Coach's Cutie - Chapter 8: Propositioning Mad Dog
Poor Maddie. She must feel terrible. And the worst part is, none of this is her fault.
Me (gathering the rest of her clothes as she finishes putting her bra and underwear back on): "Here you go... Are you okay?"
Maddie (still looking so apologetic): "I am so, so sorry for saying that. I wasn't thinking."
Me (abruptly): "No. Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. If Greg was in his right mind, he would've known right away that you were joking. It's not your fault."
Me (putting my hand on Maddie's shoulder): "But here, why don't you finish getting dressed. I'm gonna go talk to Coach, and then I'll be right back out."
Maddie (softly): "Okay."
Fuck. I still can't believe Greg reacted like he did. Sure, it's fine to have been a little alarmed when Maddie mentioned how she was going to tell all her friends about this, but it was so obviously a joke!
We could've just calmly clarified that, but instead my boyfriend had to go storming off in one giant, huffy panic. And now as a result, he's probably traumatized this sweet, little 18-year-old girl for life.
I head on into my bedroom to asses the situation. As I open the door, I see Greg sitting here on the bed, so I walk in and mostly close the door behind me.
Me (approaching Greg who has his head down): "Hey, you really sh..."
Greg (interrupting): "You need to fix this."
Me: (trying to be reassuring): "Yeah, it's fine. Maddie already said th..."
Greg (again, not letting me finish): "This is all your fault. I wasn't the one who wanted to do this in the first place."
Me (hitting my limit on taking this shit from him): "Woah, woah, woah... Let's get one thing straight here. Yeah, I was excited to see this happen. Just as excited as you were. But I didn't make you do anything."
Me (scream whispering, because I'm super pissed, but also worried about Maddie hearing us): "I certainly didn't make you eat that girl's pussy, despite the fact that she's a goddamn student at your school, let alone a player on your fucking basketball team!"
Me (after Greg doesn't say anything in response): "Is that clear?"
Greg (somberly): "Yeah, I know."
Me (feeling calmer after getting that off my chest): "Okay. Good. Now I'm going to go out there and walk Maddie out to her car, but I will make sure. Once again. That she understands how important it is that she doesn't say a word about this."
Greg (somewhat pathetically): "Thanks."
Greg (as I turn to leave the bedroom): "She probably should find another way home other than driving though... since she had that wine you gave her."
The fuck?! Even that sounds accusatory, like it's my fault I was the one who gave her the wine?! Is he being serious here??
And of all the things to be worried about right now, that's what he's fucking concerned about?!? Maddie had two modest glasses of wine over the course of like two-and-a-half hours! There's no way she's too drunk to drive. And yeah, I get it Greg. You really don't like drunk drivers because they killed your dead fucking wife, but have some goddamn perspective here.
Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with him? Anyway, this isn't worth fighting back on right now, but fuck him.
Me (dismissively to Greg as I walk out): "Yeah, I'll make sure she's okay to drive."
As I renter my living room, I see Maddie is all dressed and just standing there.
Me (compassionately): "Hey. How're you doing??"
Maddie (sounding a little better): "I'm okay. How's Coach Greg?"
Me (lying): "He's good."
Me (trying to be real but also put a positive spin on things): "He's partly on cloud nine, and partly a little worried that he put his career at risk just because he wanted this so badly."
Maddie (reactively): "Oh, I would never tell anyone."
Maddie (seemingly processing the second part of what I said): "Wait, wanting this? Meaning... wanting me?"
I nod.
Me (putting my arm around Maddie's waist): "Here, let's walk out to your car."
We head out of my apartment and down the flight of stairs in my building.
Me (as we're descending): "Yeah, I know it sounds silly to use this word in terms of an adult, but I'm just now realizing how big of a crush your coach has on you... and has had on you for quite awhile it seems."
Maddie (looking genuinely shocked): "Really?"
Me (twisting the facts for sure): "Yeah, I first found this all out when I mentioned to him I was fostering your old dog. But holy cow. He really does think the world of you in every possible way."
Maddie: "Oh my gosh. I had no idea. Now I feel even worse I made that joke then about the other girls on the team. I swear I won't tell anyone."
Me (as we're now approaching Maddie's parked car): "I know you won't. It goes without saying, but obviously if anyone ever found out, not only would Greg certainly be fired, but he probably would struggle to ever find another teaching job again."
Maddie (looking so genuinely concerned): "Oh my god. I would never. I promise."
Me: "I know. I know you don't want that. Here's the deal though. You just need to follow one simple rule. Well... two rules actually. The first and most obvious, is that you can't tell anyone about this. You can't talk about it. Well... you obviously can talk to me about it, though. So if you ever need to, you can always just give me a call."
Me (stressing this part): "But the second rule, and this is the important one. You can't ever put anything about this in writing. Ever. Not even to me. So that includes any sort of text messages, again even to me, so if you do want to discuss what happened, just give me a call instead. Does that make sense?"
Maddie (nodding): "Yeah. That makes sense."
Me: "But also, I don't know if kids these days have diaries anymore, but if you did, you can't even write about what happened in something like that. It's too risky that someone could eventually find it. Very simply, you can't write anything about this, either in text, or on your phone, or on paper. Ever."
Maddie (seeming like she really is grasping the gravity of this): "Got it. Understood."
Me (feeling relieved): "Okay, great. And Maddie, I really am sorry things ended so abruptly up there, but I hope it was as fun for you as it was for Coach and me."
Maddie (looking so genuinely doubtful): "Do you really think Coach was happy about what happened tonight?"
Me (smiling): "Oh my god. I have never, ever seen him happier or smiling more, than when he was going down on you. He was literally in heaven doing that."
Maddie (blushing): "Well, if he asks, you can tell him the feeling was mutual."