What Just Happened?
As we sat down with our coffees Bonnie suddenly blurted out in a whisper "I'm pregnant."
The cup rattled in the saucer as my hand started to shake and I placed it on the counter.
I'd known Bonnie a few years. We met at yoga and I instantly liked her for her self-deprecating quips about her body image. She was blond, with striking blue eyes, of medium build with a bit of an expanding tummy. But she had a way of referring to herself and her efforts to use yoga that made her immediately endearing.
We'd started having coffee after class, and chatting, at first about inanities of jobs and what was happening in the world. Then, a couple of months ago Bonnie seemed upset, and finally she confided that her husband (Bill, I think) and her had not been intimate in a couple of years. And by "a couple" she intimated it was longer.
So, this revelation was a bit of a shock. I mean, she certainly wasn't unattractive if a little overweight.
Bonnie was clearly distressed, shaking.
Not knowing exactly what to do I cautiously whispered, "well it's great you and Bill figured some things out, right?" I was focused on finding the positive of what after the revelation was clearly building further emotion in my friend.
"We still haven't..." she whimpered, dropping her head into her hands.
It took me a few moments to realize the implication of what she just said. And then all the questions started flooding my brain and I didn't know where to start.
"So," I started softly, "who?"
"I don't know."
And that answer only caused my brain to go into further overdrive. What did that mean? How could that be? What happened?
"Let's go to my place and talk about it," I said with an authority and maturity that actually shocked myself in that instant.
She nodded. We drove in silence, her blue eyes reddened with the distress, but with distance her shaking appeared to subside. She was taking deeper breaths, clearly trying to recalibrate, so I let her be. We arrived at my house and I started to make tea as Bonnie sat at the kitchen table.
"Do you want to tell me what happened," I finally found the courage to ask.
She nodded, seemingly willing to get this off her very ample chest.
"You know Anya, yes?" Anya was one of the yoga class participants, a tall brunette who more than one person had asked if I was her sister. I always took it as a compliment.
"We were chatting after a class," Bonnie continued, "and I mentioned not really getting out other than work and yoga, and she said she was having a small party. I initially declined, but she said it would be fun. So, in this new mindset, I put on my lipstick and decided to go."
She paused, sipping at the tea.
"Do you have anything stronger?"
Taken aback a little I looked at the cupboard.
"Scotch?"
"Perfect."
I figured I might need one myself with where this was going, so poured out two healthy helpings. Bonnie took a big gulp and burped slightly.
"I go to this party," and she air-quoted party, "and Anya answers the door in, basically, her underwear. I mean yellow bra, nude color panties, that was it. And I just think I might be early and she's still getting ready. But she walks me to the living room and there are about six or seven people sat around. And I immediately notice one of the women is fully naked."
I'm trying to get my brain in gear, as I have no idea where this is going.
"Then a man stands up," she continues, "and he's naked, too, and I suddenly realize I have no idea what I just walked into."
Brain now imploding.
"He just held out his hand to shake and I'm desperately trying not to look down at his thing just hanging there right in front of me."
I scoffed as I failed to stop the visual forming in my mind.
"I know, right. Seeing Anya in underwear was not a big shock, you know, with yoga, but as I look around there's naked guy—turns out he's called Mark—and then the naked lady stands up and introduces herself as Helen. Must be in her 50s. The other three men, all casually hanging out in shorts and t-shirts watching some sports on TV, introduce themselves. It's surreal, I mean, I don't know what to think."
I didn't know what to think, either. I thought this was going to be a very different story.
I was lost for words, so I just took a big gulp of the scotch and retrieved the bottle from the cupboard because I figured we might both need it.
"Anya brought in a big drinks tray," Bonnie continued, "and everyone just started small-talk chatting."
Maybe I could start to see where this was heading.
"I was chatting with naked Mark about nothing in particular and realized a few of the other people, including Anya, were gone. But why would I be concerned? And I excused myself to find the bathroom."
I refilled both our glasses, and Bonnie nodded in appreciation. She took another few deep breaths.
"Do you want to keep telling me what happened," I asked, somewhat defensively, "it's okay, whatever you want."
"I opened a door, looking for a bathroom," Bonnie stated, clearly moving on.
"And...?" I whispered.
"Well, let's just say it was a bedroom, and one of the ladies was sitting on one of the men whose t-shirt and shorts were right in front of the door. I only saw her back, some side boob, and the tattoo. I closed it as silently as I could, but I'm pretty sure the man lifted his head and looked at me."
"This is..." I didn't have the words as I was desperately trying to find something to say to appease Bonnie.
She took another gulp of the scotch. And I wasn't sure she was going to continue.
