"Can we talk?"
I laughed into the phone. "Are you channeling Joan Rivers?"
Steph giggled and said she was serious about talking.
"I take it you don't mean over the phone like we're doing right now."
"No, this is a face-to-face talk."
"Is something wrong? Are you sick? No, are you and Cory breaking up? God, what happened? Did he cheat on you? I'll kill him."
"Marnie, slow down," Steph said. "It's 'No' on all those things, but I need to see you. How about lunch on Saturday?"
I was planning to go shopping, but Steph sounded stressed. "Okay, can we meet at Checkers at the mall? I can then get some shopping done after lunch."
We agreed on a time and Steph rang off. To say she's my best friend would be a big understatement. She is more like my other half. Ever since we literally ran into each other freshman year of college, we've been the most important person in each other's lives. Well, that was until she met Cory about a year ago. I like him and seeing her happy is worth seeing her fewer and fewer times. I do miss her, though.
***
Seven Years Before
Living with forty other girls in a dorm took a lot of adjustment on my part. Coming to school as an only child, I was overwhelmed soon after my parents left me in my dorm room. I met my new roommate and I think we both immediately knew this was not a match made in heaven.
I was dressed in my usual classic-cut, pastel-colored outfit. She was bordering on Goth. I still did a hundred brush strokes a night in my soft brown hair while she ran her gel covered fingers through her hair that, when I first met her, was purple, but would also be pink, red, orange, green and a combination of all of those colors on any given day. Her name was Kimberly, but she insisted on being called "Chain". I said "Chain?" to be sure I heard right. She stared at me and asked if I had a problem with it. So, Chain and I began an uneasy co-habitation.
Before bed that first night, I changed into pj's in the bathroom. She stripped bare in front of me. I gawked at the two nipple rings, belly-button ring and shaved pubic area. I also noticed the star tattoo on her pubis, where everyone I knew had hair. She had a little heart on her hip, a tramp stamp resting above her butt and some sort of Chinese characters on the inside of her upper left bicep. Later in the semester, she added a ring in her, what can I say, sex lips. While I rarely said "damn," I think the only adjective she knew was "fucking."
In spite of how she had decorated her body, I had to admit she was attractive. With a bridge of light freckles across her nose, her face was pretty and wholesome-looking in sharp contrast to her dark make-up, nose ring and at least four piercings in each ear. The rings inserted in her long and hard nipples attracted attention to her small breasts. She was lean and toned. I tried not to stare at her bare pubis, but it was impossible not to notice the lack of hair while I was thinking about how tight her sex lips were. When she turned to get a t-shirt from her dresser, I evaluated her butt. The shape was not quite heart-like and her cheeks looked round and firm. I shook my head to stop staring. I wondered if I were going to be subjected to this nudity on a regular basis.
One week into my first semester and I was seriously thinking of calling my parents to come get me. I was homesick and hadn't met any friends. The number of women I had to deal with on a daily basis as we tried to get our showers in and bathroom duties completed was more than stressful. Trying to accommodate living with another person in the same room and adjusting to her frequent nudity was keeping me on edge. Then I ran into Steph-literally.
Coming out of the bathroom one morning, I was trying to balance my shower caddy with one hand and hold my towel in place with the other. I turned the corner to go down the corridor to my room and ran straight into Steph. She was headed to the bathroom and had her head down looking at her iPod. She screamed, my caddy went flying and I fell flat on my butt. My towel popped open and my breasts were on display.
Before I could even move, Steph bent over and started picking up my scattered shampoo, soap, conditioner and other stuff. She looked at me and smiled.
"Hi, I'm Stephanie Marshall. Sorry about knocking you on your ass. Nice tits, by the way."
I know I was scarlet with embarrassment, but managed to reply, "Marnie Adams. No problem, but I always thought they were kinda too small." I was more than a little impressed with my quick comeback, which wasn't typical for me, especially since it involved my own body.
Steph looked directly at my exposed breasts and then slowly upward until our eyes met. "Nah, they're good." She smiled, showing straight white teeth behind her full lips.
She lifted my shower caddy and stood, while I clumsily held my towel and gained my footing. After I re-secured the towel, I held out my hand for the caddy.
"Hey, Marnie Adams, let's have lunch today. When are you free?
"Uh, I'm finished at one."
"Meet you at the dining hall." She moved past me and disappeared round the corner.
I felt nervous as I walked into the dining hall. I didn't even know this girl and I had agreed to have lunch with her. Looking around, I finally spotted her leaning against a wall, her head moving to whatever was piping through her ear buds. She was dressed in jeans and a pink tank top. Her brown hair, pulled back into a loose pony tail, bounced in rhythm to the music I couldn't hear. Steph was about an inch or two taller than I was and had a much fuller figure. Her breasts filled out her tank top and as she swayed her hips, I could see her well-formed butt. She was also about the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.
She must have sensed me staring and looked up. A wide smile lit up her face and she walked toward me as she pulled the buds from her ears. Her brown eyes seemed to burn into mine.
"Yo, Marnie, you came. Thought you might stand me up."
"Uh, this isn't a date," I said. "Is it?"
"What? No, just happy to meet someone who could possibly be normal. All I've run into up to this point are Goths, Barbie-wannabes and drama queens. Not into girls, actually. Well, not up to this point. How about you?"
"How about me, what?"
"Are you into girls?"
I wanted to shout no, but no words were coming out of my mouth, which was suddenly totally dry and hanging open.
"Should I take that as a 'No'?" she said and grabbed my arm.
I was finally able to nod and croak out a "Straight" before my throat closed up completely.
Steph laughed again. "Come on, Straight Marnie, let's eat."
Over lunch we began to share our backgrounds. We were from different parts of Pennsylvania. Steph was from Pittsburgh in the west and I was from Scranton in the northeast. She had two sisters, both older and both graduates of the college in Philadelphia, where we now sat. Steph had an easy way about her and a sly sense of humor. She had me laughing through most of the meal.
"Marnie, I'm really happy we ran into each other. I think we could become friends. What do you say we hang out and see what happens?"
"I guess so," I replied.
"God, Marnie, relax. College is all about meeting people and making friends. Learning about life, taking chances, getting educated, and growing up. Well, I hope it's also all about meeting guys and getting laid. I am desperate to turn in my v-card. How about you?"
Once again, she lost me in her running train of thought. "How about me, what?"
"God, Marnie, are you a virgin or what?"
"I am definitely not an 'or what'", I said.
Steph laughed so loud other kids turned to look at us. "You know, I think you just might have a sense of humor buried in there."
I grinned and accepted what I hoped was a compliment.
Steph suggested we meet up for the dorm mixer on Friday night. I agreed and we were carrying our trays to the belt when she turned to me.
"Hey, I didn't mean to freak you out this morning, you know, with the nice tits thing. It's just that you looked so cute sitting there with your towel around your waist. And, they are nice tits."
"Really? You think so?"
"Definitely, Straight Marnie. Guys will be following you around to get their hands on them."
"That would be a first," I said.
"Ain't college great?" she replied and leaned in to kiss my cheek before heading back to the classroom building. I slowly walked back to my dorm and tried to figure out what just happened.
It took almost two months before I realized I had met my best friend in life and about the most important person I would ever know. Knowing Steph even helped me cope with Chain. Steph helped me see that the world was full of people not like us. I introduced them when Steph stopped by so we could go out for lunch on a Saturday. She invited Chain and I almost fainted. Chain declined the invite.
A week later Steph told me that she thought Chain was pretty cool and probably wanted to be accepted, just like everyone else.
"Why does she dress like that or have all the piercings and tattoos if she wants to be accepted?" I asked.
"Why do you look like you order your clothes from some 'Normal Girl' catalogues?" she teased.
"I dress like this because I like how I look?" I answered.
"And, because you think it will help you fit in to whatever notion you have about what the social order is," Steph countered.
"I never thought about it that way," I admitted.
"That's because you come from a stable home, are pretty and smart and probably don't have a lot of negative body issues."
Steph had pretty much hit the mark and I shrugged.
"Well, what if your parents had split, you had hardly any support from either one, including financial support, and you felt your body was undesirable? Do you think you might act and dress differently?"
"Maybe," I said. "Wait, are you saying that's the deal with Chain?"
"Have you talked to her about her life?" Steph asked.
"No, I didn't think she wanted to talk with me."
"She's intimidated by you, Marnie. You represent all the pretty girls in school who either never even acknowledged she existed or made fun of her."
"How do you know all this?" I asked.
"We have a psych class together and after I knew she was your roommate, I made it a point to talk with her."
"God, Steph, you are like way more pretty and popular than I am. I think she'd be more intimidated by you than she would by me. Did she really open up to you?"
"Yeah, I made a couple jokes and once she laughed, she was mine." Steph gave me her 1,000 watt smile.
"Marnie, Chain dresses, swears and acts the way she does as a defense. She assumes no one will like her for herself, so she creates a persona—that's a term I learned in class—that is designed to keep people away. If you notice, she really doesn't hang with the other Goths. She's really lonely."
