"Zhi, something is wrong with Jing."
My heart sank.
***
My body acted without thinking and I ordered Xe'Hul and Jing to the medical office. Brandon and I ran to meet them. We managed to arrive before them and prepared the office for an emergency examination. I had my nurse waiting at the front door for my brother and his mate.
It wasn't long until I heard the screams of pain. It was too much for me. I knew what was going to happen and it wasn't good. I looked inside myself and turned my emotions off. I didn't do it often but at times like these getting emotional was a problem.
"Get him on the examination table now," I ordered. Brandon raced to Jing and tried to help support his head while Hul carried him. He was screaming so loudly I could almost hear his vocal cords tear.
"Doctor! He's bleeding!" I raced to my brother and helped lift his mate to the table. I ripped his shirt in half and threw the scraps to the side. He was bleeding from his navel. The blood was steadily streaming from the small indentation in his stomach. The blood was sickening.
~Brandon~
It wasn't normal blood. At least it wasn't human blood. The colour was so red that it almost appeared black. It was hard to fathom considering the paleness of his skin. It was sticky and it just flowed out of him. It didn't slow down and it looked like something was moving inside of him. I wanted to throw up. I liked horror movies, but this wasn't a movie. This was real life and it was about time that it hit me. I was a human in a spaceship in love with a real alien—a real Xolt. My brother was actually pregnant and Jing was in...In pain. I knew all of this all along but deep down I refused to believe it. The realization hit me like a wall.
I ran to the other room and found a trash can. I threw up. Everything that I had in my stomach previously was gone, but that didn't stop me from throwing up again when I heard Jing's scream of anguish.
It wasn't until someone pulled me by my collar and lifted me face to face.
Xe'Trygg...Ryan...My old best friend.
"Snap the fuck out!" I looked into his blue eyes and jumped. They were cold, even more so despite the usual cold blue colour. "What happened to the macho man from Earth? We need you here!"
I gaged. "This is too much for me..."
"This is too much for you?! MY BROTHER IS DYING IN THERE!" He yelled in my face. "And so is his baby. His husband, my brother and Captain, is at his end. My mate is trying to clean as much blood as he can, even though we are BOTH aware that he doesn't handle blood well. Your mate is trying to perform an emergency C-section. And what am I doing? I'm fucking lecturing you! THAT is too much for ME."
"You weren't put into all of this so suddenly!"
"BRANDON, I am NOT saying that I don't understand. What I am saying is get your ass in there and take care of you mate and your best friend. Because we don't know how much longer he's going to last."
I stopped breathing.
"He's dying?" Xe'Trygg dropped me to the ground.
I fell with a thud. I looked up...I saw my friend wiping tears. It was the first time I ever saw him cry, in this form or the form of Ryan. All he could do was nod.
I don't know what compelled me to do it but I ran into the room and took my shirt off. I threw it on the ground and wiped some of the blood off the ground. I picked up the bloodied shirt and threw in in the nearest trash can. Most of the blood was picked up because of my shirt and Steven glanced up at me. His face was green, and his eyes were red. He was doing his best not to break down. It was a face I remembered seeing often when we played horror movies.
I felt like such a dick. He was kneeling on the ground with a child in his belly. I should have been there in his place instead. But as usual I was acting like my selfish dickish self. I was hurting others while trying to protect myself.
Xe'Zhi and his nurse were doing their best to calm Xe'Hul down, but it was useless. I could tell that he was enraged, perhaps at his brother for not being able to prevent this. Or perhaps to Jing for letting this happen. But I think most of all he was angry at his baby for hurting his mate.
He was throwing himself at the bed, trying to get Jing to breathe, to remain calm. But in the process wasn't calm himself. I had never seen him act that way before. He never lost his composure.
This was an new Xe'Hul.
I turned to see Xe'Trygg standing there, confused as to what he should do. I wasn't sure what to do either but I knew that something had to be done.
"Trygg I want you over here, take your brother out for a moment. Let him get some air to his brain or it'll blow. I'll stay here and help take care of Jing."
"Ar-are you sure?"
"No, but do it anyways."
Xe'Trygg had to pick Hul up and drag him to the clinic doors. I ran to where Hul had been standing beforehand. I picked Jing's pale while hand and gave it a squeeze. His face was so shallow and almost appeared gray in some spots. He had his eyes closed and he was biting his bottom lip.
"I have you Jing. Xe'Hul just went out to get a breather. You're going to be okay." I whispered to him. I tried to sound as calm and collected as possible. It was hard to do because my voice wouldn't stop shaking. I closed my eyes and tears started to roll.
"Good job, Brandon. Keep going things are starting to calm down. You're doing a good job." Zhi started to say. My breathing hitched because I knew that it wasn't becoming easier. Jing's grip on my hand was weakening. He was just dying faster.
"Jing, I want you to breathe. You are doing a great job, just keep holding on." With each second he let go more. "Jing, don't give up on us. Not yet! I just started to get to know you! It's not fair! I love you Jing, you're like family to me. You've been more of a parent to me than my own mother was. JING DO NOT DIE ON ME!" I yelled.
I felt him squeeze my hand ever so slightly. I looked down and Jing was smiling at the lights. It was like he couldn't see my face.
"I can't see anymore," he whispered. "Brandon, I left letters in my desk at home. I want you to give it to everyone, but read yours first." He chuckled as tears fell from the corners of his eyes and traveled down the slope of his cheek.
"I love you too."
"Please, don't give up..."
But it was too late. Or maybe it was inevitable. Either way, Jing's hand slipped from mine and fell to the table that he lay upon. The life support started to go wild; the nurse started yelling telling my mate that Jing was dead. They tried to perform CPR, but nothing was working.
I walked away from Jing's corpse and sat on the floor next to my brother in a puddle of Jing's blood. I held my brothers hand with the hand that held Jing's. And we cried. And soon, cries that overpowered ours entered the room. If you could hear a soul scream, Xe'Hul's cry would be it.
Then, as if on cue the room went silent except for the cries of a new born baby. The first baby girl to ever touch the Xolt race.
***
"The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our separate ways, I to die, and you to live. Which of these two is better only God knows." ― Socrates
***
The child needed to stay on life support because of the abnormality of her birth. However she too was close to death that night. Xe'Zhi was at work almost every night for three weeks watching over her, almost like a father would. Whereas her biological father was too busying trying to set course for a trip to Jing's home world—Arcaina. Xe'Hul didn't meet his daughter.
As soon as the baby was conceived he was ready to die. He kept screaming that he kept his promise, his promise to keep the baby alive, but he was ready to die by his mates' side. We stopped him though. We knew that Jing wouldn't want that. We knew that he would want Xe'Hul to take care of his baby. But it didn't work.
He wanted nothing to do with the child.
And the more we begged him to take care of her the more he hated us too. So, she stayed in the clinic.
After three weeks Steven had his baby; a happy healthy male with his father's cold blue eyes and silver skin with a stub of a tail, but my brothers shining blond hair, human nose and mouth.
I thought that it was time to get Jing's letters.
I asked for the code to get into their apartment. Trygg was reluctant to give it to me, but did it anyways. I would never do anything to hurt Jing, even after death. I loved him far too much to hurt someone that I considered family.
The apartment was dark and dusty. It seemed like Xe'Hul hadn't been there in ages.
Looking at the home made me cry. I could see Jing sitting on the floor with his other babies, feeding them and playing with them. Once Jing died Xe'Hul hired Steven to babysit them. When Steven went into labour I took care of them. However, Hul still took care of his boys.
I wiped my tears and looked around the family room. There was a wood chair painted gold and a white desk. I knew that it had to be his.
I pulled the drawer open and found letters addressed to everyone. Mine was on the very top, written in English, or at least the very best English that he could write. Even though it wasn't perfect I understood. And it hurt me so much while at the same time it made me soar. And it hurt me because it made me soar.
"Brandon,
During my last pregnancy I almost died. One time in my life I felt dead all the time. I know the feeling well. But it was Xe'Hul who brought me back from death. And he did it again after I gave birth to my twins.
But this time, when I give birth this time, I will not live. My baby is strong, and I have a feeling she will always be strong. Xe'Hul does not know this. He will be shocked at my death. It will take him much time to get over the grief.
Brandon, I want you to know that there is a large possibility that you may never have a child. I recognize the signs and you are showing them. It is nearly impossible to not get impregnated by the Xolts.
But my gift to you is the gift of birth.
With this letter are the papers to register you as the Gods Father of Yaelis, my baby girl. If Hul is not capable of taking care of her, please...do it in place of me.
Thank you, Brandon. I have much love and care for you.
With all my love,
~Jing"
Before I even realized it, I was a parent.
