"Un-fucking-believable," I said in a low disgruntled tone as I hung up the phone. My pet just looked at me inquisitively, waiting for me to explain. She knew I was annoyed even before my remark, as 2AM phone calls tend to do that to me.
My look seemed to communicate the problem to her before I even spoke, "Julie and Mike again?"
"Yes, again, why they cannot learn to work these things out without involving a mediator is beyond me. You would think two adults could at least talk out their problems without this bullshit every weekend."
"Are you going over there?"
"Yeah, I would rather wait until tomorrow but apparently Julie went a little off the deep end and Mike is bleeding and threatening to call the cops."
"Should I wait up for you?"
"Yeah, actually, I you should. I may have an idea to put an end to this so don't be surprised if the phone rings and I need your help."
Again, she looked at me like she was trying to solve a puzzle but she just nodded and got up to start a shower. Heh, even at 2AM she insisted on looking clean and fresh if there was a possibility of being in front of other people.
I slipped on some sweats and made my way over to the neighbor's house, the source of my aggravation for the evening. We had all been together for most of the evening, dinner, drinks, and an unexciting card game that left us fairly bored. We enjoyed these evenings with Mike and Julie for some reason. They were an interesting couple, always baiting each other into little arguments when they had an audience. They even tried cheating at the card game tonight just to annoy each other. My wife and I found it amusing yet sad at the same time. We had talked about their relationship quite a bit and had hoped that we could somehow help them see how much they truly loved each other so they could get past the silly mind games that should have ended long before they got married. Naïve of us to think this way I guess, but we liked them individually and considered them to be friends, so naturally we wanted to help but had tried to be careful of sticking our noses where they didn't belong. Not that we really needed to be concerned about that, since it had become routine to receive these late night phone calls to help referee their childish spats for the past couple of weekends. All the same, I was growing tired of being involved in their games when I should be having great sex with my pet and it was compounded by the fact that nothing we tried seemed to help them move on to enjoying each other instead of constantly looking re-engage each other on a psychological battlefield.
I was a little surprised when Julie answered the door. First, Mike always answers, and second, she was standing there red-faced, wearing nothing more than a nightshirt and panties. She was the one who actually called, so she knew I was on my way over and I would have anticipated she would at least put some sweat pants on. God she was sexy. Her flush face and heavy breathing told me her senses were on full alert after whatever had just taken place between her and Mike and it just came across as primal. Overcoming my initial shock, I made my way in the house and lightly squeezed her arm, hoping to give her reassurance that everything would be ok. I then noticed Mike standing in the opening of the sliding glass door that lead out to the patio. His shirt was stained with blood that had made it's way unwillingly from his nose and mouth and it was much more of a scene than I had envisioned from the conversation I had with Julie on the phone. I honestly thought she was over-selling the bloody mess she had described, as she tends to exaggerate a bit, but no, Mike was truly messed up. He stood there smoking a cigarette and looking at me hopelessly as if to say, "What the hell am I supposed to do?" I could see the embarrassment on his face and I tried to be casual about things when I asked him if he was ok. He just shrugged and chuckled as he said, "Not really, but I'm sure I will be." That was Mike for you, evening when standing there in front of his friend with blood drying on his shirt from his wife's tirade, he still managed to stay positive. I knew it was driving him crazy though and I asked Julie if she would mind giving us a minute alone.
Julie shrugged and stomped off muttering something about typical male tag-teaming on a woman, blah, blah, blah… I ignored her for the moment, as I wanted to hear Mike's version of what went on before I talked with Julie. Mike tried to be casual about the whole thing and explained that it was just an argument that got out of hand and the next think he knew, Julie was lunging toward him with fist flying. Before he could put up a guard, she had connected with his nose straight on and managed to scrape his lip pretty good with that huge rock on her finger. He confided that he was concerned about going to sleep with his wife still in the house and he had given her a choice of calling the police or me. I thought this a little melodramatic but tried not to let on. Deciding she'd rather air their dirty laundry with a friend instead of the whole neighborhood, Julie called me and here we all stand, trying to figure out what to do next. He apologized for waking me and told me how embarrassed he was for me to see him this way. I just told him not to worry about it, things could always be worse. We both sort of grinned when I said that because neither of us could really imagine how they could be, but it at least broke the tension a little.
I told Mike to have a seat in the living room and I would go find Julie, "Then we'll sit down and talk this thing out and find out what it is that has the two of you at odds all of the time."
I found Julie in the kitchen, fixing herself a drink. "Hey, got one of those for me?" She just sneered at me and pointed to the bottle on the counter. Guess I was supposed to help myself. I gently grabbed her arm and bent down to look into her eyes. I said, "I'm really not here to take sides you know." She sort of made a face of acknowledgement and started to fix a drink for me as if to apologize. As she handed me the glass, I sat it down and reached out to hug her, again, trying to offer her reassurance that I was there as a friend to both of them and not looking to take sides. I was reminded of how she was dressed as I could feel her heat through the thin fabric of her nightshirt. This girl was still jacked from attacking her husband and there was no way a drink was going to calm her down. I held her at her shoulders and looked into her eyes as I asked her if she was ready to sit down and talk this out. She sighed and nodded and reached for the drinks again. I mentioned that she would be taking a good first step if she were to bring one for Mike as well. She grunted at snickered a little but nonetheless, she filled a third glass to take in for her battered husband. I knew this was going to be a long night, as she still had not spoken to me since the phone call.
We found Mike waiting for us in the living room with his hands pressed to his cheeks, trying to figure out how he had managed to find himself in this kind of mess again. I should explain that Julie is Mike's second wife and his first marriage ended in much the same fashion this one was heading. Constant arguments that culminated in his wife attacking him and finally, it was too much for both of them and they filed for divorce. Having gone through it once, Mike was desperate to find a way to make this relationship work and I knew it from other conversations we had and the events of the past few weekends. The frustrating thing for me as their friend was, I could tell that these two desperately loved each other, they just could not find it in themselves to show respect for one another and it always lead to problems. The crux of the problem seemed to me to be that Mike just could not put his foot down without putting it in his mouth. The arguments they had in front of me were always one sided with Julie shouting and Mike trying to appease her. The funny thing was, Mike would start most of them by doing and saying things that would play on Julie's insecurities. He would point out every flaw in a condescending way and try to make her feel intellectually inferior to everyone else in the room. Julie would respond the only way she knew how, with anger that had now risen to the point of violence. I had tried to point this out to Mike but he seemed to be oblivious to his own actions and just did not understand how, even if I was right, it justified Julie coming at him with such venom. Julie on the other hand, could not bring herself to listen to my previous advice of ignoring Mike's stupid comments and responding with loving actions instead of anger. No, neither of them was willing to give an inch and I was not in an enviable position to say the least.
