I'm going to start by saying Stacey is not my real name but what I'm about to tell you is a completely honest confession of what has been going on for the past 6 years without my best friend, Claire knowing. Well not the whole truth anyway.
We have been friends since we were 3 years old and we are both 24 now. We even went to the same school and university together, both graduating with a law degree. Neither of us were stupid.
Claire is gorgeous, she can get any man she wants, and usually does. She has dark hair and eyes, such a beautiful slim figure with pert 32C boobs. She has men eating out of the palm of her hand.
I'm not so lucky. Although men do seem to love my curves. I have a big bum and big boobs (36F) but men always go for Claire first. I'm 5"8 with long blonde hair so almost the exact opposite of Claire. She is petite and I'm what they call a PAWG (I've been called that sooooo many times).
Just so you know, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. The reason I am confessing now is because I know I have to tell Claire the truth and I'm just wondering how much I should actually tell her.
Let me go back to the start, to when we were both 18 and had just started Newcastle university. There wasn't much else to do in Newcastle apart from get drunk and party, and boy did we party. I'm surprised we even graduated at all.
A few months into our course, as always happens, Claire had several fellow students chasing her and she was certainly testing them all out, shall we say. I do know at one point she was sleeping with 6 different men. It sounds awful but we were young and just having fun. Well Claire was at least.
She eventually settled for a guy called Shaun, a tall blonde muscled rugby player who was incredibly handsome and a real charmer.
We were having one of our late night hall parties, which often went on into the early hours of the next morning and would have 60-70 people in attendance. Shaun's best mate Gavin was usually in charge of the music and Claire would often be found dancing seductively in the middle of the room attracting a lot of attention.
"You're jealous of her aren't you?"
I had been sat on my own in the corner of the room, sipping on a rather warm, flat jack daniels and coke, drunk and stoned, completely in my own little world.
"Eh?" I said looking up to see Shaun standing over me.
"You're jealous of her. All the attention she gets. Aren't you?" He said again.
I scoffed. "She's my best mate. No. She has always been like this."
Shaun sat down next to me. "While you sit unnoticed in the corner nursing your drink. Seems a little unfair when you are such a great laugh."
I get that a lot. I'm a great laugh.
I mock laughed. "Yer Shaun. Im real funny."
"I'm being serious. Don't be so hard on yourself."
I didn't want to be a 'great laugh', I wanted to be sexy and seductive like my best friend. I admit, I would study her to see what she did and could I copy it, but I never could, I just wasn't confident enough.
I sat watching Claire and Shaun dance along with a load of other people. The room was packed so no one really noticed me. I could feel my eyes getting heavy and I'm sure at points I drifted off to sleep despite the loud, banging music.
I'm not sure how long had passed but Shaun came sauntering back.
"Fancy a quick spliff in my room?" He said quietly and grabbed my hand without waiting for an answer.
We dashed down the corridor to his room and pushed the door open to a room filled with smoke. I instinctively coughed.
"It's like a forest fire in here." I joked
There was about 8 people in his room, including us. Claire jumped up when she saw me, running and giving me a big hug.
"Babbbbbbbyyyyyy. I am so fucking stoned." She said giggling, clearly stoned and drunk. "Come sit with me and Shaun. Come on Stace. Down by me."
Claire pulled both of us down onto the bed and shoved a spliff into my hand.
"Puff. It's fucking amazing." She said urging me on.
I took a quick drag and was encouraged to take a few more, which I did. It didn't take long for me to feel kinda woozy. I held Claire's and Shaun's hand to keep me from fainting. The booze and the weed combined was causing the room to spin and without warning I passed out.
When I awoke I was laying on the bed next to Claire who had also passed out. I looked around the room but it appeared we were on our own.
I honestly don't know what possessed me to do what I did next.
I nudged Claire to see if she was awake but she didn't even murmur. She was out of it. I looked at my best friend sleeping next to me and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to get her undressed and into bed.
I slowly unzipped her red dress from behind and pulled it off over her arms and down her legs. She was wearing a tiny black thong and matching bra. Good choice I remember thinking. I rolled her over so she was now led on her back.
My mind started to race. "Ok so she's cute. Really cute. I can see why men fancy her. But I bet she's not all that in bed. I bet she doesn't even try."
I was letting my jealousy get the better of me and I hated that. I lay down next to her and took a selfie on my phone to show her the next day the state she had gotten into.
I reached around behind her and unhooked her bra, freeing her gorgeous firm, tanned tits. I lowered my mouth to her nipple and took another selfie. I chuckled to myself with that one, she was going to kill me.
Suddenly the door swung open and Shaun stumbled through. I collapsed on top of Claire and pretended I was asleep.
"Fucking hell." Shaun exclaimed at the site of his girlfriend topless in bed with her best mate.
I heard him lock the door and I must admit I did start to panic. What the fuck was he going to do?
"You naughty pair. Have you been fucking?" He slurred.
I heard him pull out his phone and take several pictures of us. I was not happy with that but I didn't want him to know that I was awake. I let it go, hell after all, I wasn't the naked one.
Shaun climbed onto the bed and pushed me to one side so I was still face down.
"Sorry Stace. My turn."
I had to pretend I was asleep as Shaun fucked his comatosed girlfriend right next to me. It was a bizarre experience of disgust and anger but also made me incredibly horny. I could feel my clit tingling the entire time he was pumping his cock into Claire. I was dying to touch myself but I didn't, I refrained.
It wasn't long before Shaun was cumming deep in Claire's pussy and screaming that he was cumming. Thank god that was over.
Shaun slumped down in the middle of us, cuddled up to Claire and proceeded to fall asleep. My plan was to give it 10 minutes and then creep out of the room back to my halls. It didn't quite happen that way as I passed out myself.
The sun beamed in through the window, waking me with a start.
"What the fuck...." I said shielding my eyes.
I looked up to see Shaun had opened the curtains.
"Fuck that was some party eh Stace."
I just groaned my approval.
Looking to my left I realise Claire was no longer in bed.
"Ummmmm Shaun. Where's Claire?" I asked a little confused.
"Oh she left she's ago. You've been asleep for a ages. It's 2pm."
I glanced at my watch through squinted eyes. Bloody hell 10 past 2. I had been asleep for ages.
"Fancy getting stoned again. Or drunk. Or both." Shaun asked.
"Good god. No. No way. I'd be ruined." I answered hastily.
"Awwww come on. Claire's got that play to rehearse for. Why don't we do something?"
I really didn't want to move but I did want my own bed.
"Look. Let's lock the door, stay in bed, watch some shit tv and get stoned." Shaun suggested once again. "Claire can join us when she finishes."
In the moment, it all felt innocent enough so I went with Shaun's suggestion. I still had my dress on from the night before and he could see that I was looking to take it off without him noticing.
"Go on. It's ok. I won't look."
I pulled the dress over my head, threw it in to the corner of the room and ducked back under the covers.
Shaun took over his shirt to reveal his huge chest, back and arms. He was ripped. He jumped under the covers.
"I'm not sure Claire would be ok with this." I told him, thinking about my best friend.
"Claire wouldn't care and you know it."
He didn't know her like I did, she definitely wouldn't be happy. We settled down to watch tv as Shaun rolled a joint for us to share. We laughed and had fun together, it was nice but I had to remember he was my best friend's fella and not to get too carried away with the moment. I also had to remember that we were both stoned as we lay there giggling about the most random of things.
As we watched tv we had moved closer to each other and eventually I was led in bed wearing just my underwear on Shaun's chiselled naked chest. I felt safe. Strange emotions were coursing through my body. Did Claire really love him or was she just using him for sex?
I knew she would be furious if she walked in at that exact moment despite how Shaun might have played it down.
We were laughing about something random when Shaun asked me outright. "So who are you into at the moment?"
"Into?"
"Yer you know. Boys, girls. Whatever. Who are you sleeping with?"
He made it sound like everybody needed sex and I should have a number of options lined up.
"Errrrr no one." I replied, a little offended.
"What!!! Really. Bloody hell. I thought you'd have loads of men after you."
I wasn't sure to be flattered or offended by his comments. I decided to open up.
"Men just see me as a good laugh. One of their mates. They never fancy me. They fancy Claire....or people like Claire."