It was about two thirty when he arrived home. Gavin almost shit himself. Irenes car was outside.
He parked in the drive and slowly walked the green mile to his door. He could see Irene and Elaine in the kitchen they were smiling and chatting.
"OK, whatever trouble she has come to cause hasn't happened yet," he thought to himself. He opened the door. The two women looked at him as he came through the door.
"Hello," said Elaine.
"Hello," said Irene in her quiet Scottish lilt.
"Hello," said Gavin in a confused state.
"Irene was just passing and called in," explained Elaine, "I insisted that she stay for dinner. It's been so long since she visited."
"Is that OK Gavin?" piped Irene.
"Of course," replied Gavin.
Elaine carried on chatting to Irene about people and just general stuff; it was not often they had visitors especially female ones so she was making up for lost time. Despite the fact that Irene had been Gavins business partner for almost sixteen years, this was only the fourth time she had visited the house. Gavin pretended not to take much notice; he was in fact listening to every syllable.
"What was she doing here?" is all he could think.
Irene seated next to Elaine on the sofa looked relaxed and chatted naturally, casting the occasional glance and smile at Gavin. When Elaine left to use the bathroom, Gavin leaped across the floor to Irenes side.
"What are you doing here?" he almost hissed.
Irene placed her hand on his knee and patted him. "Don't worry," she said, "I didn't come to cause trouble."
The earnest but relaxed look on her wrinkly face reassured him.
"It was you I came to see. You told me you were here on your own today. I thought I'd surprise you."
"Shock more like," he said.
They heard the toilet flush. Irene pulled him towards her and kissed his lips, "I came to let you fuck my bum," she whispered.
Gavin recoiled from her as Elaine entered the room. The kiss had taken him by surprise. He had not wanted it. The bum offer was tempting but he already knew that Paula would look after him there. Elaine continued her discussion about nothing in particular. Gavin felt secure enough with the situation to leave them to it. He excused himself and went upstairs to his computer room. His daughters were in their room playing on their own computer.
He sat down and flicked on the screen to look at the pictures of Irenes cunt once more. It was not that he wanted Irene, just the opposite; he had determined to tell her that they could not continue any form of sexual relationship. He did find it amusing though to look at the pictures while she was downstairs talking to his wife, even more amusing to sniff her dirty knickers while he looked. His hand had found the knickers in the drawer. His other hand was rubbing his hardening shaft through his jeans.
"I see you found them," said Irene
Gavin jumped out of his seat.
"Fuck! Caught red handed," his mind raced for an excuse, it failed.
Irene lifted the hem of her red skirt exposing her black stockings, suspenders and a pair of crimson cotton knickers. Her thick bush was clearly poking out either side of the gusset.
"You can sniff the real thing if you like," she challenged.
"I'm sorry, this is pretty embarrassing," he said.
"It's OK; I have already been through your laundry basket looking for yours."
The bizarre admission did make him feel better. "Where's Elaine?"
"She's downstairs, I just came up to use the loo."
Irene stepped towards him, Gavin flicked the computer reset button, at least she had not seen the pictures from where she was standing.
His mind was looking for a way out, "OK Irene it's like this I was sniffing your knickers and rubbing my cock because I don't find you attractive and there is no way we can continue a relationship involving sex... maybe not."
Irene reached down and felt his shaft. "Mmmmm, that will fit nicely in my bum."
"My kids are next door and my wife is downstairs." It was more of a plea than a statement.
"I would never do anything to jeopardise your family," she assured him, "but I do need you, my cunt has been on fire since yesterday, I want your cock."
Gavins resolve was weakening, twenty-four hours ago, he had his tongue jammed up this woman's fanny and she had swallowed his sperm, today she was offering anal sex and begging for his cock. She had just found him sniffing her knickers and unknown to her he had been looking at close up pictures of her cunt and arse hole. Who was he kidding of course he was not going to end it; he wanted to fuck her brains out.
"We'll have to go for a walk or something, we can't do anything here." He said.
"I'm not really a shag behind a bush sort of woman."
"I didn't suppose you were but I can't see any other way."
Just then, they heard Elaines steps on the stairs. Irene took a step back straightened her dress and looked out of the window.
Elaine entered the room. "He's not boring you with computers is he?" she asked.
"No not at all."
"You should've seen what he had on the screen yesterday, it was really weird."
Alarm bells were ringing. "She doesn't want to hear about it now." He tried to head his wife off.
"Why? What was it?" enquired Irene.
"Actually it's really very rude." Elaine was backtracking she hardly knew Irene and perhaps a conversation about hairy fannies was not quite the thing.
"Ohhh, I like really rude," joked Irene.
Gavin wanted the ground to swallow him; a knock at the door saved him.
"I'll get it," he said practically running out of the room.
It was the woman from next door, asking if his kids would like to go and play with her son at the park. He called to his daughters and in a stampede that could only have been caused by a herd of buffalo or two little girls they left the house.
Gavin stood at the foot of the stairs. He could just make out the two womens voices.
"The strange thing was I was quite turned on by it," he could hear Elaine saying. "Not that I'm that way inclined, towards women I mean. It was just all that hair, it was so earthy and raw."
"Actually I know what you mean. I felt the same way many years ago. I haven't tended the garden for quite a while now," said Irene in a matter of fact manner.
"You mean you're ... you know... down there?" She gave a little nod in the direction of Irenes groin. Elaine was fascinated.
"I guess I am quite a tangle down there."
"Are you naturally hairy? I'm not, I've never had a really thick growth, and I've just always shaved the underneath bits."
Gavin could not believe it. His wife was discussing pubic hair with Irene. He was strangely fascinated and listening to them was quite a turn on, but it was all too close to home.
"It's not something I've ever really considered," he heard Irene continue. "I don't go around looking at other women's nether regions so I'm not one to judge."
Elaine called to him "Gavin, can you get those pictures back on the screen? I want to show Irene."
"That's not happening. No way. I can't have my wife showing Irene pictures of her own fanny that I took while unconscious from the cunt licking I gave her." he thought.
Even his cock agreed with that one.
"I can't. They were on the internet and I don't know how I found them," he replied.
"They'll be in the browser history," suggested Irene.
"I cleared it," he lied. He climbed the stairs and re-entered the room. "Look if my wife and partner want to spend their afternoon looking at other womens hairy fannies I'm not going to argue. Just Google 'hairy cunt pics', I'm sure you'll find lots."
"OK" Elaine said, and did.
Irene pulled up another chair and the two women began browsing through the endless stream of hairy cunt pictures. Gavin looked on in disbelief.
"This is bizarre," he said.
"It's just a bit of fun," said Elaine, "we look through magazines to choose a hair style, this is the same thing."
"If I sat looking at hundreds of fanny pictures you would go mad at me. Or rather if I sat and roamed through hairy dick pictures you would get very worried."
"Yes but we're not looking for the same reasons that you would be looking, this isn't about sex," argued Elaine.
"I'm just curious to see how I measure up," added Irene grinning at him.
"Yes it's more like research," reinforced Elaine.
"Well I'd love to stay and look at vaginas with you but it would only make me upset, if you know what I mean." Gavin left the room and went to lie on his bed.
"That's not really hairy though, is it?" he heard Irene ask.
"It's a lot bushier than mine, but it has been trimmed to shape," his wife replied, "the one he was looking at was totally unkempt and it was bushier. Would you like some wine?"
"Please."
He heard his wife descend the stairs, followed by a chink of glasses and the pop of cork leaving bottle. All the while, the mouse clicked away in the next room. He had half-expected Irene to run in and try to molest him in some way but she remained in the other room. Soon he heard his wife returning.
"I didn't know which you liked so I brought both. Red or white?"
"Either," giggled Irene.
The clicking of mouse and the clinking of glass continued for another half hour. Gavin dozed off.
He awoke with a start. He tried to remember what was going on and what he should be doing. "Paula? No. Elaine? No. Irene? Oh right, it's OK my wife and mistress are looking at pornography on my computer."
He climbed off the bed and headed towards his computer room. He listened at the door to bring himself up to speed on what was going on.
"That's the hairiest one yet," Elaine almost shouted, they both giggled loudly.
"I think I prefer the shaved ones, now," chortled Irene.
