She was afraid of it ending, but she was terrified that it would continue.
Callie had not been able to figure out what was going on with her coworker. Adan had been distant...but then again, their paths did not cross once the spring term was over. She was in her office, around campus, preparing for the next academic year, organizing syllabi, connecting with the students, and he was presumably doing the same thing, but in his own physical spheres. She emailed him occasionally about mundane things, and always received a response within a few hours. The speed of response could mean that he was waiting for her emails...or it could simply mean that, like Callie, Adan spent the majority of his time at his computer, as well.
The fantasies in her mind continued, but she had nothing to anchor them on. She imagined Adan even when she made an effort to redirect her erotic thoughts towards another man, or towards a fantasy. But her mind always rested upon Adan. His arms, his height (he was tall!), his imagined scent (she realized that she had never noticed a cologne or other artificial scent from him. Did he just smell like...male skin? Like the tang of precum?) He was an obsession. And without seeing him around the office and the facilities over the summer, she started to question herself.
Were the emails from the previous months just polite office banter? Callie had deleted many of them, out of fear of...the unknown. Would the IT department read them and read into them? What if she stepped away from her office, and someone decided to snoop through her folders? Was the undercurrent of lust and tension just on her end? Was there anything at all? The warm looks, the smiles, the conversations about nothing, the departmental celebration at the bar in the spring....
Callie resolved to do everything within her power to keep her eyes open for another hint that she was not just a silly young woman, lusting after a coworker. But the fall term would tell. They were already assigned two projects to work on together, and Callie suspected that a third might come about by the end of the fall season. Then, perhaps, she could push things so that she could get herself rejected. Then, and only then, she feared, she would be able to put this man out of her mind, and stop shoving her fingers inside of her pussy at the mere thought of him.