You Go First 01 Jake Said

[Thanks to Ken N. for editing me. This is a story about eighteen-year old college freshmen discovering the pleasure they could give each other when girls weren't around.]

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I didn't lose my virginity until I was in college. In fact, I had very few dates at all in high school because I was so shy. I had no idea why some male and female classmates were so widely popular while I had a hard time making any friends at all. It seemed like making friends required code words or secret handshakes or something, and I'd never been let in on the secrets.

That doesn't mean I was miserable all the time. I had two or three good male friends, and one girl who treated me like a brother or something, and we sometimes played tennis and studied together. Saturday nights we'd watch movies at Jake's house. He had the best video system and the most welcoming parents.

Now that I'm almost 25 years old I have learned that really crippling social anxiety is not all that uncommon among teenagers, and that lots of kids are lonely in high school but don't show it. I did suffer one particular humiliation - I repeatedly failed the state driver's license tests. I'd known since elementary school that I am color-blind, and that made it challenging for me to read signs and signals.

I dated girls normally in high school when I could, and had no sexual interest in other guys. There's a lot of porn with scenes of guys checking each other out in the gym showers, but I don't remember any of that. We had bodies and dicks of all shapes and sizes, but I took little notice most of the time.

I told you I was a virgin when I went to college. I think I would have met more female classmates and had a more active social life if I had lived on campus, but I was a commuter. The campus was only 30 miles from my house, and my parents couldn't afford to pay high tuition and room and board. It was a good school, and the tuition was pretty steep, and there were many "day students" like myself, so I didn't feel bad about my situation. In fact, "mom's cooking and laundry service" was kind of a perk!

And Jake did the same thing - stayed home and commuted to the campus. So I had my best friend around when I was at the university, and also when I was home. Jake's parents made a deal with him that the money they saved on room and board would fund a car of his own. He was thrilled with the trade-off.

If there was any social disadvantage at school to being a commuter, it was outweighed by our vast knowledge of the area. Unlike the freshmen from far and wide, we knew the surrounding towns like the back of our hand. Friday and Saturday nights Jake would drive us around and we knew where to get the best pizza, or where the local people our age, some of whom did not go away to college, hung out.

I still wasn't getting much action from the girls, but I considered myself perfectly normally heterosexual. My few dates with my female classmates didn't get very far, sexually. Even at their hottest these dates consisted of groping with my hands, and some clumsy, fumbling oral sex. When we didn't have dates, Jake would pick me up and we'd cruise around town, looking for single women to pick up.

Even the oral sex I experienced on my freshman year dates was pretty tame stuff. I don't think any girl I went down on had an actual orgasm. I wasn't very skilled, and she was probably pretty nervous.

If I got four or five minutes of excitement licking her pussy, and she didn't think it unpleasant, we both came away winners! I'd be hard as a rock with my face in her crotch, and sometimes squirted my cum into my pants while writhing around on her dorm room mattress.

I now know that I was a very unusual young man in one particular respect. I didn't enjoy it at all if my date offered to return the oral sex favors. I may be the only man I know who never came to orgasm while getting my dick sucked. When I was in college, I usually couldn't even keep an erection while being sucked. I didn't like the feeling at all-too much drool and teeth! The position - sitting - seemed awkward, and made my average cock barely protrude. It was also uncomfortable, if we were making out in the back seat of Jake's car, to have my pants around my knees.

But even though my discomfort then may have been real, I've since had many opportunities to be sucked to orgasm while comfortably naked in a bed, and-nothing. In my lifetime several women (and one or two men) have tried to give me a blowjob, and I never much enjoyed it. I don't know if I just never got a good one, or if I'm a freak, but I just don't much enjoy getting blown.

Most Friday or Saturday nights I didn't have a date, so Jake and I would perform the American teenage ritual of driving around with a buddy, looking for girls. Lots of guys did this whenever they didn't have a date.

Jake loved to drive, and he pretty much decided where we went, and how long we hung around at each spot before giving up and moving on. It was aimless, "American Graffiti" style cruising from one hangout to another, radio playing, windows down.

I never thought of what he and I did - going out together - as dating. But Jake always called me and no one else, and I always cruised with him and not with anyone else. And somehow we never found girls, and would always end up parked in the woods somewhere, smoking and talking, not ready yet to go home.

Two guys in a car, parked somewhere dark and private, talking about imaginary girls, getting boned. There was no good reason to be shy about opening our zippers and masturbating ourselves. After all, we were college men now, not boys.

Eventually one night we stroked each other in the dark, arms around each other's shoulders, heads together. And then late one night it all changed forever when we agreed to swap blowjobs, and I went first.

I wish I had the words to describe this better. I did not at that moment think that what I was doing moved me from the heterosexual category to the homosexual category. Guys sometimes jerked each other off - that didn't make them gay for life. If getting sucked didn't make you gay, sucking each other would be okay, right? I'd blow Jake, and he'd blow me, and we'd tuck in and go home, Monday morning we'd drive to campus together, and next weekend we'd go looking for girls again. Or maybe even have a date with a girl. We were both normal. Just horny; lonely and horny.

It is hard for me now to believe how little thought I gave to going first, how little I hesitated before offering my mouth for another guy's cock to squirt into.

It wasn't comfortable, hunched over sideways in the front seat, and I was a first-timer at sucking dick. But after getting the hang of it, I enjoyed it. I kind of felt that I was in control, that I was "driving." Jake certainly enjoyed it too, telling me how good it felt, softly stroking my head while then blowing his load into my throat.

The first time I sucked Jake I was nervous about getting someone else's cum in my mouth. But the taste of Jake's cum was not bad, like I feared it would be. Although I had eaten my own cum many times after masturbating, and I quite liked the taste, I thought maybe everybody else's cum would be awful. Jake's wasn't awful at all, and he talked about how great it felt right up until the moment I stopped.

I had barely sat up when headlights coming towards us scared us, and we quickly zipped up and tried to look normal. Jake mumbled that he would have to "owe me one," and started the engine. I could still taste his cum in my mouth fifteen minutes later when he dropped me at my house. Later, in my own bed trying to sleep, I realized that I was disappointed that there was so little cum to swallow.

That was a Friday night, and we went out again Saturday night. At first we were both trying to act as if nothing had changed, and we talked about everything else while driving from place to place.

But Jake was in a hurry that night, and we cruised less than normal before getting back into a dark place to park. He wanted another blowjob, and wanted to give me the one he owed me to get it out of the way.

When we parked, however, I did not immediately open my pants, or ask him to do anything. I realize now that I was embarrassed about what we were about to do, and ashamed that my dick was soft. I fumbled with my pants and tried to get my cock out so he could suck it. I didn't feel excitement or eagerness, just shyness, and I wasn't erect. My little cock just flopped around in the dark. Neither my manipulations, or then his, brought me to erection.

Humiliated by my own shortcomings, I quickly put my hand on Jake's crotch and offered to go first again. He sat back in his seat and, as they say in the romantic novels, let me have my way with him. His cock was hard and warm, and tonight I slipped forward to kneel on the floor under the dashboard and suck him from a semi-kneeling position that felt more comfortable for me.

I had less trouble tonight keeping my teeth back, and enjoyed this suck more than the first one because I was now an experienced swallower of cum. Friday night I had worried about what to do when he shot his load, and whether or not I could swallow. Tonight I was relaxed and, well, happy.

Jake was pretty happy too, and kept up a running commentary as I nibbled and sucked on the head and the shaft of his cock. He said it was wonderful, and that I was such a good friend to help him out, and that he could do this all night.

It's not an original thought that erect cocks are both hard as a rock and yet soft, at the same time. I enjoyed handling, and sucking, Jake's powerful tool. On some level it gave me pleasure that his dick was so hard while my own drooled limply in my underpants.

It's also well-known that sucking almost anything is a fundamentally pleasant thing to do. It almost didn't matter that it was his cock in my mouth. I think I could have gotten pleasure if he had his hand in my mouth. The act of sucking, and of submitting, was its own reward. Strangely, I knew on some level that I was submitting to a "better man."

Jake lasted longer Saturday night than he had on Friday, so instead of five nervous minutes we both had fifteen pleasant minutes. While I worked his dick with my mouth he told me that I was his best friend, and that being here with me was the greatest thing that happened to him.

I loved the feeling of control that I had working on his cock, and he relaxed knowing that I'd go all the way, and swallow with a smile. It helped us both that no other cars wandered by that night to spook us, so Jake had time to relax and to come down from his orgasm. I stopped moving my head and mouth, but stayed quiet, with my head on his lap and his softening dick in my mouth. I nursed on his glans like a nipple for two or three minutes.

We even had time for a post-orgasm cigarette. He tried one final time to jerk my cock into an erection, but nothing happened, and he gave up trying. He promised me that he would pay me back some other time, whenever I wanted, and we tidied up and went home.

The next Friday night I had a date with a girl in the sophomore class, maybe 20 years old. I imagined all week that she would be a sexually experienced woman of the world who would take me all the way, but she didn't even want to make out in her dorm room after the movie.

So I ended up in my room earlier than planned, and found myself wondering where Jake was. For some reason I had no trouble getting hard and jerking off all the way when I was alone at home in my own bed, and I did.

I called Jake Saturday morning and he bragged that Friday night he had gone out on a date with a Junior, and that they had enjoyed a hot make out session at the very same place he and I normally parked. That night we spent only an hour or two driving around before parking there ourselves.

Jake reached towards my crotch and asked me if I was hard, and I told him not yet, so once again I went first. While I was sucking his dick he told me that his date the night before had gone down on him too, right here in the same place. For some reason that made me very excited. He told me she was a better cock-sucker than I was; that strangely made me want to do a better job. I started moving my head faster, and used my lips and tongue even more than I was used to.

He said how much fun it would be if we both had dates here, and if we were both getting our cocks sucked. It was hard for me to imagine that his fantasy would be any more exciting for me than what was actually happening in the real world. For perhaps the first moment, I weighed the pleasure of what I was doing against the ideal notion of me on a date with a girl - and began to consider that I truly got enormous pleasure from sucking his dick.

It was an awareness that came over me slowly, not all at once. The best thing I did all week was suck Jake's hard, hot cock into my mouth. I was kneeling on the front floor of the car, bent at the waist to slurp on his dick. He had the seat back as far as it would go, and sat comfortably, leaning to his left against the driver-side door and with his right leg up on the seat in front of me. I was unconsciously thrusting my own pelvis against the car seat, and ejaculated into my pants.

When, later, he moved to see if I was erect and ready to collect my debt, I shamefacedly told him I had cum while I was sucking his dick. When his right hand felt the sloppy mess that was my cock and balls, he seemed puzzled for just a second. This was the first moment, surprisingly, that he truly understood what I was about. From this moment on neither one of us would pretend that we were two straight guys helping each other out in the absence of pussy. I would be his pussy whenever he wanted.

The new pattern was set: less and less driving around, more and more cock-sucking, and with me always going first. He never did stop saying it that way: "Hey, do you want to go first?" That was gentle of him, because we both knew nobody ever went second.

I never did get hard, and Jake never did suck my dick in return, and we enjoyed the sex more and more as my oral skills got better. I learned to love jizzing my shorts while swallowing his slimy loads. He got more vocal each time about what I was doing, less concerned, if he ever was, about insulting me for being "my regular cocksucker".

By December, I had pretty much stopped trying to date girls entirely, and other than the few nights Jake dated, he fucked my face in his car almost every Friday and Saturday night. He'd started to call me a sissy, but in a sweet, endearing tone, not like an insult. "You like being my sissy, Don, don't you?" said while stroking or caressing my face in his lap.

Somehow, against all logic, I still thought I was a normal straight guy. I wasn't gay just because I smoked Jake's meat once in a while. Guys fool around, don't they? All Jake's sissy and cocksucker talk was a kind of tender endearment, not humiliation. I had become very important to Jake, maybe the most important person in his life right now. Jake needed me almost as much as I needed him, and his cock.

We were two very contented young men until Christmas screwed everything up.

His aunt, uncle, and cousins came to stay with his parents for two weeks at Christmas and New Year's. Jake's male cousin John was about our age, 19, and was pretty much an asshole. John had an older sister, Karen, 21.

I'd met John the year before and had not liked him at all. He bragged all the time about his sports and his girlfriends - plural, he wanted us to know. I'm older now, and know he was insecure and fronting for his own perceived inadequacies, but at the time I just thought he was a jerk.

During the first few days of their visit John got to bragging about all the tail he got back home. Jake started to say that he scored with the ladies, too. It was silly back and forth bragging, but John eventually squeezed out of Jake that the furthest he'd ever actually gone with a girlfriend was oral sex-that Jake was still technically a virgin.

John bragged to Jake that he had fucked three or four girls back home, and Jake, trying to think of a comeback, said that he got his cock sucked every weekend. Back and forth with the bragging and the taunting they went, until Jake let slip that I was his personal cocksucker. John didn't believe him, or pretended not to, and then Jake sold me out. He offered to show John in real life what a great sissy cocksucker I had become.

I found all this out later, of course. When Jake spoke to me after calculus class Friday afternoon and asked if I wanted to drive around that night, I was happy to accept. We had already discussed that John's visit would probably mess up our routine. I didn't think to ask what John would do with the families while Jake and I cruised, but I didn't much care. I was just really pleasantly surprised that I'd get to be alone with Jake that night.

When Jake pulled up in front of my house in his car, and I saw John was with him, I still didn't know that they had a scheme. I jumped to the conclusion that Jake's plan to ditch John had failed, and that he had had no choice but reluctantly to bring John along. Oh well, no sex tonight, I thought, and got in the back seat.

We cruised all the normal single hangouts that night, but for some weird reason John was being really nice to me. Gone was the jerky braggart, self-centered to a fault. This year's John was charming and acted like seeing me again was going to be the highlight of his family's visit.

At the very first stop, as we got back into the car to leave, John got into the back with me and made a joke about it to Jake, saying that he didn't want me to feel neglected.

We must have stopped at three or four more places for a snack and a gawk, and the whole time we drove John sat facing me, arm up on the seatback, occasionally touching my leg or arm. He was really a much nicer guy than I remembered, and I kind of stopped paying attention to Jake and the driving.

Until we parked. There. In our regular dark secluded space. Jake shut off the engine and knelt on the driver seat, facing us in the back.

I think I knew then what was coming, but I didn't know how it would play out. Was Jake going to ask me to suck his cock while John watched us? I was more scared than excited. All pretenses were gone. Jake and I weren't two guys who helped each other out. He was always going to owe me one. I was there for the same reason I always was there, to suck cock.

So I was really surprised when Jake said to me: "You go first. With John. He's really horny."

I turned and saw that John was already lowering his pants and exposing his hard cock, which sprang up and slapped his abs as he pulled his underwear down that last inch. I think I stared his erection too long, because when I looked up at John's face he was relaxed and smiling. "Come on, Don. Jake told me you're really good at this."

I looked at Jake, but he avoided my eyes. He nodded his head towards John as if to say "don't look at me, Don, there's a dick waiting for you."

I looked back at John, and then down to his long, erect penis. My knees sagged slowly to the floor of the car and my hands hesitantly grabbed John's cock and pulled it towards my face. He was bigger than Jake by an inch, but I'd never learned to deep throat, and the extra length didn't much matter. I began to suck and lick the parts I could suck and lick.

At the time, the worst part of that night, getting passed back and forth from cock to cock in the backseat of Jake's car, was John's endless chatter about what a fairy fag cock-sucker I was. Nice guy John had vanished now, having served his purpose. John the douchebag most definitely did want to humiliate me, and tightly held my head in his hands as he pulled me back and forth on the head of his cock.