A group of worshipers do more on a summertime religious retreat than just pray.
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"Amen."
Here's a summertime story for all those people that receive a hard time from their spouses about spending too much time on the computer reading pornography. By reading my story, not only can you say that you're reading a religious story but also that you're doing a spiritual act by voting me a 5 vote. Amen and God bless you.
"Hallelujah! Blessed it be to God. May Jesus Christ, the Lord Almighty shine down upon you," said Reverend Dick , a Steve Martin look-a-like, to his congregation in a loud enough voice that reached the last pew.
A good man, a holy man, an honorable man, he was a horny man. He looked out upon his worshipers and smiled. Along with some new faces, there were some fine looking women in his house of worship today, mighty fine foxes, yes sir. Praise the Lord for delivering me these fine foxes, he said silently to himself.
"Hallelujah! Glory be to God. I see some new sinners here today and I welcome you to our congregation. Welcome," he said looking at each and every new face and clasped his hands, while smiling and nodding at them.
"Welcome," responded his congregation in unison.
"As most of you know, my lovely wife, Sister Katherine, and I have been taking religious retreats for the past few years each summer," he said looking down at his wife, before looking out upon his congregation. "This year, the dates of the retreat run from August 23rd to August 29th. For those of you who don't know, we have a little cabin, a private oasis, a secluded spot deep in the forest in the Woodcamp Campgrounds, close to the Jackson Meadow Reservoir on route 7, off of route 89. We'd like to invite those who'd like to be alone with nature and to commune with God to join us for a week of peace, love, relaxation, recreation, and rejuvenation. The fee for the week is a nominal $1,000 a couple to cover lodging expenses, which includes all food and beverages. For those who are interested, we have room available enough for six additional couples, besides ourselves."
A man sitting a few pews back raised his hand to speak and the Reverend acknowledged him with a nod of his head and a point of his index finger. The man stood to address the Reverend and the congregation.
"Hi Reverend Dick. I'm John."
"Welcome Brother John," said the Reverend.
"Welcome Brother John" said the congregation in unison.
"My wife, Crystal, and I," he said looking down to smile at his wife. He reached out his hand to have her stand beside him. "We've new to your congregation and have never been on a religious retreat, but would like to attend. Your cabin in the woods sounds just what we've been hoping to find. Wanting to bond with nature and experience all that is good and holy, we seek a more deeply moving experience in our lives. What are the retreats like, Reverend Dick?"
Crystal, very blonde, very beautiful, and very shapely, was just the type of worshiping follower and retreat attendee that the good Reverend was hoping to attract. Her beauty swelled more than his Christian spirit. As would a father innocently do with his daughter, he imagined her on her knees and putting his hand to the back of her head (get your mind out of the gutter), as she prayed.
"Welcome Sister Crystal," he said smiling at John's lovely wife, while thinking, thank you, Jesus, thank you, Jesus, Lord Almighty, thank you, sweet Jesus.
"Welcome Sister Crystal," said the congregation.
"Please allow my wife, Sister Katherine, to answer your question, Brother John. Sister Katherine," said Reverend Dick to his wife. "Would you do me the honor of explaining our religious retreat activities to Brother John and Sister Crystal," he said stepping aside to allow her to take the podium.
Sister Katherine, called Kitty Kat behind closed doors, a Julia Roberts twin, was a bit older but, with softer features and a smaller nose, was prettier than the Academy Award winning actress. She climbed the steps to address the congregation.
"Welcome Brother John. Welcome Sister Crystal. Welcome all new members to our congregation," she said smiling at them both, before looking out to greet all the new members. "It's a week of getting away from your job, your routine, and your children," said Sister Katherine, a bi-sexual, who had love enough for everyone, whether man or woman. "It's a week of solitude to take for yourself and for your religion, while bonding with nature with those in our group and with God."
"Amen," said the congregation.
"I dare say that, since you've never been on a religious retreat, it's a life changing and mind altering experience," said Sister Katherine looking a bit taken with Brother John and his wife Crystal and giving them both a smile and a wink. If she was going to blow them a kiss, this would have not been the best time to do that being that she was in church and about to embark on a religious retreat.
"Hallelujah," responded those, who have experienced one of Reverend Dick's religious retreats.
"Reverend Dick and I feel blessed when we are there and cleansed upon our return," said Sister Katherine. "For truly, it is a deeply moving experience," she said looking from Brother Bob and Sister Crystal to her husband. "Wouldn't you agree Reverend Dick that our religious retreat is a deeply moving experience?"
"Deeply moving," said Reverend Dick, while thinking that deeply moving eight inches was just about right.
"We welcome your participation and we hope you and your wife will join us," said Sister Katherine.
"Yes, the retreat sounds wonderful," said Brother John to Sister Katherine. He smiled at Reverend Dick and put a loving arm around his wife. He looked at his wife and she nodded her head in agreement. "Please add us to the list of attendees."
"Splendid," said Reverend Dick clasping his hands together, as if he was about to fall to his knees and thank God for the arrival of Sister Crystal in his life. Sister Katherine climbed down from the podium and Reverend Dick took center stage again. "I have room for five more couples. The list is posted by the inside front door. Whoever else is interested, I suggest you act fast. With the limited room we have at the cabin, the spaces fill very quickly."
Raymond and Tiffany, a couple who had been taking the religious retreat for several years and who couldn't seem to get enough of bonding with nature, with God, and with one another in the deep forest, were the next couple to sign the list. Tiffany, another tall, striking, busty blonde, looked more like a stripper than she did a holy roller. Especially when coming up from behind her, looks can be deceiving when a beautiful woman is on her knees. It's difficult to tell if she's kneeling before a holy man and praying to God or kneeing before a lucky man and sucking his cock. Amen.