Coalescence

*Author's note- This is the fourth installment of the Goddess series. This chapter will make more sense and be much more meaningful if you read the previous Goddess stories—

Goddess

,

Leaving Heaven Behind,

and

Gladiators

—first.

I allowed Jeff to carry me all the way up the stairs to their dorm room, but had him put me down as Mark unlocked the door. I felt silly. I had no idea what they could possibly show me that would make me feel better or less embarrassed, but I was glad they were speaking to me again. I was also relieved to be out of my room, away from the tiny shards of my beloved mask that littered the floor.

Mark ushered us in and shut the door and we all just...stood there.

I didn't want to say anything. One: I was afraid of reminding them they were upset with me, and two: I didn't want to try and answer questions about Vegas. There was no way I could make that night sound any more coherent in their room than I had downstairs in mine. At this point, I felt certain I'd made it a much more poignant memory than it actually had been; it simply wasn't possible that it was as amazing as I kept remembering it to be.

Mark and Jeff looked at me, then at each other, then at me again, fidgeting and pacing as much as they could in the small space. Mark would open his mouth, look at the two of us, and then immediately shut it again. A few seconds later Jeff would do the same; it was getting weird. When I finally felt like I had my emotions under control, I cleared my throat.

"Well? What did you want to show me?"

They looked at each other again, a loaded stare that I'd seen between them before—usually out of the corner of my eye. Mark sighed and nodded, and Jeff retrieved something from the dresser between their beds. Without turning around, Jeff said,

"We didn't know how to tell you, especially once we thought you regretted it."

He stood with his back to me for another beat, then turned to me, handing me a piece of paper. Wait, no—a note. A note with Caesar's Palace letterhead. My stomach dropped into my shoes.

Oh my god...

I couldn't look away from the note, from the way it was puckered at the top with juices—my juices—that were long dry. The events of that wild masquerade night in Vegas flashed before my eyes. Prancing around in public while practically naked. Propositioning strangers. Letting two complete strangers fondle me and lick me and fuck me

at the same time

. My pussy was wet with the memories even as my face burned with humiliation and shame and...and I didn't even know what else.

How could this be here? How did they get it? How much did they know?

I anxiously looked up at Mark and Jeff, my eyes wide. Theirs were tense. My voice was small, but I was amazed that I could speak at all.

"Oh my god. How did you...where did you get this?"

Jeff gave me an exasperated look. Mark gnawed on his bottom lip and it finally clicked. His short, blonde hair notwithstanding, I was looking at the dark haired gladiator. One of two that had made me so wet with a stare across the dance floor. The one that had bitten his lip just. like. that.

I looked back and forth between the two of them and wondered how I'd been so goddamn stupid.

Blue hair? Shaved heads? I'm a fucking moron.

The note clutched in one hand and the mask fragment in the other, I put my fingers into my hair and clenched my eyes tight, my face on fire. The actions of our night together burned incessantly behind my closed lids. These men—my best friends!—had not only seen me naked, but had touched and licked my entire body, and fucked me every way conceivable.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god! Oh my god! OH MY GOD!!!"

Hands still intertwined through my hair, I opened my eyes.

"Did you know it was me?"

Jeff gestured toward the note as if to say,

well, yeah

...I gripped my hair tighter and shook my head.

"I mean, obviously you know now, but

when

did you know it was me?"

Mark and Jeff looked at each other before they looked back at me, their eyes pleading.

"Uh...we recognized you at the bar, but...uh...we went there looking for you, Sara."

As the words left Jeff's mouth, I could better identify the other emotions that were making me burn now—betrayal and anger. My hands balled at my sides, the mask fragment cutting into one hand, the note crumpled in the other.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME??? How did you even know I was going to be there???"

They looked at each other uncomfortably. Jeff mumbled something about seeing something on my computer, but I wouldn't let him finish.

"So what? You followed me all the way to Vegas for what? To throw me a pity fuck???"

I was furious. The anger that had been directed downstairs at Michelle was nothing compared to what I was feeling towards the men I'd considered my closest friends. The fact that my nipples were achingly hard and my groin was throbbing from being so close to them only served to fuel my fury.

"You think I'm so pathetic that I couldn't get laid at a literal orgy???"

I don't know how I expected to react when I'd hoped to learn the identities of my gladiators, but it wasn't this, and every hypothetical conversation I'd had in my head that night had not prepared me for it. At all. The humiliation was crushing.

"DID YOU THINK THIS WAS FUNNY???"

Both Mark and Jeff stood staring at me like the proverbial deer in the headlights, and it made me all the more furious. How could they not expect this? Not see that their lack of faith in me as a woman would be construed as hurtful? And damn, it fucking

hurt

. The most incredible lovers in my life had only been there because they thought...what? That I was piteous? A joke? My voice fell into a harsh whisper.

"You fucks sat in my bed and

taunted

me. You knew, and you fucking

taunted

me. Did you come back here and have a good laugh about it?"

"No! No, Sara, not at all! It wasn't like that!"

"Really, Jeff? What was it like, then?"

I was so mad that I could see he was afraid to answer. I covered my face with my hands, the piece of mask poking between the thumb and forefinger of one hand, the note poking out of the other.

"Oh my god. Oh my god! I can't believe you saw me like that!"

My hands moved from my face to rake through my hair, and I started pacing in a tight circle, my stomach in knots.

Jeff reached out a hand to my shoulder to stop me, plucking the note from my fingers.

"Sara, look!

You

wrote this,"

The puckered note mocked me, and I felt my face burning an even deeper shade of red.

"But it was the best night of our lives, too!"

He looked at Mark. All Mark could do was nod mutely, but I saw it. Jeff turned back, hoping I'd calmed down, but his words didn't register with me and I was as mad as ever. I pushed his hand off of my shoulder and shook my head. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep humiliation from boiling over into tears as I had another epiphany.

"Of course you knew it was me. Your hair. You both cut and dyed your fucking

hair

to disguise yourselves? Why would you do that to me? What made that seem like such a great joke???"

"We weren't trying to trick you, Sara, we were trying to..."

"To what, Jeff? To WHAT?"

Despite my uglier emotions, the thought of either of them wanting me in the ways they'd taken me in Vegas immediately made me sopping wet. I shifted my legs and tried to not let it distract me.

"We tried to take off the masks, you wouldn't let us..."

I immediately tensed, the surge in anger over Jeff trying to shift the blame of this onto me, even partially, burning away any threat of tears. The unbidden arousal wasn't so easily dismissed.

"Why, when I went somewhere that I obviously wanted privacy and anonymity, would you actively search me out? In a different state? In fucking

disguises

? Weren't there enough willing women there that night? Or was my humiliation part of your thrill?"

I was starting to see anger reflected back in Jeff's sapphire eyes. Mark looked hurt.

"How could you possibly think those things about either of us, Sara?"

I spun toward Mark to respond, but Jeff cut me off, his tone much less apologetic.

"Listen, damn it! We were trying to approach you in a way that wouldn't completely derail our friendship if you weren't interested."

I threw my head back with a sarcastic guffaw. The thought that these two gorgeous men could be intimidated by me was ludicrous.

"Yeah, sure.

You two

were afraid to approach

me

. That is some grade-A horse shit, Jeff. If you're looking for an acceptable excuse, keep looking."

I'd had enough, and I turned for the door.

"Good god, Sara! We didn't say anything because we're in love with you!"

I'd like to say silence fell, but that would be an understatement to the nth degree. Silence jumped out of an airplane, its parachute didn't open, and it plummeted through the center of the earth.

None of us spoke for what felt like an eternity. I was the first to break the heavy silence, my voice a whisper as I faced them again.

"What...I'm...what? What are you talking about? I'm not even your type. You both like tall, leggy blondes...and redheads..."

"Yeah, well, you've kind of spoiled curvy brunettes for us, Sara. But do you really think any brunette

or

blonde

or

redhead could measure up to you?"

I just stared, my gaze moving slowly between the two of them. My mouth was closed, but my jaw didn't feel like it was going to snap anymore, so there was that. Mark took the opportunity to try and explain.

"Sara, you know we'd do anything for you. You mean a lot to us. And Jeff's right, I...we..."

He swallowed hard.

"We're in love with you. We just didn't know how to tell you without ruining everything that we had together."

I was listening, so he kept talking.

"We saw your plans for the trip, and he,"

Mark looked at Jeff.

"

We

thought that if we went there and approached you as strangers, you could make a choice between the two of us without feeling pressured because it was us. And if you didn't choose us, we didn't have to lose our friendship. Lose you."

I stood with my hand on the doorknob, dumbfounded. They're in

love

with me? They had both said it, but I couldn't process it. First they're my best friends, then they won't talk to me, and now they're telling me they drove hundreds of miles and changed their appearances in hopes of seducing me? Forget hope, they gave me more orgasms that night than every other lover I'd ever had combined! How was I supposed to respond to this?

"You're...in love with me?"

Mark nodded.

"And you're in love? With me?"

Jeff shrugged and nodded as well.

"And you wanted me to choose one of you?"

They both nodded, solemnly.

I thought my head was going to explode. I opened the door.

"I need to think."

I slipped out before either of them could say anything, closing it behind me and leaning against the doorframe, praying I could get my head together before either of them came looking for me.

The images flashing behind my closed eyes this time were a montage of the three of us over the past couple of years—studying, watching movies, laughing. It was always the three of us.

Always.

My thoughts turned to Vegas, and the three of us together that night, too, the masked strangers' faces replaced with the men waiting for me on the other side of the wall. My entire body burned.

How could I possibly choose one over the other? And yet, there was no going back, either. There was no way those innocent times could occur knowing how they'd made me feel, and what they knew I was capable of, and how they really felt—although that last point still seemed unimaginable.

I had an impossible choice to make, but it

had

to be made. I took a deep breath and hoped I was making the right one. Opening the door, I stepped inside, leaning against it as it closed softly. Neither Jeff nor Mark had moved at all, despite the fact I felt as though I'd been in the hall for hours.

I looked back and forth between them, then focused on Jeff. His dark hair was growing back, roughly the length of a crew cut. I took a step towards him, but he wasn't the Dark-Hair I was looking for just yet.

"Wait,"

I abruptly turned to Mark.

"You had the dark hair that night."

His voice was hushed.

"Yeah."

"Kiss me." I whispered.

He looked concernedly at Jeff, then stepped forward, taking my face in his strong hands and angling it up toward his. He bent his head low and hesitated for a split-second, his full lips grazing mine before pressing against them sweetly. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be kissed, my mind still reeling.

My gladiator is kissing me! No, Mark is kissing me!

Mark!

He pulled away, and I opened my eyes to his questioning gaze, his hands still on my face. It was great, but it wasn't what I wanted. I took a deep breath.

"I said,

kiss me

." I licked my lips. "Pretend I'm the goddess."

Mark's eyes widened, then sparked, the fire inside familiar to me even if I couldn't yet truly reconcile the fact that those dark eyes belonged to my Dark-Hair. His hands flew from my face to my backside, where he picked me up until we were eye-level, his hard body pressing me against the wall. I had little choice but to wrap my arms and legs around him as I gasped in surprise.

"I'm not pretending anything," his voice was a low growl. "You are a goddess."

One of his hands slid to my neck and curled in my hair as he crushed his lips against mine, his tongue hot in my mouth. I melted into his firm body.

This

was the kind of kiss I was hoping for, the kind of kiss he'd first given me on the dancefloor in Vegas. The kind of kiss I was afraid I'd never experience again.

I threw myself into him, meeting his passion. With every thrust of his tongue, I felt my disbelief diminishing, felt the goddess returning. His cock swelled, pressing against the inside of my thigh and making me moan into his mouth. My eyes fluttered open just in time to see Jeff storming to the door, pointedly not looking at us. I pulled a hand away from Mark to clumsily grab a handful of Jeff's shirt, my knuckles grazing the firm ab muscles beneath. He stopped reluctantly, his hand on the doorknob. I tore away from Mark's lips and breathlessly asked Jeff,

"Where are you going?"

He stared at the doorknob, his voice low.

"You two obviously need some space."

I pulled the fabric in my hand tighter, forcing him to meet my eyes as my fist slid further up his muscular torso.

"How many times do I need to tell you, Blondie? I need both of you."

The relief in his face was so desperate that I thought he was going to cry. He allowed me to pull him in for a kiss no less passionate than the one I'd been sharing with Mark, who watched on with a huge grin before biting gently at my neck.

I wasn't sure if I was actually awake or not; either way, I was in heaven. Jeff's hand had moved under my shirt over my ribs, and his touch was fire. Mark's burning hand moved up the other side cupping a breast and stroking my nipple with his thumb. In tandem, they pulled my shirt over my head, and theirs hit the floor without my feet touching the ground. The heat of their skin against mine sent my mind reeling. Mark and Jeff, Jeff and Mark, my gladiators! How was this really happening???

Then reality hit me hard. This was

Mark

and

Jeff

,

Jeff

and

Mark

, my best friends. Never in my wildest fantasies had they ever played a part of anything sexual. Not because they weren't gorgeous—because god in heaven, they were

exquisite

—but because I loved them so much it would have hurt to pretend they were attracted to me when I was so certain they would never be. I had at no time considered the idea they'd harbor romantic feelings towards me, but I knew in the back of my mind that if either of them had wanted a relationship, I'd jump on it in a heartbeat.

So here, now, in the dorm room where we'd spent countless hours together in comfortable amiability, they both told me they not only wanted me, but that they both loved me. Both.

Fuck.

There was no question that the three of us were fucking

magical

in bed, but how was a three-way

relationship

supposed to work? How did this end without someone getting hurt? And how could I possibly do that to either of them?

I tore my mouth away from Mark.

"Wait...wait..."

Jeff ignored my breathy words and captured my mouth, sucking my tongue into his and eliciting a deep moan. It almost made me forget my concerns. Almost. I pushed him away.

"Wait!"

Both men pulled their faces from my body, but kept me in their arms. My breathing was ragged.

"We can't do this...we..."

Jeff wound a strong hand through my hair and gently but firmly made me look at him.

"Stop right there, Sara. I know exactly where you're going with this, and I'm telling you to stop. Stop over-thinking, just for now. Just for right now, let this happen. This needs to happen. We need this to happen."

I opened my mouth to weakly object when Mark's throaty voice silenced me, his soft lips grazing my ear and making me shiver.

"This is going to happen, and we're going to do everything and anything that feels good."

Oh god, he was turning my own words against me. I felt my resolve slipping. Jeff picked up on it right away, brushing his own soft lips against my other ear. They had no idea how close I was to coming from that contact alone.

"Because now we're going to kiss,"

"And play,"

"And touch,"

"And suck,"

"And fuck."

"Of course, if you really do want us to stop, say so, and we will."

At that, Jeff stuck his hot tongue in my ear and any resistance that may have been lingering was shattered. I didn't want to stop. I never wanted to stop. I wanted to stay naked in this dorm room for the rest of my life giving and receiving ridiculous amounts of orgasms between these Greek gods.

"Please, put me down."

They pulled their mouths from me, and I could hear the disappointment in Mark's low voice.

"Sara..."

"Please, you have to. I can't take your pants off from here."

"Arrrgh!"

He laughed and swung me onto his bed, narrowly avoiding hitting my head on the wall; their dorm room definitely did not allow for king-size play like Caesar's had.

"Oh, Jesus! Sara, are you okay???"

I could only laugh.

"Yes! Missed it by that much."

Jeff piped in with his movie quote voice.

"I think we're going to need a bigger bed."

I laughed again as I crawled to my knees and pulled them towards me by the waists of their jeans.

"This will work fine for now."

Their hands overtook mine, stripping off their jeans, leaving two enormous, boxer-clad cocks pointed directly at my face. I reached to take them in my hands, but they each grabbed a wrist and restrained me as much with their hands as with their lustful gazes.

"Give us a minute to worship you first, Sara."

Sara

.

My name had never made me wet before, but coming from Mark's mouth right now, it made me gush. Jeff laid me down on the bed, kissing me deeply while Mark released my wrist to undo my jeans. I wiggled my hips to help him peel them off, grateful that the lavender bra and panties I'd chosen that day were in good shape.

Jeff's taut chest was pressed against mine as he knelt beside the bed and caressed my stomach and lace-clad breasts, moving his mouth across my mouth and neck and cleavage and back again. Mark climbed between my legs, running his hands over my calves and thighs, his strong fingers making their way to the damp lace between my legs.