Christian College Sex Comedy

*Friends stand by you through the struggles your enemies create*

(College, Humor, Lesbian, Strap-on, BDSM, Teasing, Interracial, Cunnilingus, Hot Tub, FFF)

(Group Sex)

(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic, I'd like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)

"Hey, Jill, I'm home," I called out as I entered the 'family' home.

"I'll warm up some dinner for you," Jill called out from the kitchen.

"Thanks," I replied. I heard the TV coming from the den and headed that way. Belle was lounging on the sofa, arms over the back and feet kicked up on the coffee table.

"Hey, Kid," she greeted me without turning around.

"Hey, Belle. Please take your feet off the coffee table," I asked.

"If Jill wants me to move them she will ask me," Belle chuckled. "This is not your damn home, monkey-boy."

"Jill wouldn't ask...mainly because she's afraid of you," I joked, "so I'm asking."

"No," she stated.

"Fine, but you have only yourself to blame when you wake up in a black kitten suit in the center of the University of Virginia campus," I mocked her. Belle looked over her shoulder at me.

"Bring it, Bitch," she counter-mocked. I jumped over the sofa and sat beside her. Belle's gaze was a challenge, which I took up. I reached out and playfully pulled her shirt up so that I could start placing kisses on her stomach. "Okay, I'm not going to pummel you in the next twenty seconds, so keep me happy and I'll let you live," she purred.

I unbuckled and unbuttoned her pants before working them down. Belle's eyes clearly showed her curiosity as to how far I was going with this. I moved halfway off the sofa, began working her boots off, then wrested her pants and panties the rest of the way off as well. Once I had lifted her right leg up pointing to the ceiling, I moved between her thighs and gave her a devilish grin.

Belle scooted her butt to the edge of the sofa before guiding my lips the last little bit to her pussy. It was already glistening with her arousal as I made my first contact.

"Zane, your food is ready," Jill called ¬¬out. Yes – yes, it was.

"He'll be there in a minute," Belle called out. As for me, I put my hands under her ass cheeks and lifted her to me.

"Someone's been eating their Wheaties," Belle murmured. I pulled her clit tightly between my lips with a powerful suction. When I started thrumming it with my tongue rapid-fire, Belle began to gyrate her hips and started panting.

"Are you done with the dishes?" Belle called out to Jill.

"Almost, Dear," Jill answered.

"Hurry," Belle pleaded to me. She was working her nipples through her sports bra. I began wedging two fingers into her snatch, wiggling and twisting them around to up my game. Right as we heard Jill coming down the hallway, Belle grabbed a throw pillow off the sofa and bit down on it to muffle her scream.

In rapid order I pulled up her panties and jeans so that Belle could secure them before Jill came within view.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Belle announced as she hopped up and hurried to the downstairs lavatory in her socking feet. Jill snuck over, retrieved the remote control off the coffee table, and then headed to her chair.

"Zane, you may want to wash up before you eat," Jill said, somewhat embarrassed by the request. That was mostly likely brought on by either the glistening residue on my lower face, the damp spot on the sofa, and/or the smell of Belle's sexuality in the air. I'm an idiot but not a total moron; I headed off the bathroom as well.

"I think Jill knows," I sighed to Belle as we maneuvered around the sink.

"Ya think?" Belle laughed. "I tell you what; I'll tell Jill that I'll keep my boots off the furniture from now on. Let's see what she makes of that."

I was afraid of what it looked like.

"She'll probably think that you've bribed me with sex," Belle gave me a hip nudge.

"That's wonderful," I groaned.

"It's the truth," Belle snickered. "She's a brutal bitch but she never lies to you."

"True enough," I conceded; the Truth was a brutal bitch indeed and didn't play favorites.

"Tell me something, Zane; why do you feel entitled to put your hands on me?" she asked.

"Entitled? I feel damn lucky for every opportunity I have with you. When I see you looking horny, I jump at the chance," I informed her. "It's not like I have to psyche myself into wanting to be with you, Belle." This is usually when I have to explain my love and attentiveness theory to women. Belle barely shrugged as she exited the room and joined Jill in the living room.

"Zane's convinced me to leave my boots at the door," Belle spoke up. She had resumed her seat on the sofa.

"Oh...I – well, thank you," Jill managed to get out.

"Jill, I'll also start asking you about some of the sh- – crap I do, in case any of it annoys you," Belle continued. "I know Zane dropped me in your lap; you've been cool about it."

"Thank you, Belle," Jill smiled. "It has actually been quite nice to have someone home when I get in. You don't really appreciate companionship until you find yourself home alone."

"No problem, Jill. These accommodations beat my last place and the company is ten times better," Belle mused.

"I'm glad you are here too," I added. "I also have some business to discuss really quickly. Belle, could you help us buy some motorcycles tomorrow afternoon? Second, I asked two girls to come over for a movie Saturday night, if that's okay?"

"Sure, I'll go shopping with your psycho pack. As for the girls, anyone we know?" Belle prodded.

"Erin and Gerry, the two girls who invited the gang out to a party last Saturday night," I related. "I said I would spend some time with them but I let that fall through. They decided to let me make it up to them."

"'Decided to let you make it up to them?' " Belle laughed. "You are one weird dude."

"What? I don't understand," Jill worried. "Did Zane do something wrong?"

"Nah. Most guys who blow off a girl either don't worry about it or don't call back," Belle kept chuckling. "Your nephew is more than a bit odd."

I threw up my hands in disgust before turning and getting my dinner. I joined the two ladies, ate my dinner, and kissed Aunt Jill goodnight and made for the door. I caught Belle giving me a curious look so I doubled back and gave her a kiss on the cheek too. She looked more amused than anything else – seeing me in a domestic light must have seemed hilarious to her.

I would have been worried about her having a negative reaction except I knew Belle didn't operate under life's normal restrictions. She could be chief bad-ass bitch of a 1% club and devotedly religious Aunt Jill's guardian at the same time. It was her ability to not give a damn about anyone else's opinions of her yet still hold a great deal of empathy for those she chose to care about that I valued so much.

JUGGLING DYNAMITE

"Zane," Cassandra, a junior, caught me heading from the parking lot to my dorm. "Handmaiden's Duty." Technically, it wasn't nine o'clock yet so I was vulnerable.

"Hey, Cassandra, what would you like me to do?" I inquired politely.

"Lick me to unconsciousness," she smiled. Wait! Wasn't she a Rhaine supporter?

"What!" I gasped. That was a little extreme for even my unconventional life path.

"I am just kidding," she giggled. "I want you to be my towel boy this evening."

"Let's go up to your room," she took my hand, "I want to pick out your swimsuit."

"Holy Hell," I muttered. I knew I should have stayed away from that Brazilian website. You were safe inside your dorm room from this tradition – unless your duty takes you into one.

Paige materialized at my side as I cleared the stairwell. How my albino lover felt about the African-American woman leading me, she didn't show. Cassandra was a deep, rich brown color with straight hair that went well past her shoulders, both an interesting contrast to Paige's startling white. Cassandra was also a 40 D bra size and was the proud owner of an ass that was right on the safe side of being too much.

It wasn't worth mentioning that her father was also a partner in one of Florida's largest and most prestigious law firms. That she fully expected a video of her in a hot tub with me in, or close by, was a given. I had no clue as to why she wanted to piss daddy off because all I really could think about was which bikini she would chose.

"There is someone waiting for you in the bedroom," Paige whispered in my ear. My sexual antics are usually broadcast, which made me wonder why Paige was being clandestine about it. I knew why the moment I passed around the last screen and saw who was on my bed – Gabrielle Black. She looked at ease, though she studied my approach. I had to work out what she might want, which wasn't easy, but I do have a way with women it seems.

"What would your five best movies be?" I tossed out there as I collapsed on my back on the bed next to her. "Reign of Fire, Dragon Wars..."

"Dragonslayer," Gabrielle declared. "It was my first and probably my favorite," she reclined at my side close enough so that I could make out her face looking down at me as we spoke.

"Pete's Dragon?" I teased – reference my earlier idiocy for an explanation.

"No," she replied crisply. "Never say those words together ever again, and if the next words out of your mouth are The Never Ending Story, I'll skull fuck you with your own pancreas." I was left with no doubt as to her ability and willingness to do just such a thing. Being Gabrielle's only friend was proving to be a threat to my physical well-being.

"Dragonheart." I elected to live. Gabrielle nodded.

"Dragonslayer, Dragonheart, Reign of Fire, Dragon Wars, and Erogen," she listed off her favorites. "I've considered Q as well."

"Oh, the hell you say," I gasped. I rolled over to playfully smack her on her ass and pain ensued – my pain, as she grabbed and twisted my wrist effortlessly.

"No," I seethed through the agony, "Q gets an ass-swat. You'll have to break it because I'm not letting you get away with comparing that dog Q to Reign of Fire." Then I rolled my head and screamed into the comforter because I've had my nuts ground into a puree and that didn't hold a candle to this level of pain.

"You are not touching me like that," Gabrielle whispered to me. She may have been talking normally; I was still screaming into the sheets because she hadn't let up. When she did, I gasped, "No – not gonna –" and the pain returned. Things were fading to black and the only thing I could focus on was biting my own arm off to end my suffering.

"You really can take a beating, Zane," Gabrielle noted. "I've known people to pass out after ten seconds of this hold and you've broken thirty. I am mildly impressed." She let go and like a switch, the pain vanished, though the arm was numb. I pushed up with my good arm until I was kneeling before the still reclining Gabrielle.

"Don't," she warned, already discerning my intentions.

"It is not happening," I ground out. "Q does not stand in the hierarchy of dragon movies unless you want to drag Harry Potter in too."

"You are not laying a hand on me," she warned.

"You are going to have to break my other arm to stop me," I shrugged. I moved my other hand forward slowly. When I broke the plane of her body, she grabbed my other wrist.

"Your arm is not broken, only suffering from a paralysis that will fade within four or five minutes. Now stop it."

I tried to brute my way past her; she twisted the wrist and popped my shoulder joint. Oddly there wasn't too much pain, though my arm went limp. She leveraged me from a kneeling position to the vertical. I was starting to worry (yes, just starting) that I'd pissed her off when she mounted me, my useless arms pinned to my side, and she looked down at me.

"I find you amusing," she stated calmly. "I am not saying you are a joke; you are willing to express playfulness despite your own pain and other people's resistance." I wiggled beneath her. A less experienced person would have assumed I was trying to break free. Gabrielle worked it out in seconds. She unzipped her shirt half way down then leaned down so that her bulletproof sports bra was in my face.

"If I don't do this, I'll end up killing you," she explained. I didn't get her ass but I was getting her cleavage – what a wacky world I lived in.

"Mmmphf," I replied. I was busy kissing the top of each breast above the bra and licking the valley between as rapidly as I could. I wasn't sure how patient she would be.

"Time for you to get to the meeting outside," Gabrielle explained. She moved off me to one side and began massaging my arms. "I'll reconsider Q but don't hold your breath," she added as we got off the bed and headed out.

"I still owe you an ass-paddling," I groaned.

"Forty-seven minutes," Gabrielle pointed out. "That is the time it takes to dig and fill in a three foot deep grave for a man of your height and weight. You might want to keep that in mind."

"Why? I don't know any guys of my height and weight," I smiled at her. What she said next made less sense at the moment.

"Too bad you are an only child; you would have made one hell of a big brother," she nodded.

"Gabrielle, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" I asked instead.

"Had I brought about oxygen deprivation to your brain, I would have a better understanding of that request," she regarded me. "With me and my trouble, why would you put your family at risk?"

"Family is more than blood; it is those you chose to let inside – not in your minds but in your souls," I responded. "At some time you made the choice to live. I'm not trying to do you any favors out of pity; I'm responding to your desire to overcome all obstacles, and that drive is worth emulating by me and mine." She nodded once but became non-communicative once we entered the main room.

The rest of the group was gathering: our five educators, eighteen women I was familiar with in one way or another, plus a handful of ladies that normally spent some free time with me. I made a point of approaching the women I believed had been elected to lead their 'tribes'. A few, like Temperance, Hannah, and Chastity, were well known and liked me.

Rhaine and Joy had also come out on top of their respective tribes and, with nine other girls, made up the majority of the leadership. It was a bit disheartening to see the Traditionalist had come out on top but with the memories of the civil strife receding, it made sense that my side would suffer. The basics hadn't changed; this was still a Christian women's university.

"Zane," Dr. Kennedy began, "I think Ms. Lane and I will have a list by Monday morning. Do you want us to submit a list of nominees to you by lunchtime?"

"No, I rely on you two to make the right choices," I answered. "I trust you."

"Even if we pick more Traditionalists than Progressives?" Hudson Lane asked.

"The school is not mine but ours, despite what Dr. Scarlett thinks," I told her. "You two know more about what makes a better jurist than I do. I'll stand by that belief." I thought Hudson was just playing with me and by the sparkle in her eyes and the tongue she flicked across her lips, I was right.

"We should have the Nameless selected by Friday afternoon," Dana informed me. There was no question of me accepting those names. If you aren't going to listen to your experts, why get them?

"Good enough," I said. "Once they have accepted, have them contact me when they can and we'll work out a good time to meet with the other Janissaries."

"What are the Janissaries?" a newcomer inquired. I looked at her. "Sage Lincoln," she identified herself.

"It is the code word used to describe those who work on your behalf as part of an executive body: The Advocates, who will administer disputes between the tribes, and the Nameless enforce your, the tribal leaders', and the Advocates' decisions," Christina announced.

"Why do we need any of this?" a second girl, KayLeigh Miller, asked.

"The stronger the tribal leaders and the Janissaries are, the less power I have," I explained. "Think about it: I'm not mediating disputes or forcing ladies to do things – you women are. All the Janissaries are chosen by the five female educators in this room. The Tribal leaders can impeach any of them at any time. It is all on you to rule yourselves."

"How can we be sure you stay out of things?" Rhaine wondered.

"I'm not staying out of things," I reasoned. "I'm the human shield. If the tribal council needs money, I ask for the money. If there is no amicable solution to our problems, the Advocates can bring me in. If there is a problem with the Administration, you ladies formulate our response and I present it. Face it: If it is a crappy job, you ladies give it to me."

"It is rumored that we, the tribal leaders, can vote you out of school," KayLeigh volunteered.

"Can you get voted out of school?" I countered.

"No. My parents paid for me to be here," she replied.

"Then why would I be any different?" I grinned. "Honestly, what I suggested was that I could be voted out as Mediator, but I have since been given the impression that the Vice Chancellor would only allow a male student to hold the spot...so you are currently stuck with me."

"Can we put other restrictions on you?" Simone Brady prodded.

"This is not the 'Zane' show," Virginia Goodswell interjected. "We need to decide when the new Student government will meet – I suggest Tuesday nights – and how we are going to conduct business."

"We can start by deciding where we meet," Chastity spoke up. "I vote for Zane's place."

"What's wrong with the Assembly Hall, where we've always met?" Rhaine countered.

"Rhaine, you are drinking a Dr. Pepper, KayLeigh, you are drinking a grape juice, and Joy was eating a bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup when I got here," Hope snickered. "You have hot plates and microwaves too, if needed."

Rhaine, Joy, and KayLeigh, all Traditionalists, looked guilty. They also looked like they treasured their creature comforts because they weren't running for the door.

"It is a nice place," KayLeigh admitted.

"And you don't get to come back up here otherwise," Rio grinned evilly. "This floor is devoted to the freshman class."

"There are a lot of upperclassmen up here right now," Rhaine pointed out.

"Those are what you would call 'friends'," Rio sneered. "If you weren't freaking evil, you might have some."

"Please don't put it that way," I requested of Rio. Rio had every reason to be cranky. Mercy looked even more exhausted sitting at her side.

"Zane will arrange the room to fit your needs," Christina finally spoke, "I guarantee it."

"You think you can control him?" Rhaine shot back.

"I'm not afraid of him; he's not some wild beast. I ask him to do things for me and he does," Christina chided Rhaine. "He is like any other freshman; it is that simple."

"He's rather mouthy for a freshman," Hannah joked.

"Well, maybe if you put my mouth to other uses," I bantered back. There was a moment of silence followed by Dana Gorman taking up her bottled water and walking over to me. She smiled down at my seated form while she poured out the remaining water onto my crown.

"Cool off, Casanova," Dana cautioned me playfully before returning to her seat.

"Exactly why do you keep her around again?" Rio slapped my shoulder.

"Can you imagine how insufferable Christina would be if Coach didn't keep her in line?" I smiled. Christina rolled her eyes while Rio chuckled. Virginia stood up and cleared her throat.

"I want to make sure that all the ladies – plus Zane – plan to make this experiment work. It is rather pointless to proceed if any of you can't be honest now," Virginia, my Spiritual Advisor, poled the audience. Most of the girls looked around to see who would do what but no one jumped.