"That's A Question!!??"
It had been a long, hot, dry and tiresome summer of study, classes, flight simulator time, flight time, tests and more tests, and then, when it seemed that we were just about finished with flight school, it would start all over again. As flight cadets we initially had no need of flight instructors, classes or flight simulator time, just put us in the latest and hottest fighter and let us get on with it!! That's what we initially thought anyway!
Boy, were we in for a surprise or what! The second weekend of boot camp we were all scheduled for our first flight in a real jet, albeit only a T-33 trainer. These jets are a side-by-side two-seater! Each cadet, along with a flight instructor, were to get a one hour introduction to the true reality of flying! Afterwards there wasn't a single cadet that walked from the tarmac under his own steam when those instructors got through with us! I was no exception! Talk about getting your feet wet, those instructors left absolutely nothing out of their flying repertoire and I mean nothing! They did rollovers, stalls, vertical dives and inside and outside loops, not once or twice but as often as the flight captain felt we could no longer survive it any longer!
Then the SOB's would, in a very kindly sarcastic voice, ask: "What do you think! Like to do some more or would you rather call it a day?", as if we could respond! None of us had any preparation for it other than to be told; "Guys we're going flying this weekend!" Not one cadet, out of the twenty-four that were in flight school, that hadn't devised some plan to pull a surprise on the "old man", as we referred to the flight instructors, once we were at the controls! Those lessons were well taught and there wasn't one single distraction from anyone from that time forward till the time we graduated! Now that the graduation ceremonies were over, we actually did graduated from flight school, the time had come to celebrate! Celebrate we would... and how!!
The nearest major city was some four hours from base, so we pooled our resources and in groups of four, each group rented a car. We were to pick up our rental unit at about five p.m. that day. Unfortunately that didn't happen, the unit which had been designated for us hadn't yet been returned by the previous lessee, so we had to wait for some two hours till the next unit was returned. Somewhat disgusted by the turn of events, which saw the other five groups leave right on schedule, yelling and waving at us as they departed for an evening of big city foraging for whatever of the opposite sex that might be available, we returned to the base. The car rental office was located at a small shopping center just a mile or so from the base. Upon returning to base we headed for the lounge and some cold beverages, it was 90 F degrees and we had just walked about two miles. We were neither in a good mood nor looking for the return walk back to the car rental agency! However a nice cool drink would go along way to quench our thirst as well as ease our frustrations!
I was the only non alcoholic drinker in the group so I not only got myself nominated as driver/chauffeur. Unfortunately I was foreseeing a night of baby sitting the other three as they were ordering doubles and it wasn't yet six p.m. Anyway, rather than complain I resigned myself to being, not only their chauffeur, their chaperone! "So be it!" I solaced. Shortly after, I think that perhaps the guys were now on their third round of doubles, one of the guys excused himself and went to the bathroom just as a senior officer entered the bar. He motioned to us to remain seated as he approached our table!
"Graduation ceremonies all over boys?" he inquired.
"Yes Sir!" we replied in unison.
"Oh well! What a hell of a day it's been for me! I was looking forward to being here to see my son graduate! The wife will be as mad as a hatter when she finds out that I didn't make it! First my flight was late getting in from the capital, then I run the car off the road trying to avoid a God damn cow being chased across the highway by a fat assed farm girl! Christ I almost killed myself! Anyway I'm here, better late than never! What you boys doing to celebrate graduation! Not staying on base I hope!"
"No sir!"
"We're planning to go into the city for the night! Too bad the Air Force won't let us go without our uniforms though!"
"Oh! Regulations and all that stuff! You know how it is boys! Besides uniforms really get the girls turned on! So don't complain! By the way do you guys know my son? His name is Blaine! Blaine Paris! Don't tell him I told you but his nick name is "Dong"! Where they came up with a nickname like that I'll never know! Ha! Ha!" We sheepishly looked at each other in a way as to not attract Mr. Paris' attention, each knowing exactly what the other was thinking about Blaine and his nickname!
Blaine was one of four blacks in flight school, and whereas nobody was introduced up until that point, we had all been curious which of these guys would be this officer's son! He in fact, as aforementioned, had just left for the bathroom just before the officer came into the bar!
"Well sir! Here he comes now! He's been to the bathroom and is joining us to celebrate in the city!"
"Dad!" Blaine shouted as he recognized his father! They hugged and exchanged pleasantries as they seated themselves at the table.
"Another round for my boys here, Gilbert!" Mr. Paris yelled to the bartender.
"Yes, Sir! Coming right up!" he replied. Mr. Paris related, once again, his day of adversity to Blaine as he had with us!
"Dad, what time were you supposed to have that car back to the rental agency?" Blaine asked his father.
"Between four and five! But that accident really threw a monkey wrench into that schedule! It's over at the base garage getting a new tire put on before I take it back! I blew the right wheel tire when I went off the road and had to drive back on one of those damn monkey wheels! I'm also having them check it for any damage I might not have had seen! Don't want to have that damn rental agency charging me double for everything, ya know!"
"It isn't bad enough that you didn't make it to my graduation!" Blaine complained, yet politely, "You also screwed up our trip to the city! Your car is the one we were supposed to get!"
"Well I'll tell you what son, to make it up to you I'll pay the car rental and that'll give you and your friends here a little more cash to spend celebrating with the girls! How's that!"
"Super!" we all yelled in unison! This represented quiet a savings to a group of young fly boys!!
"What a difference a weekend in the city would be now!" I thought loudly.
"Well listen boys, you may as well pick up the car at the garage and take it back! All the papers are in the glove compartment. Fill in the info they require and Blaine can bring my receipt back to me when you guys get back from the city! They already have my signed credit card imprint! O.K Blaine?"
"Yes! Sure Dad!" Blaine replied enthusiastically.
"Here, Blaine! May as well take a credit card and fill it with gas before you take it back, otherwise they'll charge me a service fee to fill it up! Take it with you and spend a hundred or so and entertain your friends, O.K.!"
"Gee... thanks dad!" everyone replied as if all of us were a son! It didn't take long to pick up the car, return to the rental agency and get on our way! Of course all the driving privileges, be whatever they may have had been, were handed to me.
Along the highway we were all signing and making small talk about what a wild weekend we were going to have in the city, like how many girls we were going to seduce and what we were going to do with each and every one of them! "Much like what we were going to initially show our flight instructors!" I mused. "The fact that our adrenaline and testosterone's were running on an excess of high octane of course would save the day!" My inattentiveness to my driving, distracted by all that sexual talk about what we'll be doing and how often once we get to the city, got me into a heap of trouble just thirty minutes into our trip. Passing a large eighteen wheeler I ran into a double line when out of no where a police cruiser came up behind us, lights flashing and siren blaring! I pulled over as quickly as possible and watched with great intrepidation as the officer pulled up behind us and made his way to our car! To the driver's side of course! The others had open beer in the car which, although they were attempting to conceal it, was also against the law regardless of who was driving!
"Hi! Anxious to get somewhere in a hurry are you! You know that you were doing ninety in a fifty zone! I guess I can add to that passing on a double line!"
"Yes sir! But it wasn't double when we started to pass, officer!" a voice from the back seat echoed!
