You Promised 1

This is a short collection of meet-ups I had with the same guy. This story does contain elements of w/s.

I have replayed it over and over in my head 1,000,000 times and it produces extreme feelings in me every time. I am curious what you think about me after you hear it. Many years ago - 2008 when there was still Craigslist Personals "Casual Encounters" I would regularly use them for anonymous hookups. I read one that intrigued me. Basically, there was a picture of a guy who looked about mid-thirties. (I was 21 at the time) and he was looking for someone to host and suck him off but he had a specific ask - that once you start, you must keep sucking until he finishes and you MUST SWALLOW IT ALL. I messaged him that I was interested. A day later he replied and he said, "I am only interested if you can do what I am asking. It is imperative that once you wrap your lips around my cock you do not take your mouth off until you have finished swallowing. Do you promise to do that?"

I told him I understand and I can definitely do that. We made arrangements for him to come over that night. He showed up on time. He was okay looking - not very good looking, but also, just regular. He was very skinny and based on his car and clothes, probably low income. Not that that matters at all but, again, I have just thought about this so much I have analyzed everything. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt, red athletic shorts, flip flops, and had a buzzed haircut. No facial hair, huge tattoo of a cross on his calf - not very intricate. He walked right in and gave me a bit of a smile which made him a little better looking and I was excited to suck his dick at that point. I pointed to the couch and told him he can navigate the porn playing with the remote. He said he wasn't super interested in porn. I kind of nodded.

He pulled his shirt off, slipped his sandals off, dropped his shorts and sat down. He said, "I haven't showered since last night, so you're getting a full day of musk to suck off my dick. I was on my knees between his knees and I could faintly smell his dick. It smelled like a regular dick. I looked up at him, "smells nice man. Thanks." I was just being nice and I do like the smell of dick mostly. He said, "I want you to promise me again, as soon as you take my dick in your mouth, you will keep it in your mouth until I cum and you have to swallow it all."

I replied, "for sure. I won't switch to hands or anything, I'll suck you to completion." But then he weirdly doubled down, "Not just that, like I need you to keep your lips around my dick with at least the head of my dick in your mouth the whole time." I looked right at him, "Absolutely. I will, I promise." He smiled, and said, "Thanks, I'm really looking forward to it, could take a little while."

I took his dick in my mouth. Tasted good - like a dick. He was mostly soft so his whole dick was in my mouth and I really like the feeling of having a soft dick in my mouth and feeling it get hard. I was nursing it for a few minutes and he wasn't getting hard. I just kept at it and he placed a hand on the back of my head, I am fine with that. He said, just remember your promise and then I felt it. It felt like all of a sudden I had a bunch spit in my mouth. It wasn't spit. It wasn't cum. My mouth was clearly filling with liquid. It tasted chalky and felt warm. I looked up and he was staring directly at me, "You made a promise. You better fucking do it." I swallowed his piss.

He let more fill my mouth and I swallowed again. We maintained eye contact and 8 or 9 times he would open his bladder and piss into my mouth and I would swallow. He had amazing control. He would start, piss for a few seconds and then stop and let me swallow. I realized after the first few times we had a rhythm and I nodded when he could start pissing again. I immediately felt like the worst person in the whole world. I have never been raped, but I think I felt a similar level of violated. He was so hard in seconds. Obviously, this is his kink, getting unsuspecting guys to drink his urine.

I gave him the best blow job I could muster. He came after 15ish minutes. I swallowed it all of course. I made eye contact after with him softening in my mouth. I pulled off of him. and shuffled backward on my knees and stood up. He said, "Can you kneel again." I don't know why, but I did. He stood up, pulled his shirt on, and stepped right up to me. "Open up." We were making eye contact and I just opened my mouth. "We both know if I had to piss again, you would do it again. I want to make one thing clear - I nudged you with making you promise and everything, but you still made the choice, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, I guess, I didn't know what to do really." I muttered back. He immediately said, "Open your mouth back up." I did. I don't know if he just got off on the mental stuff, but he said, "You knew. The second you realized I was pissing in your mouth you made a choice. You chose to be my urinal. Didn't you? Tell me what you did."

My mind was racing, but also I wasn't thinking, like my mind was frozen. I just stared at him with my mouth open. He said it again, "Tell me what you did." I replied, "I felt you, I realized what was happening, and I um, I um made a choice."

"That's right, what was your choice? What exactly did you do?"

"I drank your um, I mean, when you went to the bathroom in my um, I mean I swallowed your piss."

"That's right. You literally let me piss in your mouth, then you swallowed it. You made a choice to be a urinal for me. Say it out loud."

"Why do you want me to say that?" I asked him.

He said, "I get off on it and I have to prove a point to you."

I said it. "I made a choice to be your urinal."

"That's right. Now, I'm going to prove it to you. Ask me if you can do it again."

"Will you let me be your urinal again?" I asked and I opened my mouth.

"See. That's right, you want to be my urinal." He said, and then I felt 1,000 times worse as he took hold of his dick and aimed it at my open mouth. It was clearly just the stance every single man has in front of a toilet aiming their cock waiting to start pissing. I leaned forward a few inches to take him in my mouth but he stopped me. "No, that's okay, I'll just spray it in your mouth. This is no different than if I stopped at the gas station for a piss. Those urinals just sit there waiting for my piss, just like this urinal."

I stared at the head of his cock waiting for it to start - then a trickle, I felt it run down my tongue. I felt it get harder and spray the roof of my mouth. I could hear it pool in my mouth. He stopped the flow and smiled wide. "You can't see it, but there is a little bit of foam just like you know piss does in a toilet."

I closed my mouth and swallowed with the visual in my head of what his foamy piss looked like in my mouth. I opened it again and nodded. He didn't say anything, he just started his flow again. We repeated this about 5 or 6 times.

He finished, shook the last couple drops off directly in my mouth. He grabbed his shorts and pulled them on, stuck his feet in his flip flops, and he left.

I got up, locked the door, and just stood there for a few minutes. I wasn't sure how to go forward. I wanted to jerk off and I also wanted to not exist. I have thought about it every day, sometimes for hours at a time. I couldn't bring myself to ever tell anyone I know. The sheer shame I have felt about it. I have never figured out if he was right or not. If I did make that choice for real or not.

PART 2

When I couldn't take it anymore I emailed the man who violated my mouth. I told him that I was uncomfortable with what had happened and asked if he could give me any insight or explanation. He didn't exactly apologize, but said that he understood that a warning would probably have been warranted.

For some reason that made me feel a bit better, It once again provided me an out. If he had warned me then I would never have done it. He emailed me again a week later and asked if I wanted to talk about it more in person. I was hesitant to see him again, but I still felt like I could gain more closure. He came over again - he had shared he was married. He brought a 12 pack of High Life. He saw my eyes flicker and he knew already my first thought was beer makes you have to piss.

We made about 2 minutes of regular conversation while sitting on my couch then he just asked, "why do you like sucking dick?"

I replied, "I am attracted to males, I like the smell and taste of them. I like cum. I don't know." and I gave a nervous laugh.

He said, "So you believe you are getting something you want out of it, even though most would think it is just doing something, maybe even something degrading for someone else's pleasure?"

I thought about it, "Yeah, sure what I am doing is benefitting the other person, but I am getting what I want out of it too."

He kept drinking, "So you aren't aroused by doing something for someone else. You don't like that you did something for me that you didn't get anything out of it?" I wasn't sure where he was going with this. I just kind of gave a non-committal shrug and he continued, "what if I asked you to get on the floor right there and rub my feet while I have a few more beers?"

I just stared at his feet for a few seconds before looking back into his face. He was expressionless, or maybe the shadow of a smile. I went to my knees at his feet, he had once again just quickly slipped them out of flip flops. I lightly caressed a foot with both hands before pushing my thumbs into his sole. I moved my hands about his foot. After a few minutes I switched to his other foot. He slowly raised his first foot up and gently swiped his big toe across the length of my lips. "Open" he drew the 'o' out for a few seconds and I took his toe into my mouth. I cradled it with my tongue and applied gentle suction. It was strangely erotic. I had never had a foot fetish or anything before.

I licked and sucked his toes and feet until he needed another beer. I returned and handed it to him. He thanked me and said, "It's time, you ready?" I gave him a questioning look. "Oh, c'mon you know exactly what is going to happen. You are going to feel worse if you make me tell you what you're going to do rather than just taking control and doing it yourself."

I knew exactly what he meant. I dropped to my knees yet again. He just stood there, so I reach up and unzipped his shorts, popped the button too. He was wearing open fly boxers and I reached in and easily pulled his dick out. It was warm but still completely soft. I put my lips to the piss slit and waited until his flow started. I felt like I wanted to do it this time maybe. I was in control at least. For the third time, I swallowed his piss. This time though when he was finished he took a step back, put his dick away and closed his shorts. I looked up at him confused,

"I don't want a blow job. I am going to bust a great nut later though thinking about how much control I have over you. You used your mouth a few ways to service me today and you didn't even get to suck my dick." He said cruelly, He saw the surprise on my face but doubled down. "Tell you what, email me when you want final proof that what really gets you off is serving others. I can absolutely prove it to you."

He left with the remainder of the beer he brought.

PART 3

I emailed him again the next day and told him I had to know what he meant. How was he going to prove to me that I enjoyed serving him or others?

He replied very quickly which surprised me. I thought he'd play some power game where he would ignore me or something. He asked me, "you ever give a rimjob?"

I had been asked to do this once or twice by hookups but have never done it. The thought of it was disgusting to me. Even all the times I had topped guys, I always made them get ready first so there would be little to no chance of any dirty asses. I told him I hadn't and had no desire to do so.

He replied immediately, "I think you're going to do it for me. I bet $100 that you will reply at some point and tell me that you'll do it. You'll do it to try to prove to yourself that you never wanted to do it. Let me know when you're ready. Otherwise, I'll message you when I concede that you aren't going to do it to make arrangements to meet up and pay you. But to be clear, from this point forward - do not message me again unless you are acknowledging you lose and you want to do it."

I read it and I couldn't decide if I was angrier that he spoke to me in such a way to make me feel like he was above me or that he really did understand at least one thing about me: I wanted to do it to prove to myself that I never wanted to do it. Which I know is stupid. It is a complete contradiction in itself, but that is how my brain works. As a 21yo, I was not super self aware. I didn't know why I thought or felt things - I just know that I often did things first and then would think to myself - liked it or didn't like it. If I did what he said, then I could say to anyone ever, including him, I know I don't like that. I thought, fuck him - I'm never doing that.

Every guy who crossed my path for the next 24 hrs I would steal a look at his ass and think, I like the look of guys from behind - if I didn't know what happened back there - wouldn't bother me at all to kiss one. I thought of all the times playing sports or video games with my friends and someone yelled 'kiss my ass' because the act is one that is considered humiliating or degrading. I thought about him. Even if it wasn't terrible - it's not like I'd ever have to do it again. Only he and I would ever know what happened and maybe I could live with that to prove to myself who I really am.

It was barely more than 1 day later I emailed. I wasn't sure what to say. It's not like I wanted to do it - I didn't even really want to say it. I just put in the email, "I have lost the bet. Let me know when you're free to come over. You know my work schedule." I had previously shared it in our very first email exchange.

He replied almost immediately again. "I'm ready now, be there in less than 20."

I shot back immediately, "wait, are you sure? Don't you need to shower. Are you even clean?"

He replied, "I don't usually shower on my days off, I'll be clean by the time you're done though."

Basically no time passed and he was knocking on my door. I opened it and stepped back, he walked in and I closed it behind him. He held out his hand, "money?"

Exasperated, "are you serious? Isn't it enough I'm doing this and I recognize you win?"

"Nope. The real lesson here isn't that you're doing it, it's that you essentially want to put your tongue in my butt so badly, you are going to pay me. Think about that while you get my money."

I was in utter shock, "no, I changed my mind. I'm not doing it."

"The fuck you say. I drove over here because you agreed to the deal. Don't go back on your word." He sounded a bit angry. I stared at him for a few seconds. I had already sized him up the first time I met him and I was doing it again. My mind immediately playing out what would happen if we fought. I was 100% sure that I would throttle him if we got physical. I don't know how well he could read me or at least guess what I was thinking, but he changed his tone, "alright, tell you what, give me $20. That's fair, that basically only covers my gas for the 3 trips I've made over here for you."

"Okay, that's fair I guess." I muttered back, heading to my single bedroom to get a $20 from my wallet.

I returned with the bill and handed it to him. He stuffed it in the pocket of his basketball shorts. "Now, you have paid to lick my butt. How do you feel?" I was absolutely not expecting that. Speechless, I just stared again. "C'mon, are you excited for it, crazy horny, feel like you are about to throw up?"

"Um, I don't know. Do you have to say it like that?" I asked him. He raised his eyebrows and gave a quizzical look. "Do you have to say 'lick my butt' like that? It sounds so gross when you say it like that."

He smiled huge, "oh, yeah. I do. Go ahead and lie down right here." I did without hesitation. He slipped his flip flops off and dropped his shorts and cheap boxers. He stood directly above my face with one foot to each side of my head. "Just one little kiss to get your lips moistened" he said while placing the sole of his foot to my face. I parted my lips just a bit so he could feel my tongue also touch his foot. Then we did the other foot. I licked my lips, he widened his stance and began squatting. I watched his hairy butt crack come closer to my face and gently begin to spread. He had a nice butt, pretty shapely, and as his cheeks parted, his asshole came into view.

He didn't smell like shit, just strongly of sweat I guess. He hovered just above me for a few seconds and then he said, "put your lips on my lips and French kiss me."

I will never forget putting my lips to his ass. It felt so warm. I kissed it. Kissed again. Then again. Just several times before I opened my lips and gave my first little lick. It was like something opened up in me then. I was doing something so insanely taboo - my dick was throbbing so hard I stuck my hand in my shorts and grabbed it. I could cum at any second. I moaned into his ass and pushed my shorts down and jerked my dick just once or twice before ropes of cum shot out of me. I was trying my hardest to push every centimeter of my tongue into his ass. I couldn't help but gasp and just stop with my mouth on his hole while I tried to regain myself. I was quickly becoming disinterested having just orgasmed.

"Of course you love serving others. You already came. How about you place your tongue flat on my taint and lick all the way to the top of my ass a few times. Really transfer every bit of my ass funk to your tongue, then we can be done." I couldn't see his face but I could hear the smile in his voice. I hated how he phrased things so grossly, nonetheless I did it.

He stood and motioned for me to get up but then stopped me when I was still kneeling. "Do you want me to rinse your mouth out?" I knew exactly what he meant before he finished the sentence. Once again, I didn't hesitate. I opened my mouth wide and he pointed the head of his half-hard dick at me and began spraying piss into my mouth. Once again he showed amazing control as he could easily start and stop his flow. I swallowed each time he paused and opened again for him to start again until he was shaking off the last few drops onto my tongue.

He was mostly hard and started jerking off. I was getting a little aroused again and I went to take him into my mouth but he told me not to. He jerked off for a couple more minutes and then put the tip to my lips and just shot his load into my mouth. He let me take his softening dick into my mouth to milk the last from him. I always liked this feeling and even though I think I hated him, I still liked this part.

He was pulling his shorts back on and I was trying to wipe cum off myself with my t-shirt. He slipped his feet into his flip flops and with his hand on the doorknob, we turned back toward me, "you are by far my favorite internet hook-up ever. I bet you fuck like a champion too. I wish you all the best, man."

I emailed him a few times after that - nervously the first time I just asked how he was doing. He said he was good, then asked if I had licked any more butts. I replied with only "no" because it pissed me off. I know he never really understood how big of an impact he had on me and my psychosexual development. The fact he praised me at the end really blew me away. I am a person who often does things for the praise. I seek praise. Did he know that - he knew a lot of other things about me. What if this is just the way he is regardless of who he is with and I just happen to have bought everything he was selling from the first second? I even questioned if maybe I was obsessed or infatuated with him for a bit. Just a profound experience.