Upper Kemplon FC play their football in the women's North-Eastern Regional League Division 2. Under their manager, Evan Adams, they have had had a couple of good seasons where they narrowly missed out on promotion by just a few points, but this season has been a complete disaster, and as the season comes to an end they are fighting relegation.
One of the few highlights of the season was being drawn at home to Middlesbrough in the North Eastern league trophy. The game didn't go well (an 8-1 defeat) but it was a good experience for the players. Clare Wozniak scored a rare goal to pull it back to 2-1 but the quality of the opposition told in the end. The draw was made at St James Park and Evan and the team captain Jenna Payne went along. Jenna wanted to go mainly because of who was making the draw. It was by those two little Geordie fellows off the telly that all the women love.
Defeat today (or even a draw) would send them down into the newly formed Division 3 (effectively tier 8) and their opposition today, Chellum Town, are in the same position, win or drop!
The day had started brightly, not especially warm but sunny none the less. Evan was feeling quite positive about his teams chances after a good training session in the week.Chellum Town seemed more up to the challenge and soon raced into an early lead and were 2 - 0 up in the first 15 minutes.
The game was being played at UKFC's home ground. At this level of the game it is basically park football with the majority of teams just playing on a muddy field with no facilities but UKFC are different. They are lucky enough to use the ground of a local men's non-league Club. The ground even has a sheltered stand with around a hundred and fifty seats. There's a handful of friends and family there but they look bored and probably won't stay beyond half-time.
There is also a changing room (home team only) which has some communal showers. Evan and his assistant Keith, are allowed in pre-match to talk to his team but not after the match, for obvious reasons.
The game draws on but after an encouraging start to the second half the energy levels are starting to drop off for UKFC.
The skies turn grey overhead.
Twenty minutes left!
Evan Adams turns to his bench for a solution. Jenna Payne, club captain, has finished her warm-up and is removing her tracksuit bottoms. Her chubby, pale legs belie her athleticism. He knows deep down he should have started her today. We wouldn't be in this mess, that's for sure. But discipline is discipline.
Jenna receives her briefing from Evan, be hard and decisive, but please, don't get sent off.. again!
Four red cards in one season! Even by Jenna's standards that's bad. Luckily her latest suspension ended last week ready for this final game.
Jenna's startling green eyes focus on her manager's every word and she doesn't break eye contact as she pulls her long white socks up over her knees, leaving around six inches of flesh exposed between there and her shorts.
The change is made and Jenna replaces Stephens the central defender allowing Sienna Davis to push forward. They've had the opposition on the rack since the re-start, but poor finishing and some dogged defending haven't improved Upper Kemplon's lot. As the opposition break up field, Jenna sees her first action. Getting a toe on the ball to poke it away from the attacking player, she only manages to knock it into the path of their winger. Jenna gives chase and puts in a full-blooded tackle. Missing the ball completely, she catches the leg of the player and brings her down. Yellow card.
Evan looks at his watch, 30 seconds can't have passed since he sent her on. He shakes his head as Jenna gives him a sheepish look.
Going into the final game of the season, Upper Kemplon FC sat bottom of the table, two points from safety. Their opposition today, Chellum Town, were level on points with them but above them on goal difference. Both sides needed to win to avoid relegation into the 3rd division of the North East Women's league. Harvon Ladies sit 3 points further ahead and only need a draw. UKFC had had a terrible start to the season. 8 straight defeats from the off including 9-1 trouncing at their nearest rivals North Kemplon Ladies. These final few minutes would make Evan's mind up. Stay up, I stay. Go down, I QUIT!
Keith, his assistant, is on the phone to his mate at the Harvon game. They are also 0-2 down.
Current standings.
Relegation zone pld WD Ls Fr Ag GlD PTS
Chellum Town fc 30 4 6 20 45 99 -54 18
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Harvon Rovers fc30 4 6 20 37 92 -55 18
Upper Kemplonfc30 3 6 21 39 79 -40 15
The ball is sent towards the UKFC penalty area where Davis makes a stooping header clear but only as far as one of their players. Another cross comes in. The ball bounces through to the opposition forward who hooks the ball towards the bottom corner. The keeper, Katy Smith, dives at full stretch and gets a hand to it to push it away. Evan knows a third would have finished them.
Upper Kemplon get the ball forward to the halfway line and Jenna Payne looks to start an attack.
The first spots of rain began to fall. Cold, hard, heavy spots hammer the top of Evan's thinning, mousy brown hair.
He'd made the switch to the women's game 3 years ago after years coaching a couple of the local boys teams. He was very successful during that time. Cup wins and a league title. But this venture hasn't gone well. He thought it would be an easy route to the top. The women's game was gaining popularity and if he could make a success of it he may have made it to the Super league. Maybe even as England manager!
Pure fantasy football!
But here he is, just over 10 minutes from taking these girls down to a new low.
The attack leads to a corner, which the talented Delilah Rees whips in. Sienna Davis meets the ball with her head, it spins across the six yard box and Evan briefly loses sight of the ball in amongst the crowd of legs....but then....the net ripples and his girls turn away in triumph. 1-2! A glimmer of hope.
Evan barks out a few instructions. Mainly "get the fucking ball we still need two more goals!"
It's mid-spring but the rain is falling like a wintery shower now.
From the kick off UKFC charge down the opposition and regain possession. Rees, the skillful winger, charges down the left and cuts inside the box. A challenge from a defender sends her tumbling. PENALTY!
Delilah Rees is the only black girl in the squad. Evan wasn't out to pick players to meet diversity targets or anything, but he did feel proud to have a black girl in his team, there didn't seem too many in this league. The opposition had an Asian girl on their team who was playing very well. He'd already made a mental note to sign her if the chance arose. But signing players based on their ability wasn't foremost in Evan's plan. He was playing sexual fantasy football. If he saw a player that met a kink or fantasy then he'd try to sign her.
Lauren Brown bends over to place the ball on the penalty spot, stretching the material of her shorts to the extreme, she takes a few steady backward strides and glances at the referee. Once the referee was happy with everyone's position, she blows the whistle.
Lauren was the only Geordie in the group and an avid Newcastle United fan.
To say Lauren was good looking was akin to saying that Lionel Messi was a useful player. She's drop dead gorgeous! Her blonde shoulder length hair was pinned back in a tight bun. In fact there were a few tight buns out on the field. Yes, Lauren certainly had model looks to go with her perfect figure and those long, loooooong legs!
But just as vitally she could really hit a ball. And there hadn't been a more vital time than now.
Brown takes a couple of long strides up to the spot and strikes the ball with force but more importantly, accuracy. Their keeper guesses the right way but the ball flies over her arm and into the net.
2-2!! All level! Keith informs Evan of the score at Harvon. "They're 4-0 down. We just need one now."
Current standings
Relegation zone pld WD Ls Fr Ag GlD PTS
Harvon Rovers fc30 4 6 20 37 94 -57 18
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