My wife's cousin Ashley is a real bitch. She's the type of girl who thinks she's "all that and a bag of chips;" when in reality the bag of chips is more appealing. Now don't get me wrong she isn't bad looking, 5'6", about 170 lbs., maybe a B-cup, and a big flat ass. I didn't misspell that I meant a flat ass; her ass is more wide than round. She also has an incredibly abrasive personality, mostly because she is so vulgar when she speaks. Nothing about her is lady-like and that irritates her father, as well as, my wife and I to no end. That being said, I wasn't the least bit happy when my wife called me at work and asked if I would pick Ashley up. I was working my part time job as a security officer in one of the downtown office buildings when she called. She knew I was getting off at midnight and begged me to help out her uncle who couldn't leave work to pick her drunken ass up.
Apparently her so-called friends had taken all they could for the night and left her stranded at a nearby bar. My wife couldn't make the trip because of our sleeping children. I agreed to be the taxi, and told her she owed me big. Thankfully I had a change of clothes with me so I didn't have to traipse around in my uniform. I found her all teary-eyed in a booth in the back. The bartender told me he cut her off about an hour ago because she was stumbling around and slurring her speech real bad. He also told me one of the waitresses had to rough her up a bit to get her to settle down, apparently she had been groping all the male customers. I paid her ninety-dollar tab, picked her up by the belt on her mini skirt and literally carried her out the door. The crisp winter air gave her her second wind. Although she was still slurring her speech a little she was able to walk by herself. She was spewing all sorts of garbage about how she was going to kick all their asses and make them sorry they ditched her. It was actually funny to watch this twenty-one year old drunken trash mouth stumble while ranting and raving. When we finally got to the car she was talking a little clearer. She started begging me to stop and buy her more booze.
"Please," Ashley whined, "I really need another drink."
"You had ninety dollars worth," I scolded, "that I'm probably never getting paid back for."
"Please," she whined again, "I'll do anything for another drink."
"Anything," I mumbled to myself.
Then she did something that I totally didn't expect; she reached over and fondled my crotch.
"ASHLEY," I yelled batting her hand away.
She giggled at me and tried to fondle me again.
"If I buy you some beer," I asked fighting off her advances, "will you stop that?"
"Okay," she giggled.
We stopped at a gas station so I could buy some beer and she could go pee. I bought a six-pack of the cheapest stuff they had and went and sat in the car. I was on the phone with my wife when I saw her come out of the bathroom and walk up to the clerk. It looked as if she was trying to buy cigarettes. I knew she had no money because her purse was in the car next to me. I saw her messing with her top and the clerk nodding his head no; then I saw her turn around. Her top was unbuttoned and her bra was pulled up over her titties. I saw her bend over and pull her plaid mini skirt up over her ass. The clerk's face blushed immediately. He started to reach out to touch it when she turned around and started yelling at him. Flustered the clerk gave her the cigarettes and she stormed out of the store fixing her blouse. I gave my wife a play by play and left the phone line open so my wife could hear as Ashley got back in the car.
"What the hell was that about," I asked as she was getting into the car.
"Some guys," she slurred popping a beer can open, "just can't handle themselves when a pretty lady is around."
I bit my tongue, still fuming over the incident that lead up to me spending more money on her. I put the phone back up to my ear and started to tell my wife good-bye.
"If that bitch gets out of line again," my wife hissed, "I want you to black her eye."
I chuckled out loud and hung the phone up. As we pulled away from the gas station I heard a second pop. Ashley had chugged one and started on her second. A block from the gas station she was opening her third. As I drove she wouldn't shut up about how her friends were assholes, and fuck them; she babbled on for 10 minutes without stopping. What made it worse was she was slurring everything and I was only catching half of her words. As we drove towards her house we went through the red light district, it was an older part of town where most of the buildings were dark at night. Scattered through this area are cheaper bars and the occasional porn theater. As we came across the first theater she stopped talking and just stared. As we passed it she asked me if I had ever been in one. Knowing she'll remember very little the next morning I admitted I had been to one or two. She started slurring a million questions at me; what was it like inside, what could you buy, is it clean; then she asked if we could go in. We were stopped at a red light and she asked, no, more like begged me to go in. I told her no. Then she reached for my crotch again. I panicked and caved in; we pulled into the next theater's parking lot.
"Stay close," I warned her.
"No ones going to fuck with me," she slurred, "they'll be too afraid of my beauty."
I chuckled to myself and followed her inside. The lights were brighter inside than out and it took a moment for our eyes to adjust. The sight of everything stunned her. She giggled out loud, loud enough for a few of the men to turn their heads and stare. She started walking the aisle, touching almost everything and commenting rudely about it. As we came to the dildo aisle she stopped at a very large dildo on display.
"Holy shit," she slurred fondling the 12 inches of latex, "look at the size of this thing, what kind of slut can fit that in her cunt? I mean really, I like a fat cock but this thing is ridiculous.
She continued to fondle the latex cock.
"I can't even get my hand around this cunt crammer, "she continued to slur, "I bet it would hurt like hell going in."
I looked around and she had herself a very captive audience. And like an ADD child, she was off looking at something else.
"What are these for," she slurred loudly.
"They're anal beads," I almost whispered.
"Anal beads, like for your ass," she asked.
"Yes," I chuckled softly, "for your ass."
"But these are so big," she slurred handling a package of 3 inch beads, "I like having my ass played with and all, but damn you wouldn't be able to shit right after shoving these up there."
"Ashley," I interrupted, "we got to get going, I'm tired and I want to go home."
"No," she stomped her foot, "I'm not done yet."
I was getting pissed.
"What's back there," she slurred.
"Peep shows," I answered back.
"Peep shows," she questioned, "what's that?"
"Little booths with porn movies playing in them," I answered hatching a plan.
I knew her next question would be to go see one, and I knew it was a battle I couldn't win.
