My name is Brenda and I am a fat chick. I admit it. Some women don't like to hear it and they've got negative imagery associated with that word. I don't. I accept myself just the way I am. I'm going to shock you people by being honest about myself and about my sex life. I stand five feet eleven inches tall and I weigh exactly two hundred and thirty pounds. I've got short brown hair and pale blue eyes. My skin is dark bronze. I'm a big girl and I am proud. I've even got a Fat And Proud shirt somewhere in my closet and I wear it often. Why be ashamed of who you are? Admit it and be strong about it, and nobody will be able to use it against you.
Okay, let's see. What can be said about my life? I work in the back room of Sears lifting heavy boxes with the guys. I don't mind lifting boxes or working with the guys. They're fun to work with. They're funny, and once they see that you're an okay person, they treat you like one of their own. I like that about men, the honesty of their ways. Working with women always aggravates me. I'm just being honest. When I'm not at Sears working, I am taking up Criminal Justice at the local community college. I want to become a cop someday. My father was a cop and my mother once worked as a district attorney. You can see that law enforcement runs in the family.
I do fairly well for myself. I can afford to pay rent for my apartment and when I can, I leave the small town of Brockton behind and head for the lights of Boston. Boston is my favorite city. I love going there. One of my favorite places to go is inside Copley Mall. It's so pretty in there, even though I can't afford most of the things they sell in there. I love the place. What I don't like are the stuffy rich people who look at me funny when they see me. I can't stand them. Just because they're rich and powerful doesn't mean they're better than me.
I've got a story to tell. It's about a time when I went to Boston and found myself bored out of my skull. I was hanging out with my friend Roger. Roger is a big and tall black guy. He's around six-foot-three and jet-black. He's built like a linebacker. The guy is huge and looks intimidating, even though he's one of the nicest people I know. Roger lives in Brockton too. He works as a security guard at the mall. I must admit that I've got a bit of a crush on Roger. He's a handsome black guy. He's also really nice. I've had fantasies about him for a long time. In one of them, we're both naked in a hot tub together. Yeah, he's hot. He has admirers of both sexes everywhere he goes. He's really cool. We've been friends for a while. I was there for him when his girlfriend Patricia left him for another man. That was hard on him but eventually he got over it.
Yeah, so one time, I went to Boston to chill with Roger. Usually, it's just the two of us but now there was a third party. Roger introduced me to a tall, slender Latin guy named Hector. Hector was good-looking and sexy in a Latin stud kind of way but his clothes were way too tight on his body. The dude looked gay. I've got nothing against gay people. Hector simply didn't seem like the kind of person that Roger would hang out with. Roger was a rugged, masculine Black man. Hector was a handsome but delicate-looking Latin flamer. At the time, I thought it looked suspicious but I didn't put two and two together until much later.
Roger, Hector and I sat inside Burger King and talked. Roger had finally earned himself an Associate's degree in Criminal Justice from Massasoit and was considering heading to the University of Massachusetts to get his Bachelors. Like me, Roger wanted to become a police officer. I would get my degree within a few months and then head to the university myself. Hector was by far the most educated yet the dumbest person at the table. He had a Bachelors degree in Business Management from Bay State College. Also, he had a Master's degree from Boston University. He was currently working as an executive on State Street. Yes, the guy was educated. I wondered if Roger knew that the smart dude was also a closet case. All answers would be revealed in time.
Hector said he had some business to take care of downtown and Roger decided to leave with him. I sighed. I could not believe that Roger had left me to eat by myself inside Burger King. I've got unpleasant memories of eating alone inside high school cafeterias and for this reason, I hated eating alone anywhere. Oh, well. It looked like Roger liked hanging out with his fruity friend more than he liked hanging out with me. I pulled a comic book out of my backpack and began reading it. I don't carry a purse. I read the graphic novel. It's the new Spiderman comic book, the one where he fights a female villain who mimics the powers of her enemies. I wanted Spiderman to take down the bitch. I flipped through the comic while mowing down my two burgers and coke.
Half an hour later, I left the table and went into the bathroom. I didn't really feel like using the bathroom but I still wanted some privacy for what I felt like doing. Believe it or not, people, girls masturbate inside bathrooms too. It's not just men doing it. I thought of Roger's fantastic body. I pictured him in my mind. A tall, naked Black stud with a big dick. I wanted some of that. I slid one of my fingers into my pussy and started jabbing myself furiously with it. I grabbed a thick pen from my pocket and slid it into my anus. I slid the thick pen deep into my ass, loving the feel of it. It felt good. Furiously I fucked myself, using my fingers and my pen to drill both of my holes. I came, moments later. A scream escaped my lips before I could stop it.
A few minutes later, I left Burger King. I had a smirk on my face. I headed downtown. There was a nice movie theater there and I wanted to see a new movie. I picked Firewall. It's a cool action movie that received great reviews. I hated chick flicks and romantic comedies. I went inside the theater, and was surprised to discover that there weren't many people around. Inside, there were only two men. I headed to the top rows. The two men were currently kissing. I smiled. For some reason, watching men doing sexual stuff with other men has always turned me on. My vision is not the best. Only when I reached the top rows did I notice that there was something familiar about the two men I had seen. Roger and Hector were kissing!
I couldn't have been more shocked if lightning had stricken me. The guy I liked was kissing another guy! They stopped kissing, and looked at me. I asked Roger point-blank if he was gay. Roger looked at me with wild eyes. He said that what he was doing wasn't anybody's business. I apologized and walked away. Hector smirked at me. I shook my head. You think you know someone and then one day you realize that you really don't.
I watched the movie, but my mind really wasn't into it. I couldn't believe that Roger was gay. He was so handsome and masculine. He was so strong and smart. Most gay men I knew were pretty obvious. Why hadn't he told me? I had been friends with the guy for two years. I had a crush on him. He could have told me. Oh, man. I just hoped he wasn't going to stop being friends with me over that careless remark I had made earlier. I hadn't been thinking straight. I was shocked, that's all. Would Roger still want me in his life?
The movie ended and I headed outside. I looked at the couples walking out of the theater, people who had come after me. A red-haired girl held hands with a tall Asian guy. A big blond guy held hands with a slim brunette woman. A young Black couple strode through the hall, heading for the staircase. All those people looked so happy. I wasn't happy. I was alone. I had always been alone. I was twenty three years old, poor and alone. I had never even had a lover in my life. I was the world's oldest virgin.
I noticed Roger and Hector coming out of the theater together. I had to admit that they both looked very good together. They weren't holding hands but Roger had his arm around Hector. Hector looked happy. I smiled sadly. I was a big white girl who was also a virgin. I had fallen in love with a masculine Black man who had a thing for Hispanic men. Life can sure be funny sometimes. I would have laughed if it weren't happening to me. I waited until they came near me, then I spoke to Roger. I apologized for what I had said, blaming it on shock. I waited expectantly for his reply. Roger smiled and shook my hand. Hector rolled his eyes but shook my hand as well. His grip was surprisingly strong. Roger told me that Hector was his boyfriend and that was that. I accepted that, smiled and wished them well before walking away.
That night, as I lay in my bed, I thought about Roger doing it with Hector. I pictured them both naked. A tall Black stud and a Latin stallion. I visualized Roger taking Hector doggy-style, and watched them going at it. Roger thrust his cock into Hector, and Hector groaned in pleasure. Hector stroked himself as Roger fucked him. Roger was a very energetic top, drilling Hector's bottom for all he was worth. Hector moaned and screamed in pleasure, clearly loving it. Roger continued pounding his cock into Hector's butt for a long time, then he came and pulled out. Hector moaned in pleasure. Roger pulled him into his strong arms for a passionate kiss. They embraced. Two lovers. It was primal and sexual. It was beautiful. I was very jealous.
The next time I saw Roger was at work. During our break, we went someplace for lunch and talked. He was once more comfortable to talk to me. He told me that the real reason why he left his girlfriend was because she couldn't handle the fact that he was bisexual. I beamed at that. Roger considered himself bisexual. He liked both men and women. He was not gay. There was still a chance that somehow, someday, he might like me. He told me that he met Hector a month after leaving his former girlfriend. Hector was handsome, successful and completely out of the closet. Hector came from a wealthy family and made a nice life for himself in the city. I listened, envious. I noticed how Roger's eyes lit up when he spoke of Hector. I wished his eyes would light up like this when he thought of me. Still, wishful thinking gets you nowhere.
