I guided Michael's hand as the mouse hovered over the "Stream" button. He sat on a chair while I stood hunched over behind him. I leaned over his shoulder granting me opportunity to savor in his scent. That unexplainable musky scent men have that makes me want to bend over for them.
"Oh, okay I get it now," he said proudly. We turned to each other and for a moment our eyes locked. His dark brown eyes seemed to brighten as the light made it glisten. They moved down to my lips for a second then blinked back to me. I take a gulp wanting no more than to dive into a kiss with him.
"Okay, enough of that." I gently touch his face and turned him back to the screen. His eyes showed a hint of disappointment but then chuckled a bit. I casually looked around as if trying to relax my neck.
We were positioned at the very back of a computer shop. It was still quite early so nobody was around except for a few who have probably stayed all night playing online games. The initial three rows of computers in front of us had no one while the next one up front had two. They wouldn't be able to see if we did something. However, on our row there's someone beside us.
I didn't recognize the guy, I craned my neck to see what he was doing. His monitor displayed three windows of google chrome. Though I could see at the tab there were four. One is at the top left, another ate the half right of the screen and another small one is at the bottom left. That last one caught my attention, it was definitely pornhub. It's then I noticed the guy's right hand moving up and down his pants while his left scrolled the mouse. Someone entered the shop and walked all the way to the back; towards the guy beside us. When he realized someone's coming, he awkwardly scrolled the mouse and clicked the fourth window from the tab which covered the pornhub window.
What an amateur, I thought. If his friend decided to listen on the headphones, he will be caught immediately. One hover at the tabs and the pornhub window will present itself. What he should've done instead was—
"Jason?" I started as I felt a tug on my shirt.
"Oh yeah, I'm sorry," I said stifling a laugh.
"What're you looking at there?" Mike whispered catching on to me.
"I'll tell you later," I guided his hand again and taught him how to record while streaming.
"Are you planning to record a sex tape?"
"Maybe."
"Who would you be with?" A hint of mixed feelings seeped through his voice. Uncertainty, curiousity and...jealousy?
I just shot him a knowing look. We've gotten close ever since that night. We fell onto a deep kiss all the way home. I remember the stark contrast between the cold wind brushing against us and our warm bodies grinding against each other. After that, he always asked me to hang out somewhere and treated me to various food chains. I'm not picky, I could settle for even a simple chips and soft drinks. My family could afford things his could never even dream of but I never wanted to be buried in riches. I liked money, who doesn't? But that doesn't mean I don't want to live simple. I appreciated everything he did, especially the simple ones like making sure my shirt looked decent, teaching me safe routes I could take if I came home very late and genuinely telling me to be safe before going to school. He never really told me how he really felt about me except for that night when he just exclaimed it.
For months, it was just that. No sex. Just casually hanging out and maybe the occasional kissing.
Do I really need him to say those three words again? Maybe these acts are his way of showing that what he said was real. For months, it was just that. No sex. Just casually hanging out and maybe the occasional kissing.
If so then I'm worried.
Of course, I didn't let him do all of the work. I treat him as much as he does me. I tried to do the things he does to me, to him. On an outer perspective, one would see us as just best friends being sweet with each other. We really didn't look like the stereotypical queer as shown in TV. It made me sad to realize how many people are in hiding, afraid of what people might think if they opened up their feelings.
"You never told me why your dad called you home all those months ago," Mike said, failing to mask the bitterness in his voice. "I was worried, y'know? You were gone for two weeks."
Why? Why were you even thinking of me?
"He just wanted me to help in our business." I darted my eyes away.
"You're lying," Mike stood. The monitor dimmed. I didn't notice our time was up. "I always buy parts from your store and you're never there. He told you about Alan?"
"Yeah." He caught me. "Actually he was there when I arrived."
"Are you kidding me?"
"I wish I am. He was doing it with dad." That alone did not bother me. What bothered me was the fact that our livelihood could be swept away in just one click—and that didn't depend on me or my family. We walked outside the shop.
"Shit. I-I mean, yeah I initially told you about him...sorta," Mike stuttered, taking a breath before continuing. "I just didn't expect him to make an appearance."
"How did you know about him anyway?"
"Well, when I dropped out, my ma kicked me out so I'm forced to find a job." I looked at him and that sad look I saw from him at that night. It's as if his burning fire of proudness of discovering how to stream a video was smothered in an instant. "I asked around and my cousins taught me to drive the pedicab. However, I didn't have enough money to buy my own. I was too humiliated to stay at my relatives so after I accepted the owner's offer to loan me a pedicab, I then looked around for a place to stay."
"And you found Alan," I chimed in. We stopped at a bakery shop, I bought some spanish bread and separated some to give him. We then continued our walk.
"Thanks," he gave me that smile that slowly grew on me. "But Alan found me. He offered to buy me a pedicab and let me stay in his house for as long as I wanted in exchange for..."
"You don't have to say it."
