"What the fuck did you do?!" Lee said angrily. "I'm just getting used to the fact that my daughter has a girlfriend, which is totally cool by the way, and now she wants to
share her with me
at an
orgy
?!"
"Oh boy," I said.
I thought Emma would be cool with what I had told her and how we left things, but hey, she's young, and knowing what to say and when to say it is a learned skill that takes time. And Lee, I really thought she'd be happy that I'd helped to break some of that ice she had been talking about, but some ice needs to thaw on its own I guess.
"I'm sorry Lee," I said dejectedly. "They were asking about parties and . . . I don't know, the conversation went were it shouldn't have gone I guess. Emma asked about you . . . she was cool with it though. She said she was worried about you after the divorce, and she's glad you're having fun again. I didn't tell her any details or anything. It was nothing I thought you wouldn't tell her yourself if she'd asked. You guys are pretty open these days."
"Fuck," Lee said, and she finally sat down next to me on the porch futon. "Being 'open' isn't as easy as it sounds. Kids are a trip I'll tell ya."
"I'll try and do better, I'm sorry," I said. "But you guys all read me like a book, and I've always hated lying. But it's my fault. I could have gotten out of that conversation if I'd tried."
"Did you invite them to an orgy?" Lee asked, looking at me like I was a nut job.
"No, nothing like that was ever said. At least I don't think so," I said. "They did sorta say they'd like to go to one, with each other. And then the thing about you saying it was 'good to fuck in front of her', you know, last week when she walked in on us? I don't know, the way the conversation went she started putting it all together. I should have shut it down though. It was stupid of me."
"I'm as responsible as you are," she said, sounding calmer. "I guess it's just part of the process — having an open, adult relationship with them. But sharing her girlfriend with me . . . that's just . . ."
"Is she hot or is she not?" I said, smiling and trying to lighten the mood.
"Ha!" Lee said, with her first smile. "She's hot, that's for sure."
"She thinks you are too," I said, still smiling.
Lee looked at me with a look of utter bemusement and wonder. "Where did my life go off the rails . . . Oh yeah! When
you
moved in!" she said, giving my arm a painful pinch. "All I ever wanted was a nice quiet heterosexual relationship with a kind, gentle man . . ."
"What, I'm not kind and gentle?" I said with a smile.
"Fuck!" she said quietly, shaking her head. "What's that old saying — you live in the fast lane you die in the fast lane?"
"The slow lane's for old ladies baby," I said, and I kissed her.
———————
A couple days later Lee was still confused and wondering how to deal with the situation. She hadn't seen Emma much to talk to, and was clearly still conflicted about their 'open' relationship.
"You wanna talk to Ally again about her experience with her daughter?" I asked.
"No, I don't think so," she said.
"You wanna lick Lexie's pussy?" I asked, figuring sometimes it's good to rip the band-aid off quick.
"
Steve!
" she said, and I could see on her face that she didn't want to answer.
"If you were a guy I'd already know the answer to that question," I said. "So it's no big deal if the answer's yes. It doesn't mean you have to do it."
"Yes! Okay? Are you happy?" she said.
"I'm always happy, and so are you," I said. "That's why I love you."
"I know," she said. "I'm just tense. I need to get past this."
"You need to sit down and talk to Emma," I said. "Text her and tell her you need a couple hours. Tell her you can't talk about that stuff anymore, and resume the mother/daughter thing, or tell her you're gonna let things flow, and let the chips fall where they may. I doubt if anything bad will come out of either decision. Life has a way of working out, especially in happy families like you guys."
"Okay Yoda. Yoda with a big cock," she smiled. "Help me with
this
then, the thing that's
really
twisting my brain.
Incest
. It makes me feel ill just thinking about it, and this is all perilously close to it."
"Ah, okay," I said. "Now were gettin' somewhere. You know, there's no rules that say
everything's
gotta be wide open. Set up some boundaries. Just watching your kid have sex isn't incest is it? I don't think of it that way."
"Having not done it yet, I'm not sure how I'd feel about it," she said. "I've certainly
heard
her having sex, and that doesn't bother me. I find it strangely comforting, knowing that she's feeling that kind of pleasure and happiness, when the world's so full of stuff that can make you feel rotten."
"Good, good," I said, "Okay, so would adding the visual to the audio be that much different, that much of a leap? As it is now you've got a sheetrock wall between you, or a wooden door, but you can hear her, and you're picturing what's happening, and you're cool with it. What's really so different about seeing it instead of picturing it? I don't know about you, but I find watching people have sex incredibly beautiful. Especially if the participants are beautiful."
"I do to," she said, smiling a little. "Are you trying to sell me on something here?"
"No, we can talk about the bad side too," I said. "Is there one?"
"Probably a lot of things," she said. "But I can't think of any."
"There ya go," I said with a smile.
"Wow," she said with a big sigh. "This is nutty. I'm sittin' here taking advice from crazy orgy man himself."
"Hey, I'm not trying to steer you wrong," I said. "I'll help you get out of this if that's what you want. I'll talk to Emma."
"I know," she said, snuggling against my arm. "So . . . boundaries . . . what would I say? I won't touch you and you can't touch me? Sounds kinda childish."
"It doesn't matter what it sounds like — she'd understand," I said. "She might feel the same way about it. You should sit down and talk to her. It might lead somewhere, or it might lead right away from it all. You're both thoughtful, loving people, and it'll go where it's supposed to go. You know, it doesn't have to be a big orgy party either, although having more people participating might actually make it easier. But if you want, you could come over next time she and Lexie are here and join in."
"Oh there's gonna be a next time with them huh? Jesus, you are the luckiest dog in the kennel," she said, with another painful pinch of my arm. "No, I think having more people around would definitely be better. There could be more 'detachment' if I find I need it."
"So, hypothetically, just spit-ballin' here, if you both decide to do this, where would you wanna do it and who would you want to be there?" I asked. "Would you want me to organize something here?"
"No, somewhere neutral, but nice," she said. "Lindsey's I guess. Wow, that place would blow those kids minds."
"That's what it's all about right?" I said.
"Yeah," she said, with a smile that looked like she was remembering how her own mind was blown at Lindsey's.
"Adult fun for adults of all ages," I said, and Lee shook her head as she smiled some more.
———————
My guitar lesson the next week was fun. Lexie was a good, lighthearted teacher who really knew her stuff and made it fun to learn. She showed me two new strumming patterns to work on and a new chord shape to get used to. I was practicing every evening, and really happy with my progress. After the lesson she got flirty.
"It's too bad Emma had to work, but I could stay a little while," she said, looking nearly irresistible.
"I'd love to sweetheart, but I wouldn't feel right without Emma here," I said.
"Yeah I know," she said with a sigh. "Me neither."
"You guys good?" I asked.
"Yeah," Lexie said, with a sweet smile that said a lot. "I've never had a real relationship with a girl before — it's always just been sex fun, you know? But Emma, she's . . ."
"Yeah, I know," I said. "She's a real catch. You're a lucky girl, and so is she."
Lexie looked dreamy-eyed for a few moments, thinking about Emma. "Hey, you should come see the band again next weekend," she said. "We're playing that festival up at Silver Stage. Emma's coming up. You ever been there? It's really cool."
"Oh, Yeah, I've been there," I said. "I love that place. I went to the fest they have later in the summer last year with a woman friend of mine. We met a real hippie girl named Peep and she spent the whole weekend with us in my trailer. Needless to say, it was
quite
enjoyable."
"Yeah, that place is quite the party," she said. "Your trailer looks really cool. What's it like inside?"
I took her outside to have a look. I built a simple open carport to keep it and my truck under in the winter, and I was able to leave the windows in it open, so it was nicely aired out.
"Oh my god, this is awesome," Lexie said, and she flopped down on the bed, her silky long hair going every which-way. She had that 'I sure wish Emma was here so we could play' look on her face again.
"It's an old Airstream from the fifties," I said. "It is pretty cool, I should use it more."
"Silver Stage!" she said. "Bring it!"
———————
Lee and I drove in to the festival campground amidst the hippified youth of upstate New York and set up our little trailer. She had been wanting to see Lexie play with her band, the weather was perfect, and she was able to swap work days with a co-worker at the hospital to get a couple days off.
"God, this is a young crowd isn't it? I feel old," she said, looking around at our neighbors.
"Don't worry, we'll be far from the oldest," I said. "A lot of older dead-heads like this place. It's a nice mix."
We set up the awning and the battery powered twinkle lights, broke out some chairs and sat down with a beer.
"This is so cool," Lee said contentedly.
"The next time you can string three days in a row together we'll take it up to the Adirondacks," I said.
"Oh!" she said, looking very happy.
"You guys!" Emma said, waving both her arms as she walked towards us with Lexie past some rickety looking tents. "This is so awesome! I've never seen it all set up before! I love this thing! It looks like a little space ship!"
We all hugged and Emma took two beers out of the cooler.
"You know I'm gonna be drinking, right?" Emma said, looking at her mom.
"I know honey," Lee said. "I was twenty once too you know."
Emma's mouth curled up in a 'my mom's so cool' kind of way. "Lexie's band's got a big motorhome," she said. "One of the guys got it from his uncle for the weekend. They gave me and Lexie the nice bedroom."
"Well that was nice of them," Lee said, and she looked over at me, suddenly horrified at the various scenarios that could play out in there. "I may need Yoda later," she said quietly to me.
