"-So then he storms out of the bar expecting me to just run after him. But like, also I just KNOW that he'd be just as happy if I ignored him, because then he gets to accuse me of being mean and shit. UGH, like what do I do?!"
"Well, I-"
"It was a LOSE-LOSE situation right? Ughhh," Jam took a breath before hot swapping a swig of his iced coffee for his vape. I realized he was on a monologue again, and slunk down in the cabin staring off at the waves. The ferry surged forward, as Jam cackled and resumed.
"So I pulled a maneuver on him, I got blitzed! Can't be held responsible if I can't hold my liquor!" Again Jam laughed too loud, causing other passengers to glare in our general direction. I pushed my sunglasses up along the bridge of my nose and cursed my life. Slowly we lurched to the dock, the water churning up around us and giving me a reprieve from Jamil's braggadocio. We pushed to the front of the boat and ambled onto the path. Jam began another outrageous story as my mind began to drift.
I had been a 23 year old college student, newly out and utterly lost when I'd met Jamil at a bar. He had actually been the quieter part of a group I had gotten drug into, and it was a friend of his I ended up hooking up with that night. Our connection would come later as we bumped into one another on the apps. The conversation was gentle and flirtatious, and we chastely promised to wait a date or two before getting naked. In hindsight, I think the two of us were playing at a relationship, two young guys unsure of how to navigate their sexuality just crudely imitating a loving relationship so we could feel better about having sex. The whole thing lasted a month, and it was Jamil who pulled the trigger on the exit. With the safety of me as his quasi-boyfriend he quickly bloomed into an aggressive, sexually ravenous -in HIS words "homo-who-couldn't-say-no-no" who just about exploded onto the scene. Comparatively I was still a shy, unassuming bottom still looking for my footing. Jamil was concise and polite, he cared but was no longer interested- thus starting the tumultuous relationship we'd developed ever since.
He was out there and I was left out, too keen to bask in any attention he would offer, and embittered about his continued absence in my life. He grew his friend circle to include an array of sexual adventurers who remained impenetrable to my meek desires. I kinda hated myself for accepting his invitation to day drink at the nude beach on the island; not simply for how pitifully empty my social card was, but because I'd hoped to maybe get a little playtime with my ex.
Jamil just kept bouncing from one story to the next, spilling all the tea about who had cheated on whom as we shuffled through the dunes and walked beyond the Clothing Optional signs. It was a Monday so the sand was sparsely populated. A large breasted young woman sat on a towel reading a book and eating fruit while a leathery old man stood at the edge of the water watching the horizon, his long tanned cock waving in the breeze. I started to entertain idea of going completely nude, an act that might shock my ex into making a move- but when Jamil stopped to declare the "perfect spot" I was dismayed. The further down the beach you went, the more daring a couple of guys could be, and here we were, stopped about 50 yards shy of the promised land. Jamil began to spread out the towels as I let out a quiet sigh and dropped my backpack.
Figuring I could work to show my intentions, I decided to make a show of stripping down to my speedo. I pulled open my belt and slowly unzipped, hoping to catch Jamil's eye. He stayed kneeling and unaware as I hooked my thumbs into the sides of my shorts and slid them down. In my heart of hearts I was imagining him looking over and seeing my tropically printed bulge, being overcome with lust and uncharacteristically being the one to service me. Instead he glanced over as my shorts hit the ground, making eye contact and standing before pulling off his shirt. It was hard enough to maintain my composure with his hairy, dark brown tits out. A chest I had loved laying on and nuzzling my face into after sex- but when Jamil dropped trou, revealing he'd gone commando, and his cock uncoiled in the sun. I was about to lose my mind.
"Here, let me do you first" I nodded and looked off into the horizon as I raised my arms to the side and resigned myself to this torture. Jamil squirted a copious amount of sunscreen onto my back and began to smear the cream into my skin as he nakedly circled my body. There was part of me that wanted to tear off the speedo now, inviting him to "finish me off" but again, I wanted to maintain our friendship. Closing my eyes I could smell the coconut scent of the sunscreen as my body was covered. I could feel a brush of skin glancing across my thigh that I imagined was Jamil's limp, long cock. I was feeling exposed but far too protected. I'd left my speedo on, but it was really the way my ex had made me a docile, neutered being in his presence that removed any sense of danger or adventure. Perhaps I'd even had a twinge of humiliation in allowing this naked man to order me into position so he could chastely apply sun screen to my sexless form.
"All done,"
