It was an uncommon way to get to a common score: five offensive touchdowns, a pick-six, a missed extra-point, two missed field goals, a two-point conversion, three field goals, a safety, and four turnovers. But, as the final seconds of our first preseason contest ticked off the game clock, Minnatoba Area College was the 31, not the 20.
Coach Ericson was doused with a cooler of sports drink. There were a few obligatory handshakes, but no hugs. A bi-partisan prayer circle at midfield... But the sidelines cleared soon after Bobby took that final knee. The Voyageurs' cheerleaders, myself included, followed our players through the tunnel and into the Men's Locker Room.
This wasn't my first choice -- it probably wasn't anyone's. I had wanted to go to a traditional residential college, or to a big university.
I told myself that going to junior college here was a rational decision. But of course "rational" really meant "cheap." There were three groups of traditional students here: the undecided, those not offered scholarships, and those who lacked academic credentials. Well, at least the subset of those groups who either couldn't afford or didn't want to go into debt to pay for college.
As we walked through the double doors, Mike playfully grabbed Cathy and pulled her onto his lap while Justine gave Leo a big wet kiss. Matt and Marc started to talk to Beth who pulled off her uniform top in response. Danni sat on Lewis' lap. I snickered to myself thinking that I was attending a school where everyone thought that the "Four Disciples" were Jon, Marc, Matt, and Lewis.
Tom gave me a quick kiss. I told him that he'd get more, when he didn't stink.
"They all stink," Coach Ericson said rather loudly.
That was true. But as he aired his grievances it was clear that Coach wasn't concerned about our hygiene. He was upset about all of the "mental errors" the team had made and he "wasn't impressed by a meaningless win."
Anna couldn't help but giggle at his macho act, which brought Coach's ire upon her.
"In fact," he said, "all you ladies should leave right now."
"Coach," said Bobby, "I know that I fucked up, a lot--"
"Language ... " said Coach.
"Everyone in here is over 18. I deserve to be yelled at. I accept that. They don't ... lighten up ... please."
"This is the Men's Locker Room--"
"We'z whim-menz," a naked Barbra said as she playfully cupped her breasts.