Christian College Sex Comedy

*Some masks hide who we are. Others show who we want to be*

(Thanks to a ton of people who helped with this who gave me patience, suggestions, read through it and occasionally kicked my ass to get me back on the job. Thanks too to Frontma for the final edit.)

(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic I'd like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)

*

As Rio and I pulled into the driveway of my house, I noted both the progress Aunt Jill's contractors were making on the extension being built to shelter the motorcycles that were now hanging out at the place and their number. I also saw a bike that I didn't recognize with a brazen gang emblem on the saddle bags -- Stormrider's, not Valarie's.

Rio was still sulking over Mercy being with her parents. It was Saturday night so she had less than a day to go before Homecoming ended and Fall Break began. The hope was that Mercy could convince her parents she was required to stay on campus for the week school was out. Considering what her family patriarch thought of women's opinions, we didn't think she had a prayer.

"A lot of bikes," Rio noted. "I don't care what Jill says, I'm grabbing a few beers."

"Don't run around the front yard naked or swing from the rafters and we'll do fine," I joked. I wasn't going to fight Rio on this -- I was preparing for a hung-over Rio at Church in the morning.

We heard laughter as we stepped onto the porch. I swung the door open and announced us.

"Jill -- it's me and Rio," I said. The laughter died down and I heard footsteps coming my way.

Jill and I met at the entry to the living room. We hugged, kissed and then she showed us in. Belle and Willa were regulars and Valarie was expected. The ginger-haired woman with a beer and a smile was unknown to me, though.

"Zane, Rio, this is Fontana Palmer, Valarie's mother," Jill introduced us.

"How's the leg, Old Lady?" Rio grinned. That's Rio for you. Fontana turned to Valarie.

"You were right -- you can't go ten minutes without wanting to punch her," she chuckled.

"I got it for you," Belle hopped up. Rio, in her foul mood, was ready to get in a scrap right then and there but I knew that was plain stupid.

"Come on, Belle," I intervened. "GF problems."

"Yours or hers?" Belle hesitated.

"Hers," I answered. Belle leaned past me and looked seriously at Rio.

"Mercy's in trouble?" Belle sounded concerned. Willa half-turned on the sofa to get a better view of things.

"She's with her," Rio bit down on the expletive for Jill's sake, "parents."

"Ah, what a bitch," Belle moved past me and led Rio to the sofa. "Isn't it great when the folks decide that you aren't good enough for their little pride and joy? Been there, done that."

Belle handed Rio her beer then looked back at me.

"Zane, two more beers," she ordered.

"Hi, Zane," I mocked myself, "Glad to have you back. How did the match go?"

"It is good to have you back, Zane," Jill touched my arm. "How did the match go?"

"What was the match in?" Fontana inquired.

"Oh, hi, Mrs. Palmer," I corrected my rudeness.

"He was in a marksmanship competition," Valarie jumped in. "How did you and Hope do?"

"Hope took top spot but it was close," I informed them. "The number two guy came in .02 points behind and third was .08. The team took third place." All I have to say is those two guys scared the crap out of me. Apparently they shoot moose with .22's in their spare time or some shit like that.

"Congratulations, Zane," Willa grinned. The room followed suit -- except for Rio. I motioned Jill to return to her chair and made for the stairs.

"Beers, bitch," Belle teased me. "Sorry, Jill -- beers, Punk." I opted to not make a scene so I dropped my bag, went to the fridge, and got two beers.

By the time I got back, Rio had buried her first beer and grabbed for her second. Belle took hers and winked.

"What? No tip?" I wondered.

"Oh, what were you expecting?" Belle tilted back her head.

I ran a hand through her hair, leaned in and kissed her on the lips. Our tongues darted forth, then danced back and forth within our mouths. I put a hand on her shoulder then let it migrate down to her breast. I squeezed it gently and Belle moaned. I broke the kiss and smiled at her.

"That'll do," I chuckled. Belle's eyes were alight and she was smiling as well.

Jill was looking into the fireplace and blushing, Rio was blasé, working through her beer, but the other three women were staring at me.

"Beer, Zane," Valarie leered. Fontana, far from being protective, patted her daughter on the shoulder.

"Oh, hell no," I waved off. "I was crawling through the woods all morning then spent the rest of the day riding in a bus with other smelly athletes. I'm putting my bag in my room and taking a shower."

"Are you sure you know what to do showering alone?" Valarie called after me. Bitch.

The first thing I noted was that someone had been sleeping in my bed. My money was on Fontana. I'd deal with that later but at the moment, all I wanted to do was get clean. As the hot water scalded away the grime and sweat I thought happy thoughts about Hope. She hadn't complimented me but she hadn't a bad thing to say about my performance either.

In a way I felt 'in the zone'. I caught the range, slope and wind changes like a pro and I thought her score showed it. I knew she wanted the team to do better but with the youth of the squad, coming in third out of a field of twelve felt good to me. For Hope, nothing short of first would do.

By the time I got downstairs, I was shirtless, wearing gym shorts, and drying my hair with a towel. The group had migrated to the den, the TV was on, and the conversation was muted. Jill's look told me I should have put on more clothes. I only wanted to unwind. The looks the other women were giving me were far less motherly.

I groaned, shook my head and went to the kitchen for some OJ. When I returned, I looked around for a seat and decided to sit down at Jill's feet. She leaned forward and patted my shoulder. That was fine. Valarie and her mother constantly stealing my glances my way was less so.

Rio was nursing a beer and her hurt feelings, Belle was running her hand through Rio's hair in a strangely comforting gesture, and Willa seemed amused by the whole affair. At the commercial break, Fontana stood up.

"Zane, can I talk to you alone for a minute -- outside," she requested.

"Sure," I half stood then, "Wait, does this involve me and pain?" She snorted mirthfully.

"No," she smirked. "If you behave I won't hurt you too much."

"Go on, you wuss," Rio teased. "It isn't like you've despoiled her daughter or anything."

"But I didn't," I explained desperately.

"That's right," Willa joked. "It isn't like you two have rolled around in that -- it's not a bed. What is it?"

"It is a sleeping platform," I mumbled. "I got tired of girls taking a header off my bed."

"That's awful considerate of you," Fontana smiled warmly. "A moment, please."

I followed her into the hall, then reluctantly outside to the porch. I was wearing shorts and it was cold so I folded my arms to conserve some warmth. Fontana moved a few more steps down the porch, turned, and looked me over.

"Zane, thank you for being a good friend to Valarie," Fontana began.

That wasn't what I was expecting to hear.

"Umm -- okay," I responded.

"See," Fontana went on, "when her father forced this on her to make her into his mold of what a good Christian woman should be, I was afraid the experience would leave her bitter."

"Why is she doing this anyway?" I asked. "She's eighteen and can make her own choices."

"Oh," Fontana mused thoughtfully. She paced back and forth once. "She likes you so much I assumed she told you." She paused for a moment. "After my problem with the law, my ex threatened to keep my other two daughters from me unless Valarie came to FFU."

"Oh, the fuck you say," I growled. My arms came down and I balled up my fists. "Listen, I know a pretty good lawyer if you want someone to have another go at your case -- or I can shove his head down a toilet until he changes his mind." Fontana laughed.

"No, you are doing enough. Stormriders take care of themselves most of the time but it's good to have friends too," Fontana smiled.

"Valarie is having a great time at school. She likes the girls she's met -- well, some of them -- and she's happy that so many are heading out our way over the summer," Fontana went on. "She's very proud."

"I would have never guessed," I replied sarcastically.

"No, really," Fontana faked her surprise well. "I know she hides it well but she's really proud of where she comes from. Honest." She paused again. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure," I shrugged.

"Why haven't you and my daughter hooked up? She won't tell me," Fontana questioned.

"I'm not sure," I worked out. "I've never pressed her. She may not like having sex with the eternal audience that hovers around me. Maybe she's respectful of all the other women in my life right now. All those answers sound plausible."

"Ha," Fontana laughed. "Stormriders aren't exactly bashful. She says your girlfriend, Heaven, shares but I think she really likes you because you aren't hitting on her."

"She likes me because I respect her boundaries? Oh, Gawd," I groaned. "At times I really wish I was an asshole. As it is, I'm afraid that one day my dick is going to fall off." Fontana walked up, patted my crotch.

"That would be a pity," she whispered into my ear before heading inside.

Because I Must Secretly Abhor a Good Night's Sleep

(Later that evening)

At school, I slept on a contraption that easily slept twelve and was often occupied by eight. I go home so I can sleep -- on the sofa? See, Valarie and her mom were in my room -- they were guests after all. In the prepared guest room, now Belle's room, Willa and Belle had crashed out. We had three other rooms upstairs but Jill hadn't gotten around into making anything of them.

Rio was supposed to join Valarie and Fontana in my bed but somewhere between 12 and 20 beers (she and Belle were sharing) Rio decided to grab a throw pillow, curl up on the floor and pass out/go to sleep. An effort to rouse her failed so I put a quilt over her and let her sleep it off. After 11:00 Jill went upstairs and the rest followed her to bed. I put a few logs on the fire and laid down to sleep on the sofa.

I couldn't have been asleep more than an hour when I felt something nudge my hip. I looked up to see Fontana's ass pressed against my side, her looking down into my eyes. Fontana was beautiful but in a hard, flinty way. She was mature but compact, like a she-wolf with little padding or softness to her.

Her long ginger hair was pulled back in a ponytail though her bangs were hanging loose. She wore a tight grey t-shirt that said 'Eyes Up!' that highlighted her breasts. Sure, a bit of a sag in her 36C's but very nice. The shirt only came halfway down her belly, fully exposing her bright red bikini brief panties to my gaze.

Her eyes were the same blue as Valarie's and danced in the fading fire's light. There were lines around her eyes and her face was weathered but strong. I could have stupidly asked what she wanted but, hey, she was sitting next to me, dressed like that after 'lights out'. I propped my upper body with my right elbow while reaching out with my left and cupping her right cheek.

As I drew her to me, Fontana twisted her body around so that she straddled me. I had to scoot my body toward the edge to give her knee room to settle down. She kissed me with a steady intensity that slowly pushed my head back to my pillow.

"Man, you are easy," she breathed playfully after we broke a long embrace.

"I thought I'd have to explain myself or some other shit like that," she added.

"If there's anything else I need to know, you'll tell me," I said softly as I brushed her bangs aside. "I figure Valarie already knows you are down here."

"Oh, yeah," she laughed. Rio stirred on the floor.

"Some chick named Leigh crawled through your window," Fontana whispered.

"Oh -- sorry about that," I muttered.

"That's okay," Fontana grinned. "Val sent her over to Belle's room." Oh, yeah, there was going to be some feedback on that; feeding a sorority/college chick to Belle in the middle of the night.

I had to go get Leigh -- eventually. I didn't want to be rude to Fontana, though. I put both hands to the side of Fontana's head and pulled her back into a deep French kiss. We hummed and moaned for several minutes, doing nothing more than twisting our tongues and saliva back and forth.

When Fontana finally came back up for air, she was really smiling.

"You don't just fuck a girl, do you?" she snickered. "This is nice, but I still want to get fucked." She began grinding her crotch against me so I decided to move things along. I let my arms gently drop down her front, fondling her breasts briefly before moving down to her panties.

Being subtle -- I put two of my fingers from each hand inside her panties and worked them down the miniscule distance allowed by her legs being spread to either side of me. Fontana chuckled, dismounted and shimmied out of her underwear. I threw off my blanket lickety-split and yanked/pulled/kicked off my shorts.

Fontana remounted me slowly, letting me drink in the beauty of her body. My cock was lying flat against my stomach as she settled her labia against the base of my shaft. I put my hands on her hips and began to rock her back and forth over my rod. Fontana placed her palms on my shoulders as she leaned forward. This allowed me to migrate my hands back to her butt cheeks.

"Ass man?" she teased.

"I like sexy," I rolled my hips beneath her, "and you are definitely that and more."

"Flatterer," she huffed playfully.

"Bullshit," I challenged her. "When was the last time you went home alone when you didn't want to?"

"You think I get picked up in bars?" she mused.

"You are more of the hunter than the prey," I countered.

"Good boy," she grinned.

"I hang out with dangerous women all the time," I grinned back. "I have to be good on my feet."

Fontana was moving back and forth rapidly and her vaginal fluids began to make both of us slick. By the uptake in her breathing, I could tell she was aroused. To prove it, she propped up on one knee, took my penis in her hand and aimed it at her pussy. She played with it along her slit, getting it extra wet.

A guttural growl escaped her lips as my cockhead pierced her lips and began to penetrate her. Now, Fontana wasn't a tight fit -- in fact, she was rather loose but not uncomfortably so. She more than compensated by exhibiting extraordinary vaginal muscle control and soon was sucking my cock in.

"Oh, yeah," she exhaled as her pussy ground all the way down. She kept her eyes on me, pleased with herself and my reactions to her machinations. Fontana began bending forward then pushing up. This brought her tits back into my focus. Her shirt was so tight they didn't move much but that only made them more enticing to me.

I gave her ass one playful slap before making a move on her breasts. The spanking earned me an arched eyebrow and a smirk. Fontana certainly didn't stop me from massaging her breasts. She even moved her hands to the back of her hips so that her chest was thrust forward. I followed that move by pushing up with one arm. My lips latched onto her left breast while my hand clutched her right one.

Suckling on her nipple through her shirt was tough going. Fontana had mercy on me. She took her shirt and began lifting it up in slow, tantalizing bits. She was playing me like a pro and I loved it. When she got to the swell of her breast, I lowered my head down and began running my tongue along the base, sweet with her sweat.

Fontana showed her approval by keeping her shirt there for some time. I could have pushed my hand beneath the shirt but I didn't. I wanted her to give it to me. She finally did give me her exposed breast and I dove straight on her pinky-sized nipple, sucked on it, and bit down lightly. Fontana jolted and hissed out but also pressed her tit harder into my mouth.

"Someone trained you well," Fontana purred. I mumbled something. "What was that?"

"Several somebodies," I clarified, then smacked back onto her tit. I didn't use my teeth again, keeping it sensual and compassionate without being rough. Fontana was encouraging my efforts so I felt I was doing well.

She finished working her shirt off. She cupped the breast I was suckling on so I could play with more of it. Her right hand reached down and touched my face. Fontana traced along my temple, to my cheek, and finally to my lips. She pressed two fingers between my lips and I sucked them in, letting my tongue play with the tips of her fingers along with the nipple.

The effect got Fontana huffing like a steam engine. Her thrusts down on me became stronger but more erratic until she erupted in a primal scream. Poor Jill.

"Aaaaiiieee!" she went off. Fontana's vaginal muscles spasmed around my cock while fluids sloshed down onto my crotch, down my ass, and onto the sofa cushions.

"Fuck it all," Fontana heaved breathlessly. "Too bad you are a millionaire playboy. You'd make a great bitch on the back of my bike."

"I was thinking the same thing," I panted.

"Really?" she eyed me skeptically.

"Yeah, you would make one hell of a personal secretary in my office," I snickered.

"Oh, you bastard," she laughed, before drawing me into a kiss. We fell back onto the cushions, making my hold on her breasts a bit difficult. I let my restless hands roam back to her ass and grabbed each taut cheek. She had a really hard, muscular ass with just enough play to be fun.

Fontana wiggled her hips between light kisses to my lips and nose.

"Somehow, something big and hard has gotten inside me," she teased. "What are we going to do about that?"

"Well, you wanted me to be the bitch on the back of your bike so let me get behind you so you can find out what it would be like," I dared her.

Fontana didn't say anything for the longest second.

"Don't get carried away back there," she warned me. "I'll let you know if I want any kind of 'special treatment'." Okay, no butt sex. Fontana wiggled her hips as she rose up off my cock until it slapped down on my stomach.

I pulled my knees up and Fontana turned around and went down on all fours on the other end of the sofa. Yeah, that was a magnificently sculpted ass. I moved behind her, pushing her right knee forward so I could kneel behind her with my right leg straddling hers. Then it was only a matter of lining my penis with her cunt and sliding it in.

She murmured happily as my rod twitched and penetrated inside her. I made a few strokes in as she gently pushed back against me. Once we had our rhythm, I leaned onto her back and began playing with her breasts once more. It was a slow, casual love-making; neither one of us was in a hurry.

Fontana began dipping her back down then thrust up as she contracted her vagina around my shaft and cockhead.

"Oh, God," I groaned as she built up the pressure on me.

"That's what you get for playing nice," Fontana purred.

"I thought you might enjoy a nice, slow screw," I ground out as my balls tightened.

"Oh, I do -- but I'd like to get some sleep too, Zane," she lustfully taunted me. I sat back up and placed my hand on her hips. Then I began picking up the pace, the wet slapping sound beginning to echo around the room. Fontana grunted as I pounded her, her ass and thighs absorbing much of my impact.

"Cu- -- cumming," I warned her. Fontana went from her hands to her elbows to maximize penetration.

"I'm ready, Honey," she huffed. "You can give me all you've got." It wasn't what she said but the way she said it that set me off.