Marie came and got Ron from the waiting room. He thought she probably looked better than he did. Ron had hardly slept. Marie seemed to look like she always did. She made very brief eye contact with him, no more than a split second, when she called his name, then looked away before she turned. She held the door open for him and he walked after her down the corridor.
They were in the usual room he saw them in. It seemed odd just the two of them being in there, without Dr Smith-Crowden. Marie didn't seem to want to look at him. Ron sat down in his usual chair. Marie pulled over the chair Dr Smith-Crowden had usually used and sat down.
When she looked at him, her eyes watered. She seemed uncomfortable. Ron was surprised, he was used to seeing her looking so confident and poised, especially here, when she had her professional head on.
'Ron, I'm really sorry about last night,' said Marie.
'Why? You didn't do anything bad,' said Ron.
'I remember shouting at you in the pub, and I remember saying some inappropriate things afterwards,' said Marie. She looked nervous; she played with her hair, she kept pushing her hair back behind her ear on the left side of her face.
'Forget about it. You were drunk. I wasn't offended or anything, forget about it,' said Ron.
'Ok. I
am
sorry though,' said Marie.
'No worries, really. How's your head?' he asked. He smiled at her.
'I've had paracetamol,' she said.
Marie wasn't smiling back. She still looked nervous and uncomfortable. Ron had thought he'd be able to put her at ease quickly, but it seemed like he hadn't.
***
This session went differently. Marie asked him about his childhood. He told her he'd grown up in the Elephant/Walworth area. Ron's dad had been a butcher; he'd worked in a butchers on the Walworth road for almost fifty years. People used to say that was why Ron had got so big, because his old man was bringing home the best cuts of meat.
Ron felt like Marie was expecting dark stuff, like abuse or trauma or something, and he almost didn't want to disappoint her. The truth was that he felt he had nothing to complain about, he'd enjoyed his childhood. School had been boring, but it had been alright. It was rough where they lived, it could be
really
rough, but he'd been helping out in the butchers shop at the weekends, and he thought that had been great for him, he'd had money and it had kept him from getting involved in some of the stuff that was going on. Even when they went to the football, he went with his dad, his uncle and their mates, he never got involved in any of the aggravation.
Ron's dad had assumed he'd work at the butchers, and that would be what he did forever. Ron fancied the army though. He could remember when he was really small, his mum and dad had taken him into the west end. He could only have been about four, maybe even younger. He could vividly remember seeing the household cavalry outside Horse Guards. Something had clicked, he'd thought,
I'm
going to do that. The household cavalry was made up of two different regiments, the Life Guards, and the Blues and Royals, who'd been amalgamated. Ron could remember the ones he saw, they were Life Guards, wearing red tunics under their breastplates and blonde plumes on their helmets.
Ron's uncle had been in the Royal Fusiliers. He'd told Ron that if he joined the Household Cavalry, he'd spend all his time sweeping and mucking out "the facking 'orses," so Ron started thinking about the foot guards instead. He'd joined up as soon as he could. He realised quite quickly that he had a knack for being a squaddie. He'd always been neat and tidy as a kid, he'd always liked his room to be tidy and clean, and for his clothes to be just so. He fit into the guards. He'd been boxing in Elephant since he was ten, and if you could box, that got you a long way in the army. Things just felt right, he could remember thinking that he'd found what he was supposed to be doing.
Ron asked Marie if this was helpful, if this information was any use to her. She said it was, she said it was great. She was taking notes as he spoke. She asked him about his family, and he told her about his mum and dad, and what their relationships had all been like. He wondered what this stuff could have to do with him pissing himself. Marie told him to trust her. That moment was the closest she got to smiling.
When the appointment was finished, Ron felt disappointed. He always looked forward to coming to the Mental Health Team and seeing Marie. He liked being around her in this context. When he saw her in 'work mode,' she always had this poise and confidence about her which he found irresistible. Today had been different; she'd been almost cold towards him; she hadn't seemed comfortable. Ron had meant what he said when he told her he wasn't bothered about the night before. He loved her; he loved every single thing about her, he wasn't bothered about some drunken nonsense. He didn't want anything to change in their relationship. Now he was worried that something
had
changed.
***
When he got back to Pimlico, Vicky was in the living room. She was wearing his red, army boxing team t-shirt. It seemed to be an accepted thing that Annabelle and Vicky were going to wear his t-shirts as nighties now. Ron didn't mind too much as he thought they looked good in them. Vicky was eating cereal; she had a big purple bowl she always used.
'Good morning Mr Ron. How's your head?' asked Vicky.
'I'm alright. I didn't have that much,' said Ron.
'Marie bloody did,' said Vicky.
'She got stuck in,' said Ron.
'Is she a bit down in the dumps?' asked Vicky.
'I don't think she's great at the moment,' said Ron.
Caroline walked into the room. She was wearing one of Ron's old Millwall replica shirts. She kissed Vicky on the mouth, then came over and hugged and kissed Ron. Ron thought Caroline had probably just got out of bed. She had no makeup on, she hadn't done anything with her hair, but he thought she looked
stunning
. He thought she was one of the naturally prettiest, most alluring women he'd ever seen. She sat down on the settee next to Vicky, resting her body against Vicky.
'Are you working today Mr Ron?' asked Vicky.
'I'm not doing my normal thing, but Katie might need me. Have you got any bookings?' said Ron.
'This one's got a duo with Layla, but she won't need anyone with her,' said Vicky.
'Oh ok. You haven't got anything Vick?' said Ron.
'I've got the barristers tonight. That's at eleven. I seem to recall Katie said she needed you for one with Marie though. If that one finishes early enough, I'd love to have you with me,' said Vicky.
'Right. I'd like to catch up with them. Are you going to do the thing?' asked Ron.
'What thing?' asked Vicky.
'...The water sports thing,' said Ron.
Vicky and Caroline both smiled.
'I am indeed. We've been practicing,' said Vicky.
'Oh ok,' said Ron.
'And this one's so into it now that she's put it on the website that she'll wee on people!' said Vicky.
Caroline giggled.
'Do you get more for that?' asked Ron.