spoke what came into my mind. "You hypocrite. You don't want me making it with Eric, but you run off to the mountains with some bimbo."

"It wasn't my plan when I went away," Ryan said, looking a little sheepish. "It just sort of happened. I felt incredibly alone and rejected, thinking of you fucking your tail off with our friends back here, and got mad. So I called Bev and she was receptive. Not that she's a bimbo. She's divorced, with a couple kids. The point is it wasn't long before I knew it was a mistake. The sex wasn't bad, but too much time had passed. Being with her got old real fast. How much can you hear about somebody else's ex and kids, and stay sane?"

I had to laugh at that, but my anger quickly returned. "You cheated on me," I said loudly. Hearing myself made me laugh again. I had been fucking my husband's best friend while he was fucking that other woman. But still, what I did was out in the open. What he did was not.

"Bev made me miss you all the more," Ryan said.

"So you've had an epiphany. You miss me and won't do it again?"

"Right. I want us to stay a couple."

"But you still want me to break it off with Eric?"

"I want us to be together as we used to."

"And I want to keep Eric in the mix," I declared.

We were silent for a while.

"Being with Bev helped focus the conclusion I was moving toward anyway," Ryan said at last. "I was hoping if we talked this out you would agree Eric doesn't need you any more, and also hoping you wouldn't need him, or want him so bad. If I can't handle this situation any more, would you give him up? If I asked him, he'd probably call it off with you, out of respect for our longtime friendship."

"If you get him to do that, it might screw up our own longtime relationship," I told him. "I love you, and you're important to me, but love shouldn't mean being bullied into giving up other important people in my life. Really, I don't know how I would react if you try to banish Eric from me."

Ryan was again silent. "Well, we have a lot to think about," he said finally. "Maybe we should consider counseling."

"For that to work, we would both have to be focused on the same objective. Better to just work through it ourselves to see if we both agree on the ground rules," I said.

* * *

(Ryan takes up the story)

I thought about my recent retreat with Bev. She said she had thought about me frequently over the years, often wishing we had stayed together. She recalled times that built up my ego about what a great lover I had been. We quickly renewed that part of our relationship, having passionate sex, over and over in multiple positions. But it was not the same as with Sara -- not the same closeness and companionship out of bed. Even though those feelings had been muted lately with Sara, they were hardly there at all with Bev, as our lives had gone in such different directions.

Sara went upstairs and came down with an overnight bag. It was the weekend, and she said she might not be back for a couple days. She gave me a perfunctory kiss and was out the door. I could figure out where she was going.

I had set up the security system to record the FFM Sara had with Eric and Joy during my absence, and decided to watch the product. That was masochistic perhaps, but the video was hot stuff. And there were hours of it. I watched Sara suck Eric's cock, wrap her mouth around his scrotum and give him a hum job as he stuck it into Joy to fuck her doggie style. I watched Sara eagerly take his dick into her own cunt and fuck him in various positions, as did Joy. Light reflected off Eric's shiny cock as it went from cunt to cunt. I had to admire his stamina and rapid recovery after inadvertently creaming Joy's face. The girls seemed to appreciate it, judging by their moans and screams.

It was sad to see my wife enjoy sex with my best friend so much more than she did with me. The saddest part was when they slowly made love for an hour or more, exchanging words of endearment. My sorrow did not stop me from getting very turned on since the video was better than any porn. As in the past, in person at our joint sessions and watching afterwards on the screen, I had my cock in my hand stroking. I blew my load three times, shutting off the video after each ejaculation to recover. I did not want to miss any stimulation, and after re-starting the video resumed fondling myself as they continued fucking on the screen. It was intensely erotic and took a good part of the weekend. I was pretty sore by the time Sara and Eric came almost together in the final orgasm.

But it was not satisfying. I needed her, not some porn images of her. I needed to stick my dick in my wife and hear her gasp, moan and whisper sweet words of love to me, as she once did, and not to my best friend. Would that ever happen again, or must I be satisfied by self-stimulation, a voyeur cuckold creaming his fist while watching them do the real thing? Maybe Pandora's Box had been irrevocably opened, no way to shut it.

Sara returned late Sunday, looking weary, I could guess from what. She brought a bag of Chinese food, which we ate largely in silence. When finished, I mumbled I was going for a drive. She stared at me momentarily with minor curiosity, then said she was going down to the river.

Eric's car was in his driveway. He greeted me with an uneasy smile. I did not mince words, as the two of us had always been candid about our feelings and misgivings. I wanted my wife back, and for her affections to be directed at me, I told him. It was too distressing seeing them as lovers and myself as an outsider. I pointed out his confidence seemed fully restored. The

menage

with my wife had served its purpose and it was time for it to end. He should be able to move on, screw his students or Joy until he found another woman. I assumed my longtime friend would be understanding and sympathetic -- take himself out of the picture voluntarily without me having to beg.

But surprise!

"It's not that easy, man," Eric said. "I've developed really strong feelings for Sara. We have a special bond, like nothing I've ever had with any other woman. I don't want it to end. And I think she feels the same." I was speechless. "That doesn't mean you're out in the cold," he added. I wouldn't do that to you. I appreciate our friendship too much. You let me share that very special woman, which brought me out of my blue funk." He paused a moment. "Maybe we should do it with more privacy. If three and foursomes makes you uncomfortable, you can hook up with Sara or Joy when the vibes are right, and I can enjoy the ladies' company when it's right. We don't have to be all in the same room at once."

I found my tongue. "So you're telling me that this will continue, except that I am going to be further out in the cold, enjoy Sara's favors whenever she consents? That's similar to what she suggested."

"Yeah, we spent the weekend together, and discussed it. I think she does feel separate sessions would make you more comfortable. I also feel it makes sense. We both crave the same woman, man. We're old friends, and there's no reason we can't share her. We shouldn't be selfish about it. If it's not cool to do it together we should do it separately."

"Why couldn't you just confine yourself to Joy? You and she seem to be hitting if off more."

"Joy is a hot piece of ass," Eric said. "She spices things up. But she has her own agenda. She likes fucking around. She wouldn't want to stick just with me. Frankly, I feel the same about her. Sara and I think occasional threesomes with Joy may be good for variety, but even that's not necessary. We prefer just sticking with each other most of the time."

"So, you guys are okay losing Joy from threesomes. And feel the same about me."

Eric was silent a moment. "Pretty much the same, to be honest. We love you, man. But like Sara said, you are becoming a bit of a drag with all this insecurity and possessiveness." After a momentary pause, he added, "If only you could get your head wrapped around this situation. It used to be great when the three of us got together. Now it's not. We would never kick you out, but..."

I saw red. "Never kick me out. Wow, is that generous of you. You wouldn't kick me out of my own place. So I have your permission to stay. Where? On the foldout, listening to the headboard in the master bedroom slam into the wall as you stick it to my wife?"

"Sarcasm aside, that would be one option," Eric said, looking annoyed. "Speaking as someone who occupied that couch and heard those sounds when you and Sara were above me, it's not so bad. Even a turn-on." He paused, and added, "Another option Sara and I discussed is that she and I move here into my place so as not to make things too uncomfortable for you. If you change your mind on things, we can come over there to get together with you or you'd always be welcome to join us here."

My mouth fell open so far, a truck could have been parked in it. "You two are moving in together? She's leaving me? You discussed that too?"

Eric nodded.

"Maybe I should write a book," I said. "Cuckoldry for Dummies."

* * *

(So this series will at least pause, if not end on an uncertain note. Time may tell how all these conflicting feelings play out, and whether these friends can really help one another.)