It was a small farm, on the side of a hill in the South Wales countryside. Like most places in Wales, it got more than the country's fair share of rain, but when the sun shone, it was such beautiful scenery – it was crying out for something special – something other than a farm.
This story is a combination of true events (I know because I was there) and what I didn't see is a mixture of 3
rd
party conversation between Kate, Steve and I, or a little writer's prerogative.
It starts off a little slow, setting the scene for the weekend's grand opening of 'The Farm', but stick with it...
*****
Steve was bored with farming - early mornings, day in, day out; he struggled to get quality time with his wife of 18 years; at best he'd get a cuddle on the sofa for an hour or so before it was bedtime – early mornings demanded an early night. Steve was feeling like he was missing out on life and now in his early 40s, it was definitely "time to change" he shouted to himself as he parked up his old Ford tractor in the lower barn. Tina, Steve's wife, was also fed up; she had spoken many times of an alternative to the farm but felt that Steve wasn't listening. But Tina loved Steve and supported whatever it was he wanted to do – she was unaware that her words had slowly worked into Steve's subconscious and had finally broken through on the damp dreary muddy day as he parked up the old tractor.
Tina was once a carnival queen, and over the years, she had just got better. Her beautiful face was matched perfectly with a figure that women half her age would die for, and her jet-black hair, naturally curly, hung down her back to her waistline. I had often told Steve that God was looking after him, giving him a wife that could have been serious competition for Sophia Loren if she had live two decades earlier (Tina was often told how closely she resembled Loren in Loren's younger years).
Steve was fairing equally well too, broad shouldered, not an ounce of fat and a mountain of a man standing a full 6'6" tall. Many times over the years I had stood next to him in a bar and the number of women who'd proposition him was more than I could count – he was a good looking hulk and he and Tina made Posh & Becks look like second division players.
"Tina and me, we've been talking, and we've decided to make a big change in our lifestyle" Steve told me over a beer in the local pub. "I've got an idea, not sure if it will work, but there's enough money in the bank to back me up if it fails and if it succeeds then I'm quids in".
Steve's idea was based on a sexy weekend he and Tina had experienced a few summers back. A rare weekend away caravanning in West Wales had turned out to be something they never expected – the caravan site was not one of your regular Caravan Club sites, no, it was a naturist site. They had turned up late in the evening as the dusk light faded, and the rain hammered down. They set up the 'van as best they could and simply shed their wet clothes in favour of their PJs and decided on an early night. The following morning the sun was shining and the warm August sun had brought out their caravan neighbours... all naked as the day they were born. At first Tina wanted to quickly pack up and leave, but after a brief discussion she and Steve decided 'what the hell' and stayed on site, albeit in their swimming kit. After the couple 'next door' had introduced themselves Steve decided to lose his shorts and an hour later, Tina was naked too. Instant naturists and they didn't know they had it in them. They had enjoyed themselves but never shared their weekend story with anyone fearing embarrassment. They revisited the site two more times in as many months and kept it quiet from Kate and me.
That was Steve's master plan - the change in lifestyle – he was going to sell or rent off the majority of his fields to local farms and farmers and convert the two barns and a couple of his fields into a caravan and camping site for naturists.
I almost choked on my beer as he told me his plan; "Bloody hell Steve, if Tina's going to get her kit off regularly I'm gonna be your number one customer!" I blurted out.
Steve knew I had had a crush on Tina in our teens and the crush had always been bubbling under the surface even after he and Tina tied the knot. But I was a happily married man too, and Kate, my wife, was also a stunning lady and several times Steve had commented, and congratulated me, on how I had managed to woo such a beauty with me being such an average guy that most women would walk past without a second glance (thanks Steve). I must admit, Kate was, and is, out of my league, but she saw something in me and we've been happily married for more than 10 years now.
The winter came and went and spring was upon us. Steve and Tina had sold the small number of sheep and cattle and had managed to sell and rent a number of fields. Work had progressed on the new site and a block of showers & toilets were erected. The top barn had been converted into a small bar area and some hot tubs to allow all year round accommodation – somewhere warm for the naturists to play in the winter season.
"You can't have frozen nips and turkey heads now can you?" he told me. I must admit, he spent a few pounds getting the place ready and with a newly tiled (and heated) floor, the top barn was ready. "I'm getting the bottom barn converted into an indoor pool and sauna" he told me "and the builders are starting on that next week".
It was another three weeks before I paid Steve and Tina a visit to see how the project was developing. Kate was with me, her first visit since they had sold the animals, and she was shocked by the change in how the farm was transforming.
"And the bonus" Kate told Tina "is that you can't smell any of the cow manure anymore."
The pool was almost complete apart from the grouting of the tiles. Next to the lower barn was an area set aside with sun loungers as the site was south facing and formed a natural sun trap. With some fresh gravel on the drive and a trim of the grass, the site was just about ready for the council inspections and the buildings to be signed off as fit for use.
It was another month before I got a call from Steve, "Are you and Kate joining us for the grand opening?" The site was ready to receive its first naturists. "Tina and I want you to be our first customers" I almost dropped the phone.
"You're kidding right? Kate would never get her kit off in front of strangers – it's hard enough trying to get her topless on the Costa Kate Sol" I responded.
Steve laughed, "Tina has already spoken to Kate and she said Kate wouldn't miss it for the world".
******
Opening Day. I checked the weather forecast – warm, 23C with occasional cloud, small chance of light rain overnight.
"You ready Kate?" I heard the zip of the suitcase close, moments later she's in the lounge with our weekend case.
"Ready when you are."
We drove over to 'The Farm' (Tina had named their site after its original use) and parked in the small car park next to the farm house. Steve was waiting for us,
"I saw you coming up the drive – CCTV" he pointed to a camera at the top of the drive behind a new security gate.
"That's new" he had to fit the camera and gate before the site could get approval from the council; they didn't want prying eyes into the secluded site.
"It's not right for youngsters to see what might be seen if they get on site" one councillor had said.
Steve took the weekend case and placed it in the hall of the farmhouse. "You won't need much out of this. Come on, Tina's waiting up on the sun terrace".
What Steve hadn't told us was that Tina was entertaining two other couples who were at home soaking up the sun and Steve's homemade sangria. As we turned the corner we were greeted with four strangers sitting naked on loungers, discussing how nice the valley looked in the afternoon sun. Tina was sat with her back to us and as she turned we could see that she too was naked. My heart skipped a beat and felt all fluttery as I took in the sight of her gorgeous body, a site I'd fantasised over for many years.
