A Woman's Bucket List
Danica and her three best friends were camped out once again in Janet's living room. Comfy clothes, margueritas, and a Bill Burr comedy special were their accoutrements of choice for the evening. It was their once-a-month "Girls Night Out," an overnight ladies-only social gathering at Janet's house that had long ago passed into sacred tradition. The women found it a necessary and therapeutic evening of decompression from life's hassles, and they had no problem kicking out Janet's husband Luther and the kids and completely letting go. They stayed up late, drank too much, talked even more, and passed out where they fell. Their time together always ended the next morning with brunch at their favorite local café.
On this particular Saturday night, Danica and her crew had something specific in mind for the evening's activities. They had gathered to talk about Janet's upcoming birthday. It was the big one, the big four-oh. Yuki's fortieth birthday was two weeks after, and Danica and Terri would both hit forty later in the year. The four of them had therefore decided that they needed to do something special on Janet's birthday, something momentous that would be for all of them. They wanted a memorable way to celebrate passing out of "fuckability" -- as Janet called it -- and into the realm of "older and wiser."
Not that any of them agreed with the idea of a woman not being physically desirable beyond forty, but it was still an age milestone that they felt should be honored with something truly significant.
So, Terri suggested they go through their bucket lists and explore all the things they wanted to try before they passed into the Great Beyond. It was an effective method of brainstorming, Danica had to admit. Adding margueritas to the mix really expanded their minds -- or soddened their brains, depending on how one looked at it. Either way, they were having a fantastically hilarious time tossing out ideas. The highlight of the night was the notion floated in an offhand manner by Janet, curled up in a blanket and staring into the fireplace.
Janet was a petite black woman with enormous dimples in her cheeks and a radiant smile that lit up a room. She had built a modest career as an interior decorator, married a fireman, and lived a relatively simple life with three little girls and her husband. She tended to be agreeable to a fault, following along whatever path in life her girlfriends or husband walked, even if it wasn't her thing. Janet might grumble and gripe about it, but she always gave in after some prodding. At the moment, she was listening silently as Danica and Terri argued over Yuki's proposal to take a week's vacation to the Grand Canyon and Sedona.
Into a pause in the conversation, the other three were startled when Janet, her chin resting on her arm and staring into the fire, wistfully said, "I've never had sex with a guy with a big cock before."
Her friends erupted into laughter.
"Okay," Yuki giggled. "I don't think I can top that!"
"
That's
on your bucket list?" Terri asked, snorting with laughter.
Janet laughed along with them. "Did I say that out loud?" she asked, which sent them off into fresh gales of merriment.
"Where'd
that
come from?" Danica chuckled. "We just learned a little something about Luther, I think."
"No, no," Janet retorted. "It's not like that." She shrugged apologetically. "I was goofing around online a couple of days ago, looking up some porn. Luther's been down south for a week with that big fire outside Mayville, and I was feeling... well, you know." She smiled in reminiscence. "This one video I found had a guy with a really big, thick cock. He was working over this girl, and she really looked like she was into it, you know? Not, like, fake... or I don't think she was faking. Maybe she's a good actress, I don't know. It just got me thinking, that's all. It's not really on my bucket list, it was just a random thought I had."
"Most of the men in porn have big dicks," Danica pointed out. "I think it's a requirement or something."
"I wonder if they send recruiters out to find these guys," Yuki pondered with a grin. "Most men aren't built like that."
Danica threw her head back with laughter. "Recruiters?? Like sports agents? What do they do, cruise the college locker rooms inspecting all the danglies?"
"Have you only been with Luther all this time?" Terri asked Janet.
"I dated some guys before him," Janet replied. "I've slept with maybe... oh, five other guys? Six? None of them had big dicks, though. So, well, watching that video made me wonder if I've been missing something."
"Sex hasn't been any good for you?" Danica peered at her, genuinely curious.
"Oh, no, don't get that idea in your head," Janet hastily responded, frowning at Danica. "I've had some good times, ladies! Luther can hit it
juuuuust
right when he's in the zone, and there was this white guy a year after high school that -- oh my god -- the boy had a golden tongue. None of 'em were 'big' men, though, if you know what I mean." She grimaced. "Two of 'em were, um, kinda small. I felt bad for them. Luther ain't small, but he ain't big either, you know?"
"I've never had a big dick either, Janet," Terri admitted, shrugging. Terri was an advertising executive who was on her third marriage. Blonde, pretty, and athletic, she was a restless, fiery soul who never seemed to find someone who could manage her mercurial mood swings and high maintenance tastes. Her friends had the feeling that her latest marriage was on the verge of ending, too. "I've been with a lot of guys, but I don't think any of them could be called 'big.'"
"What about you, Yuki?" Danica asked, amused by the topic of conversation. "Is Carl walking around hunched over all the time because he's carrying a heavy load between his legs?"
Yuki was a lovely Asian-Danish mix, retaining the exotic looks of her Japanese mother, but boasting the tall, full-figured comeliness of her Scandinavian forebears. She was a stay-at-home mother who took her stay-at-home responsibilities quite seriously, raising her two boys with meticulous care and maintaining her house in pristine shape. She also carried around a large pair of breasts that Janet always called Yuki's "men magnets." If she wore a bikini and walked down a busy street, she'd cause an accident.
Yuki smiled sheepishly in response to Danica's question. "I've never been with a man with a big penis before either," she murmured, slightly embarrassed. She was rarely comfortable discussing intimate details about her love life.
Danica clapped her forehead in mock amazement. "I don't believe I'm hearing this," she laughed. "You two are both married to black guys," she remarked, darting glances at Yuki and Janet. "I thought black guys were supposed to be-
"That's always been bullshit," Janet interrupted, scoffing. "Black guys are like all the rest -- some are carrying, most aren't."
"Carl isn't little, Danica," Yuki interjected defensively.
"He's not big either, right?" Danica asked.
"Well, no, not like Janet was describing."
"How about you, Dani?" Terri inquired, squinting at her.
Danica leaned back into the couch with a self-satisfied smirk.
"Ha!" Terri cackled, clapping her hands in delight. "Tony's got a stick between his legs, girls!"
Danica laughed. "More like a tree trunk," she countered, grinning. "He's like eight inches or something. I measured him back when we first started dating, so I don't remember exactly what it was, but it's something like that. And he's really thick, too."
"Wow," Yuki shook her head.
"Yeah," Danica replied. Danica was tanned and thickset; she had been battling weight issues for years. She was 'pleasantly chunky,' as Janet described her -- a phrase that irritated Danica enormously, although she knew Janet meant well. Her hair was so blonde it looked bleached, and she kept it cut short in a layered bob. Danica was a 4
th
-grade teacher at an elementary school, and her husband Tony taught chemistry at the Community College. Danica looked the part, too, sporting glasses and frequently slipping into her 'teacher-speak' when trying to explain things to others. Danica and Terri were essentially the dominant pair in their little band, and friction between the women was usually settled by the blonde duo.
"What's it like?" Janet asked, intrigued.
"Is it better when it is bigger?" Yuki added.
"It depends on the guy," Danica shook her head. "I dated a boy in college who was almost as big as Tony, but it always really hurt when we had sex. He didn't really know how to use it. On the other hand, there was another guy I dated right after college who was only half of Tony's size, and sex with him was pretty amazing. If he hadn't cheated on me, I might still be with him."
"It's not how deep you fish, it's how you wriggle the worm, gentlemen," Terri announced loudly, lifting her drink to the sky and laughing.
"Is Tony good?" Janet asked.
"Tony is fucking incredible," Danica responded smugly. "Sorry for gloating, I know that's not cool, but my man is a fucking immortal in bed."
Terri sighed. "Bitch," she grumbled.
"Trent not hitting it right?" Janet needled.
"Trent is not hitting it right," Terri confirmed. "Two years into marriage, and he now has a potbelly, a bad drinking habit, and a little dick that I only get to see twice a week if I'm lucky."
"His dick shrunk? Marriage to you can do that?"
"Har har. He always had a little dick, but at least he used it well and made me happy. Now he can't seem to be bothered."
"Carl is a good lover," Yuki shrugged, blushing again. "I guess it's okay that I've never been with a man with a big dick. Many men will never be with a woman with boobs like mine, so I guess it is only fair." She grinned impishly as the girls hooted and hollered at her.
"Well, let's get back to planning this thing," Terri suggested, leaning back on the couch. "How about we try-
"No, let's stay with this for a minute," Danica interrupted her, a wicked gleam in her eye. "Maybe... we can do something with this idea."
"Like what?" Janet asked, perplexed. Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "Buy each other a monster dildo and have a masturbation session on my birthday?"
"Kinky," Danica laughed. "But, no, a dildo isn't really the same. I should know. It is
so
