*If I love women, I'm straight; and if I love men, I'm confused; does being Bi make me greedy?*
Thank you Frontma for burning the midnight oil on this one.
(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic, I'd like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)
We were late heading out of the dorm so, under Rhaine's watchful control, the group jogged toward the dining hall. As we made the final approach, Rhaine grabbed my arm. Rhaine, Joy, Mercy and I slowed down while the rest headed in ahead of us.
"What are we going to say?" Rhaine hissed in a panicky voice.
"I was childish, blocked the door, and you caught me sneaking down a fire escape," I suggested.
"You will get in trouble," Rhaine said with utter confusion.
"I can take it better than you can," I related.
"I don't understand. Why are you...all of you, doing this for us?" Joy asked.
"Because," I snorted, "we are the good guys." They clearly thought I was a nut but going inside cut off the conversation. "Besides, I need to do something that's going to be rough on both of us."
The Smartest Girl on Campus
Looking back on things, that first Monday when it was only Rio and I realizing what I was became the only time I entered the Dining Hall or Assembly without being noticed. First I had been a novelty, now I was the freakish center of the storm. I sort of held my reactions in reverse; the hateful looks my enemies gave me made me laugh while the hopeful looks my allies gave me scared the hell out of me.
I was dwelling on that quirk in my nature when I reached the spot my gang was sitting; we had our own location and the majority of the school had given it their blessing. Weird? Only the Class Presidents had their own preordained spots. Speaking of which...
"Hey, Jungle Boy," Rio teased in such a dangerous way that I felt my balls crawl up into my body. "Iona nominated you for Freshman Class President."
"Ha, ha, ha," I joked dryly, then looked to Iona. She couldn't meet my gaze. "Iona, why? Why didn't you at least ask me first?"
"I knew you would say 'no'," she replied softly, then she looked up with more determination, "but I know you would be a great Class President."
"Don't sweat it, Zane," Rio chuckled. "You need fifty signatures to be on the ballet."
"He has seventy-two," Iona informed us.
"Gak! How long have I been out there?" I gasped.
"Nine minutes," Iona smirked bashfully. I looked around the room, humbled and disturbed. You have to remember that there weren't 250 freshmen and nearly one-third had decided that I should lead them; the faculty must be having kittens. I was thinking that over when a previous bit of theater came back to bite me in the ass. A girl I vaguely knew – Arielle, a fellow freshman – put her hand on my shoulder and waited.
It took me a second to clue in but thankfully she and the others were patient. I put my hand on top of hers.
"Thank you," I told her. She smiled and moved away, immediately replaced by another freshman. Over 80 freshmen followed and I could feel the disgust emanating from the head table were Chancellor Bass sat.
Friends like Brandi and Dove came over to congratulate me on my nomination but I realized my more savvy friends stayed away. They knew the struggle I was in for and the very real possibility that even if I was elected, Chancellor Bass would simply kick me out. I'd be going to them for advice and counsel. I guess I might actually have to ask Iona who the Sophomore and Junior Class Presidents were. In fact...
"Iona, who are the other Class Presidents?" I inquired.
"They would be those haughty bitches in pleated skirts," Rio interrupted.
"Funny like a crutch," I replied snidely. "Besides, that describes about half the girls here."
"These would be the ones avoiding you like the plague," Rio snickered.
"Here you go," Iona intervened, showing me two pictures on her phone. "Besides, you aren't that alone; the Science Club and Botany Club both support you."
"Whoop-de-do," Rio huffed. "What are they going to do? Send nasty e-mails and throw clods of dirt on our opponents?"
"Could I meet with them?" I asked Iona, ignoring Rio's snide asides.
"They've both agreed to help with your Solarium," Iona shot a 'that will show you' to Rio, "and you already know the head of the Science Club but I can set up a meeting if you like."
"Make it so," I commanded loftily.
"Zane, if you become Class President Iona will be your Personal Assistant, but what does that make me?" Rio inquired.
"My House Assassin," I suggested. Rio seemed to like the idea – it fit with her violent tendencies – but she wanted an explanation. "You are almost always underestimated, and like me, you have nothing to lose."
"House Assassin," Rio mulled it over. "Okay, but I prefer the title 'Ninja Reaper Angel'."
Rio and I exchanged looks; hers mischievous and mine one of amusement.
"NRA?" I questioned her. "Seriously?"
"Well, I like it," Iona interjected.
"Wait! Wait!" Rio exclaimed. "Ninja Stripper Angel – I could be the NSA!"
"How about Ninja Urban Temptress?" I suggested.
"Hardy har har," Rio snickered, then stuck out her tongue.
"On that note," sounded an exasperated Iona, "let's go to class. Hanging out with you two is lowering my IQ." Rio and I shared an awestruck look.
"Did our little girl just make a funny?" Rio wondered.
"They grow up so fast these days. I blame the internet," I responded. Iona hit me before taking her tray and standing up.
"Ow! Why didn't you hit Rio?" I questioned.
"She's incorrigible, Zane, but I expect better from you," the little raven haired beauty lectured me, but with a compassionate smile. I looked to Rio but she stuck out her tongue again and left as well.
I was still dealing. I had joined with Elizabeth (a neutral in the power struggles going on) for my Handmaiden's Duty, which turned out to be a question-and-answer session on the Bible.
