Canadian Bacon
It's not really bacon, you know. It's more like a pork loin coated in pea-meal.
People come to Canada to paddle in our wild rivers, eat our 'Canadian bacon', and enjoy our Canadian women, but they don't expect coated ham, and they don't expect me.
I am a girl with the looks and heritage of an Italian-Canadian. Dad always said that he married Sophia Loren, but I never saw one of her films. It would make me sad, having lost them both only 5 years ago.
Dad had already lost most of his hair. Like Ron Howard, he went from a fully haired boy to a fringed dome in less than a decade.
The two raised me to the point of going to college for my dream job, then my inheritance helped me to start my wilderness adventure company.
'Canoe Sue' is now going into its fourth season, with full bookings through the Canadian Thanksgiving. I have three young ladies working with me now, and they have skin in the game too. I insisted on a reasonable buy-in, and they are all working it off, with one paying off her investment by the end of the season.
I've never told my girls to have sex with our clients, but I did train them, and I never let a chance to make love in the woods pass me by. We charge a lot, but the tips are still the meter that we use to judge our success, and we all get great tips.
Less than 2% of Ontario is composed of Indigenous People. Of course it's much higher north of Barrie, but it's still less than 1 in 10, and many are on their Tribal lands or deep in the back country.
Our Tour Guide company is 50% Aboriginal. Christa is from Ecuador with her own native roots and I was born in North Bay, Ontario. Winter Storm and her sister Autumn Breeze are Ojibwa on both sides. Their grandfather was my dad's best friend, and he taught me how to love the land, and the water. He is the one that simply told me that I could do whatever I wanted in life, as long as I followed my heart. So we teach our patrons to love the land, and the water, and themselves.
We also own Witamaki Outfitters, and this year Tom is retiring, and his nephew Paulee is taking over. He's a bit young, but the other ladies like him, while I think of him as a cousin, so I don't fool around with him, like the others do.
"Winter! Can you check the bags from LAX," Paulee yelled, "I think they didn't read the memo." He was referring to the four smiling yokels that stood on the dock ogling their guides.
I had to shake my head seeing all three of my partners standing with their tits hanging out, and expecting their American patrons to just accept it as normal business in Canada.
"Who here wants everyone to wear a shirt," I asked, as if it was a democracy.
Paulee just shook his head. Even he wasn't objecting to the view, but he wanted the customers to put their tongues back in their mouths and get their tails in gear.
My guys were returning customers, so they knew the drill. They came off the shuttle bus and put their compact personal items into the dry bags, then carried their own gear to our travel van. They all had their maps in hand, but I could tell that they were very interested in the two guides they had never traveled with.
"You've got your map upside down Bishop," I called out to my friend. They all looked, first to see that I was joking, then because we all knew who they had been checking out.
"Maybe next year we could try a different guide," he teased me. He might be able to get on their schedule for next year, but I doubted it.
"Those ladies are booked boys. You will get your paddling experience with me and Christa, or you can try paddling stag?" I suggested, but I had heard the last of that.
"I'm sure Paulee can find you a male guide, and I know some of them would like to give you a paddling Jordan," Christa suggested.
Jordan is a linebacker for the New York Giants. Well he could be if he wasn't an Electrical Engineer outside of Boston.
"Do we have to wait for Paulee," Jordan whined.
I knew they wanted to get back on the water, but I hoped they also wanted to get back in my arms.
Winter finally got out of her canoe and had her attentive audience opening up their packs for her.
Electronic devices!
She piled them on the dock from each bag, then decided it was easier to pull out the things they needed, rather than the things they didn't. Her sister finally arrived, with her stereo blaring from her rusty clunker. Autumn was a tough choice for me, but her sister pleaded, and she is a great guide, as are many in her tribe.
The sisters exchanged a few words that I could not keep up with, but it was no doubt an apology.
"Okay, I'm sure they can handle it, Paulee, just pack some extra condoms," I yelled to our trip planner. All of their heads jerked to me, then back to their beautiful dark skinned guides.
"Is large okay for you guys? I don't want you breaking any," I heard Paulee ask. "...or losing one inside," he muttered less loudly.
I looked over at Jim and he nodded his head, confirming that he had packed enough King Dong condoms for his beefy member.
Paulee could see that they were fine, he jumped in the driver's seat of the van so I could chat with my friends. My young friend would have his headphones on in 3 seconds, so he was more of a chauffeur at this point. I was only 6 years older than him, but we are a world apart.
I hung over the seat, disregarding the seat belt. My tits were supported by the headrest, and the 10 pounds I put on during the winter were hidden, at least for now.
"So how is your wife Earl," I asked.
"The Countess is pregnant again," Bishop interjected. They still made fun of Earl's noble name. I still couldn't remember his wife's name though.
Earl pulled up the ultrasound pictures and I cooed at the shadow figure, not really caring.
We had a long drive, but it was mostly highway. The logging road to our access point was not far off the tarmac.
"Let's shake it guys," I yelled as I jumped from the shotgun seat. "We want to put civilization behind us!" I was anxious for the solitude of nature.
