I was nearly done fixing my neighbor's broken dryer, sweaty as could be, as it was already unseasonably warm for an afternoon in April, Saturday to be precise, when the door to the laundry room opened behind me. I wrapped up the last of the repairs before standing up to face whoever it was, thinking that it was Daisy Eisenstein, the sultry soccer mom who had asked me to do this as a favor. When I turned around, though, it was her daughter, April, all of eighteen years and a likely candidate to equal her mother's beauty in the future, though as a ginger with freckles and fair skin, instead of the swarthier Daisy.
"Hey, April. I just finished fixing the dryer, so if you need to do laundry, everything should be in working order," I smiled in my usual friendly, if sometimes awkward, manner.
"Well, actually, Mom wanted me to ask you to join us for supper. Pesach is over and Shabbos is nearly over, so this is a nice chance to have company tonight. I think that she's lonely as ever, especially since her last guy moved out. So many relationships, marriages, divorces, husbands, boyfriends, and most recently, a fiance, all very rough on both of us. It's tough to find a man who can handle us, I guess," April spoke wistfully, making me feel genuine empathy for a moment in spite of my usual cynicism.
"Very sorry for both of you, but if I can perhaps relieve her loneliness and yours for a moment, maybe it will be worthwhile, plus I'm not exactly dating anyone myself. Tell me the truth, was that the ulterior motive behind this? A professional repairman could have fixed this easier, but your mother asked a neighbor, namely me. Not that I minded, of course. It's a pleasure to hang around here and spend time with the both of you," I assured April, who reached out a hand to touch my face, letting me shock her with a kiss to said hand.
"You kissed my hand? Damn! That's...corny, but sweet. You don't even believe in chivalry, or so you say, but you kissed my hand. Would you do that for my mother?" April asked me, curiously.
"Of course. I don't believe in chivalry, but I do believe in showering the worthy with affection. You're worthy and so is she. I watched you grow up, April. I like you. I always have. I like your mother, too. The only times that I've avoided you guys were certain events when she was married to or dating those dicks. What was the deal with that last one, anyway? He was horrible to her! Just God awful! Anyway, enough of that. I don't mean to make either of you feel bad and all that," I declared as I realized that I wasn't so fresh...I was sweaty and needed a shower like crazy.
"Worried about your sweat and dirt, Mr. Sabatini? Mom told me to tell you that the shower is free. Just strip and pop in, and well, we'll take care of the rest. No need to worry about what to wear afterward, trust me," April suggested, making me feel a little anxious, but also touched by her mother's gesture of true hospitality.
"Thank you, April, and tell your mother that I said, 'thank you' as well. That's very kind of both of you," I took my neighbor at her word, just glad that my daughter Bianca wasn't there to hear us...I'd never hear the end of it.
"You know, your daughter and mine did playdates for years and they've always been almost like sisters or cousins. I enjoyed babysitting Bianca, too, Caesar, just as you enjoyed babysitting April for me. I almost feel like 'Aunt Daisy' to her, you know," Daisy announced her presence, "And you're very welcome, dear. So, you'll stay for the first supper after Passover?"
"He feels like...'Uncle Caesar,' to me, too, if you ask me," April said as she hugged me tightly, getting her hands "accidentally" on my butt.
"I would be honored to do so, Daisy. And I'm honored that you think of Bianca and me as family that way. That is very sweet of you yet again," I answered, hoping that things didn't get too awkward due to April's brazen flirting with me, which I took to be simply a young woman's crush.
Then again, April got that honestly, given that Daisy slept with me various times in the past, especially when her marriages and relationships were on the rocks or she was between husbands and boyfriends. Since Bianca's mother walked out on me seven years before, leaving me (mostly) responsible for a child whose paternity was never entirely confirmed, I had simply squeezed in a sex life where I could (Daisy was just one example) and gave up on love! To be fair, I was never the model for fidelity, either, before Liz took off with Bruce, so this was hardly new. I had even cheated on Liz with Daisy a few times while married (and at least twice before the separation while Daisy was supposedly "happy" with her second husband Stewart).
The funny thing was that Liz never bothered with the formalities of a divorce, possibly so as not to burn her bridges with Holy Mother Church, so we were both serial adulterers as a result of our actions in the eyes of our religion. Liz sometimes used that as a loophole to cheat on Bruce with me. Given my personal hatred of him, I was more than willing to let her, as long as she knew that she had no hope of getting me back. I also made sure to remind her of how much she enjoyed my dick when she got it.
I was still never sure what Liz saw in Bruce (other than money and a "jetset" lifestyle) or why she never even fought me for at least joint-custody of Bianca, but I gave up on worrying about it. Liz saw Bianca only when it suited her to the role of a "loving mom," but the hard work of parenting was always too much of an obstacle to the luxurious life of dating a high-flier like Bruce. She remained my estranged, legally separated, and adulterous wife who sometimes visited her rube of an Italian, working-class husband and her suburban, middle-class daughter (at least that was how it felt at times).
Suddenly, I was snapped out of my thoughts by April handing me a towel. Daisy winked at me went to her computer to look up recipes that she could start up fast after sunset, when Shabbos ended. April just smiled and followed me to the guest bathroom, presumably to retrieve my dirty clothes for temporary storage. I was about to close the door to undress, but April's small hands stopped me, or rather, her voice did.
"Leave it cracked, please, Mr. Sabatini. That way, I can take your clothes through the crack. Remember, you don't have to worry about new clothes. We've got that covered, too," April reassured me, though I thought her choice of words rather odd.
