"Do you love my mom?" Hannah asked me.
I swirled my fingers lazily across the bare skin of her back. She rested on her stomach cozied in next to me on her bed at Deana's, where she'd been staying more and more often in the month and change since Brandon's death and the start of our strange three-person relationship.
Or maybe it was our bed. Apart from one or two nights near the beginning of my stay at Deana's, I hadn't spent much time sleeping in Brandon's room. I either slept with Deana or Hannah, usually the latter at her mother's insistence. It was nice waking up to someone. It had been too long.
"You know I love the both of you," I said.
"I know, but like... love love?"
"Yeah. I do. We've talked about that," I said. "Why?"
"She's going to ask you to give her a baby, I think."
My head rose up and I gaped at her. She was very still, looking at my chest and not my face. "What?"
"She talked about it sometimes before Brandon got so sick. I mean in general, not with you. One more kid, maybe two. She misses it. And I found some new pregnancy kits in her bathroom. Have you two been careful?"
"Um."
No, we really hadn't. Deana asked me to come inside her the first time we slept together, and probably one out of three times after that. I should have asked her about the pill or the shot by that point, but the sex was so fucking incredible I shut that part of my brain off. I wasn't stupid. I knew what it could and would probably lead to. But I just didn't acknowledge it on a conscious level.
Hannah finally pushed up and blinked at me sleepily. "You haven't, have you?"
"No. I guess we haven't."
"Do you want a kid with her?"
I took a deep breath. "Oh jeez."
"What?"
"Nothing. I just... I went from barely hanging on to suddenly thinking about being a dad. Christ, I'm not father material."
"That's not true. You'd be the best dad."
"I don't know-"
"I do. You were there for Brandon. When he needed help taking care of himself and there was no one else around, you were there."
"He told you about that?"
"Yes. He did. And I've seen you with my cousins' kids. You care, Nick. And that's all the support a kid needs. You. Care." She settled back down and nestled her head on my arm. "You would not be like our dads."
Not exactly a high bar, that, but I kissed the top of her head. "Would you be okay with that? Me having a kid with your mom?"
"Yes," she said immediately. "I want her to be happy. And it wouldn't come until long after I was done with college and it would be fun to be an aunt and live here again." She looked up at me again. "Would that be okay?"
"Are you asking me permission to live in your own home again?" I shook my head. "What is with you tonight?"
"Rachel's flying in tomorrow. I just... the two of them, and you, and... I'm just kinda wondering if I can fit into all that."
"What do you mean, the two of them and me? Of course you fit in. Hannah, I'm not going to be happy with just you or your mom. I said it before. I want both of you. I mean that. I want it all."
"And Rachel?"
"If she fits into this, sure." We both knew Rachel was talking more and more about a move away from Philadelphia, and that part of the reason she was coming that weekend was ain interview half an hour from Evanile.
"Good," Hannah said. She chased my nipple with her lips and sucked at it for a moment before beginning a slow, lazy crawl down my body. "Because I overheard them. They're planning on fucking you dry this weekend."
"What?" I asked, laughing.
"Mm hm. And I'm going to finally do it. I'm going to come out to my mom tomorrow because I kinda want to play with Rachel too, if she's interested."
I thought about the looks Rachel had given Hannah when we met her, and almost told her I didn't think there would be any doubt the blonde was eager to have fun with her too. But then Hannah had my cock in her mouth, and for a while, there was just the two of us.
* * *
"Do you really want a kid with me?" I asked Deana the next morning.
She froze, her eyes scanning me with a look like a deer in the headlights. Her throat worked and several sounds like she was trying to cough out a hairball emerged from her before she squawked, "Hannah! Get down here!"
Hannah hurried down the stairs. The relentless winter was finally sliding away, and she was dressed like it was ninety degrees in long flaring shorts and a short-sleeved top. "Yeeeessss?" she asked as she came into the kitchen, an enticing bounce to her boobs.
"Did you tell Nick I wanted to have a baby with him?"
Hannah was good. She didn't flinch, but stole a muffin from a plate between the two of us at the table and said, "Wow, look at the time, classes start in an hour-"
"Hannah!" Deana said more sharply.
"Love you both, I'm totally cool with him draining his little swimmers in you, and I'm hoping for a baby sister, byeeeee!"
"Oh Jesus Christ," Deana muttered as Hannah fled. "I'm changing the locks."
"She found your pregnancy kits and she says you've been talking about another baby for a while. Even before Brandon got sick."
She quartered her muffin, and though she was using a butter knife to do it, I could still easily imagine her stabbing her daughter with it. "This is not how I wanted to do this."
"I'm sorry."
"No, don't be. I should have been up front with you from the beginning." She ate a bite of double chocolate chip muffin, swallowed, and sipped from a cup of herbal tea. "I do want another baby. Maybe more than one. Maybe a couple more. I'm still young enough I would only be in my sixties when they graduated. This, with Brandon, it hurt so much, just... ungodly amounts of pain, but it did something to me too. Made me want more life in mine." She looked at me. "I know that's a lot. You're twenty. And I knew what we were doing when we weren't careful. I... I'm sorry about that. Remember when I told you I was maybe going to ask you for a favor in return for living with me? Yeah. This is it."
"I thought about it all night. I want it," I said, picking at my own muffin. "I'm scared I'll be like my dad or Gordon, but maybe that means I just work harder at it. But I don't want to do it as a favor. I don't want that for my kid. I love you, Deana, but even if something happened to split us apart, I'd want to be a part of that kid's life."
"Thank you. That means everything to me."
"You don't have to thank me. You're an amazing mom. Getting to be a part of that... it's gonna be..." I clicked my tongue and thought, then slowly grinned. "I have no idea what it's going to be like. But that'll be fun."
She laughed. "Yeah. It definitely has its moments."
We studied each other as we ate. Deana blushed, and I pushed aside my plate. "You know, she told me something else too."
"What?" she asked throatily, her cheeks going an even deeper red.
I stood and came to her. She stared up at me as I reached for her plate and pushed it aside too. "That you and Rachel plan on draining me dry this weekend."
A wicked smile spread slowly across Deana's face as she reached for my jeans. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"She'll be here in twenty minutes."
"Good. Plenty of time for what I really want to eat this morning."
She got my jeans down and I lifted her up from her chair. "And what is it you want to eat?" she breathed in my ear.
I didn't answer. Instead, I found the zipper to her skirt and slid it down. She pulled off her top as I knelt and took her skirt in hand to lay it out on the back of her chair. When I took the top and did the same, I turned to her. There was passion there crackling between us, but there was a warmth too. Things with Hannah were more complex. She was withholding something from me, a secret I thought I knew the shape of, but she needed to move at her own pace.