The silence in the small pickup was overwhelming. Mitch wasn't sure what to say or do to help Darrin this time. They had spent the last few days discussing Darrin's options and had arrived at a sketchy plan. Mitch knew if Darrin's mother hadn't begged him to come, they wouldn't be on this trip now. Darrin had long ago written off his religiously homophobic father and felt his mother bore some of the blame as well.
Mitch watched out the window as the landscape scrolled past. He actually loved west Texas, from the first time he had experienced it he'd felt a freedom in the open space that he didn't feel in the heavily forested eastern part of the state where he had grown up. As he watched out his window Mitch replayed their decision for him to come with Darrin. He had offered to stay at home if it would make it easier. He couldn't imagine that Darrin bringing his boyfriend was going to lessen the tension. But Darrin had been adamant that he needed Mitch by his side. One decision that Mitch did agree with wholeheartedly was the choice to not attend the funeral. Darrin had thought it was just hypocritical to attend the funeral of a person who had . . . well there was no positive thing to be accomplished by attending.
Even though they were arriving a few days after the funeral, Mitch was certain this trip would be filled with drama. Truthfully, he was concerned about their relationship. He knew Darrin had a lot of baggage regarding his family. Mitch wasn't sure how this return to his childhood home was going to play out after years of being ostracized. The combination of factors had created a tense trip, even though the two of them hadn't had any problems over it, so far. With a silent sigh Mitch decided to try and get some idea of what he was facing.
"So your Mom knows you're coming. Who else?" asked Mitch.
Darrin glanced over, considering his answer too long before answering. "Yes, she knows. And I would imagine my sister knows too. I don't know of anyone else, but I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't activated a prayer chain."
Mitch glanced at him and said, "Prayer chain? You mean having the church pray for you, like when someone is really sick."
"Yeah, exactly."
"Why? Neither of us is sick."
Darrin laughed out a humorless chuckle. "They are trying to get God to cure me, of the evil of homosexuality."
"Oh," Mitch slumped against the seat. "This is going to be a miserable trip isn't it."
Darrin looked over at him and tried to smile, "Maybe it won't be as bad as we think."
"Maybe," said Mitch as he contemplated the situation. Trying to find some bright spot in this he spoke again, "What about your sister? What's she like?"
"I think she contributes to that church in Wichita that protests against fags at the military funerals. Does that give you any idea?"
"Shit."
"Exactly."
<><><><><>
The closer they came, the more Mitch questioned this trip. On the outskirts of town, they turned onto a well-traveled dirt road. After several miles they pulled into the driveway of a two-story white house that looked like it was straight out of a Grant Wood painting. They sat in the pickup for several minutes, steeling themselves against whatever was going to come. Finally Darrin spoke,
"Ok, we can do this. Mother asked us to come. Surely it wouldn't be to an ambush."
"She invited 'us'?" asked Mitch.
Darrin let out a deep breath. "No, she didn't invite us, she invited me." He turned to look at Mitch, "This could be a hellish week for me. Thank you for coming."
Mitch smiled and patted Darrin's leg, "It's ok, babe. I'm here for you."
When Mitch looked back to the house there was a woman standing on the porch. With her arms crossed and intent stare, she didn't seem like the welcome wagon to Mitch. As he was trying to decide what to do he heard the driver's door open.
"That's my Mom. Wait here a sec," said Darrin.
Mitch nodded and then watched as Darrin walked to the woman and began talking to her. Neither of them offered to embrace the other, and Mitch felt more and more uncomfortable as the seconds ticked by. His tension peaked when Darrin motioned him to the porch. Leaving the shelter of the pickup, Mitch walked over and stood beside Darrin.
Darrin turned and looked at his mother again. "Mother, this is Mitch. He and I share an office at school."
Mitch turned slightly so he could see Darrin's face. He quietly seethed as he contemplated Darrin explaining him as only an officemate. His feelings were in turmoil, his worse nightmare for this trip seemingly had just materialized. He considered leaving, not certain he was willing to stay, when Darrin laid his hand on Mitch's shoulder.
"Mitch is also my partner," said Darrin.
His mother looked at each of them and then said, "Business partner?"
"No, Mother. He's my husband."
Mitch's jaw dropped. This wasn't really something they had talked about. Mitch was a little pissed off that Darrin had presented their relationship that way, but part of him was also delighted. Husband certainly sounded more official and long term than boyfriend, and undoubtedly clearer than partner. Mitch realized that no one had spoken and he could almost see the word 'husband' hanging in the air. Darrin's mother finally nodded her head and turned to go back inside,
"Well come on inside. It's too cold to stand around talking out here," she said.
They filed into the house and Mitch looked around the room. It couldn't be more different from the house he grew up in. It was spotless, nothing was out of order, and no dust would dare rear its head in this room. It wasn't a room for casual relaxation, but it was the one they were ushered into. Without a word, she had left the room through a side door, only to reappear in a few seconds with a tray of ice tea. After the drinks were distributed she sat down, finally looking directly at both of them. Her next question surprised Mitch.
"Do you love each other?" she asked.
Without hesitation both answered, "Yes."
Darrin's mother visibly shuddered with their answer, burying her face into her hands. Darrin and Mitch glanced at each other. Neither of them was sure what was happening. They waited in silence. Eventually she raised her head and looked at them.
"I don't understand. I'm trying Darrin, but I still don't understand. Your sister gave me some information from PFLAG, and that helped. But this is a big step for me," she visibly braced herself and looked into Darrin's eyes, "But I know your father was wrong. You are not a mistake or an aberration."
"Ok, Mom . . ."
"Your father could be a cruel man, and absolutely inflexible."
Darrin nodded, his face unreadable.
"But he's gone. I still have time to try and fix some of my mistakes. My biggest regret is that I allowed him to keep you away from me for all these years." This time when she looked at Darrin there were tears in her eyes. "Do you think you can ever forgive me?"
Darrin looked at her, seemingly unsure of his answer. Mitch could almost see him catalog his life as he contemplated a response. But a look of determination settled on his face and Darrin answered.
"I don't know. Right now I'm not sure I can forgive you," he let out a huge breath, "But I'm willing to try. That's all I can promise."
She nodded and crossed the distance and enveloped him in a hug. Mitch could hear her soft voice as she said, "Thank you."
About that time a young woman emerged from the kitchen carrying a plate of sweets. She watched for a minute before putting her hand on the older woman's shoulder.
"Come on Mom and sit down. Darrin isn't leaving right away."
She skillfully herded her mother to her vacated chair before setting the snacks on the coffee table. Turning she looked at Darrin,
"Hi, big brother."
"Dana. How are you doing?"
"It's been not good around here," she glanced back at their mother, "But I guess it hasn't been good around here for a long time."
Darrin nodded, "No, no it hasn't. But Mom said you gave her some information from PFLAG?"
"Yes, I thought it might help."
"Thank you," said Darrin. He then remembered Mitch and motioned him over. "This is my partner, Mitch."
Dana held out a hand, which Mitch took. Their eyes met as they shook hands with Dana trying to smile at him. Mitch couldn't help but suddenly be thankful for his parents. The next time he talked with them, he was going to tell them so too.
The four of them tried to have a casual conversation. Although stilted and fragmented, they made it through the typical pleasantries. After a long silence, Darrin's mother looked at Mitch,
"How did you two meet? At some kind of club for you people?"
Mitch choked on his tea, almost spraying it across the room. He so badly wanted to say that yes, he had met her son at a gay leather bar and it was his hairy butt in assless chaps that really turned him on. But as tempting as it was he really didn't want to make this harder for Darrin. So he plastered a smile on his face and answered her questions truthfully.