Sorry for delivering this chapter a bit late but there have been a series of issues of which your narrator has had to deal. Thank you for all the emails and inquiries, I hope you enjoy the latest chapter and I promise to deliver more sooner.
------------------------------------------------
We arose early and hit the road as quickly as we could. We noticed that Denis and Carla pulled out just before we did.
"Amy, I have learned an important lesson on this trip."
"And that is?
"And that is that nearly every RVer is a horny bastard."
"I'm beginning to see that - us included."
"Yeah, and my research is telling me that most are bisexual or curious. It's a whole secret subculture out there."
"Could be. I know I enjoyed last night. That was the first time I ever turned someone out and I took pleasure in it. She did a great job on me and we broke in her husband, too. Chalk up two more honey toads into the subculture." She searched the iPod.
"Give me your dirty love,
Like you might surrender to some dragon in your dreams.
Give me your dirty love,
Like a pink donation to the dragon in your dreams...
...The poodle bites! (come on, frenchie)
The poodle chews it! (snap it!)
The poodle bites! (come on, frenchie)
The poodle chews it! (snap it!)"
"Fucking Zappa always cracks me up! Poodle bites! What a sense of humor!"
It took several hours to get to the Skywalk and although not that far away, it was an indirect route over some snarky roads. But both of us wanted to do this and, like the rest of our trip, it was a case of what-the-hell-where-to-next. And I can tell you that we did it and we sent out postcards to prove it. It was an expensive ticket but the thrill of standing above the canyon and looking down was un-fucking-real. Amy grasped my hand tightly as we slowly strode around the big "U" shaped glass path overhanging the cliff. When we reached the center, we felt as though we were floating in space and it was a very cool experience. I suggested that maybe we should build one off the edge of the secret mountain lodge. Amy thought it unnecessary since all we had to do was have sex by the window and we were soaring. I nodded in complete agreement.
After walking Santo (and by the way, he doesn't care much for cliffs, canyons nor precipices - he likes the view but not the edge), we headed south to Peach Springs in order to pick up Route 66 to Kingman. Route 66 was like a road to nowhere that goes on forever. Sure, we passed some arcane gas stations and lots of interesting desert terrain, and a line of mail boxes that ran for a mile but it was fairly boring. Most of it looked like the Pixar film, Cars, only not as colorful until we approached Kingman. We stopped to take a picture of Amy standing by a big Route 66 sign. We stopped at a silly looking building and bought some Route 66 chachkes - key chains, a roach clip, a couple of t-shirts and some other crap that I can't remember but we seemed to be filling up a junk drawer in the trailer.
Catching 95 South to Lake Havasu City was a pretty fast trip. We parked near a good view of London Bridge and had lunch - the last of our refrigerated cache of Aspen's culinary delights. Santo liked this place and was more comfortable walking lakeside rather than precipice-side.
It would take us all afternoon to get to Palm Springs but that was our next stop. As we traveled through Havasu, Amy had a great Wi-Fi connection. I asked her to find an RV dealer in Palm Springs to have the trailer cleaned, lubed and tweaked while we were at the spa. She found a place and gave them a call. A few minutes later, she told me that everything was set; tomorrow, the dealership would meet me at the spa and take the trailer in exchange for a car. It sounded good to me.
"That works for me, A. I'm sure it costs a bit more for all the service, but I feel like pissing some away. You know, what the fuck, it's only a buck!"
"Davy, baby, don't worry about money, okay? We're both on this trip together and we're also both loaded, so who fucking cares. As I see it, we've saved a ton of money so far - and we bypassed Vegas!"
"God, do I hate Las Vegas - unless, of course, they book me there."
"I hate Las Vegas, too. I've never been there and don't ever want to go. I just hate the idea of it - so ersatz. It's creepy to me."
Havasu to I-10 was not that hard a ride and before long, we were passing Joshua Tree State Park. In honor of Gram Parsons, I pulled over and we sang "Hickory Wind", "Hot Burrito #2", and "Wild Horses." Santo did his business (symbolically, he put out Gram's immolation) and having fulfilled my mission to pay my respects, it was a jaunt up to The Rancho in Desert Hot Springs and the temporary end of our road for a few days.
We were greeted by several doormen who helped us unload our stuff. While we left a lot in the trailer, there were other items (computer, guitar, dog and food, etc.) we took with us. We checked in and were led to our suite, the best one in the place. This suite had a large second floor terrace with an interior daybed overlooking the facility, the gardens and the mountains. It was late at night by the time we checked in and the sky was breathtakingly covered in stars.
This resort was very luxurious, to say the least. It was highly recommended by Hotels.com and The New York Times and other travel and tourism sites and magazines. On our way to the suite, we passed several nude couples and we smiled at each other. The valet informed us that the pool and hot tub were open and, if we liked, we could stroll the gardens. We flopped on the king sized bed and stretched out. Santo found the couch to his liking. I set out his bowls and rinsed myself off in the huge multi-headed shower. Amy joined me and suggested we go for a dip and a tub to unwind. I agreed after smoking one of the half-joints we'd clinched.
Leaving Santo in the room was not a problem as he was stretched out and snoring away. Amy and I draped ourselves in the complimentary robes and sandals and left to reconnoiter. We walked through the desert gardens and marveled at the sky. We passed several nude couples and soon our robes were untied and, like us, hanging loose. The cool, dry night air felt good. We passed another couple sitting on a small platform doing the deed. At first, I took little notice but when Amy whispered that it was a well-known TV actress, I did a double-take. Damn, if she wasn't fine! I should start watching more TV! Not!
We made it over to the pool and took a few laps. There were a few other people in the pool and a very friendly attitude seemed pervasive. The hot tub was next and it removed any residual driving stress I might have been feeling. Finally, it was off to bed - a super king-sized bed with lots of room to roll around! Santo liked the bed, too, because, in the morning, he was down on the bottom, under our feet.
Breakfast and coffee were delivered as I was preparing to walk Santo. The Room Service valet offered to have someone come by to walk him for us. A few minutes later, a pretty woman came for him and introduced herself as Callie. She offered to stop by several times a day to take him out. When she returned from her walk, she asked if she could keep Santo with her and her own dog during the day. She explained that they really liked each other and it would be no big deal, that her dog would love the company and that the hotel had a private dog run to play in, with a shaded and watered area. I told her that I would bring Santo down to her office and we would check it out. Amy said that she would meet me at the spa as we had a massage appointment.
Enrobed, I walked Santo down to the main office. It seems that our dog walker was the daughter-in-law of the spa owners and they had built the dog facilities for their own pets. Callie, who actually ran the resort, was very gracious and welcoming to Santo who was busy sniffing her dog, Roxy. The dog run was as luxurious as the rest of the place with lots of shade and I agreed to let him stay there. He didn't even notice me leaving.
I met Amy at the spa entrance where she was in conversation with two other couples. Amy's robe was loose but they were nude and well-oiled. Breaking from them, we walked in.
"They said that our Tandem Massage will be awesome."
"Tandem massage?"
"Yes, we're both getting massaged together. And then after that, we have a yoga class and then lunch and then you can suntan and lay around while I get waxed. This stubble is starting to itch and bother me. I think I'll get rid of the landing strip, too.
"Ok, baby, lead me on. You know, I thought I had a rash on my face but now I realize what it was."