This is the 3rd chapter of what I hope to be a 4-part series. Keep the comments coming please, they inspire me to continue! Happy reading!
Chapter 3 Levi
The one time I ever bottomed before Alex was with the one person, I thought I genuinely loved. Young love and lust, at its roots, could be all-consuming but at the same time artificial in its existence. Unfortunately for me, I was not fully aware of myself or had the experience to understand the difference between the two. In its consequence, my mind culminated a loving relationship that was beautiful at its surface but weak within its foundation.
I met Ethan when I was sixteen. We were both baseball players on our high school team and quickly became fast friends. His easy-going smile and boy next door good looks had me smitten from the very start. At that point in my life, I was truly starting to come to terms with my sexuality, and with the help of my mother, I was finally starting to love myself again.
I came out that very same year and Ethan was one of the few who stood by me in the wake. He was the shoulder I cried on, the person that I came to talk to, the one I reached for when I felt hurt from the insensitivities of my former friends. Even after facing the cold shoulders of my fellow teammates, he stood by me and reprimanded them whenever he saw the dejected look and hurt upon my face.
His tenderness touched me, and I quickly fell in love. It was on one such occasion that I sought his comfort that things stepped beyond the realm of friendship. Upon venting my pain, he leaned over and kissed me. There, at the cusp of my manhood and insecurities, did I have my first kiss with a guy. He held me, holding me close to him, his hands resting upon my waist as he showed me the intimacy I sorely needed.
It did not go further than that, as his parents came home. Non-the-less I was excited about what was to come. I went home after that day, giddy with excitement and hope. Only to be heartbroken when he did not answer my texts and started ignoring me at school.
It was after a week of his isolation that he sat down with me at lunch. He quickly apologized, saying that his kiss was just an attempt to make me feel better. He pushed on rapidly, starting to talk to me again as if nothing happened.
I should have known better at the time, but I quickly forgave, and we carried on as usual. He kept our friendship platonic, never once mentioning the kiss that set my mind on fire. In my naivety, I told myself I was simply happy to be in his presence, happy to be his friend in the very least.
It was our senior year in high school that things changed further. I had just turned 18 and I was starting to gain the confidence to explore my sexuality more with other guys. In my exploration, I met a classmate named Brian. He was in my history class and had recently come out the year before. He texted me one day wanting to know if I wanted to hang out. I was happy at the sudden prospect and of course, I told Ethan. He gave me a tight smile but said he was glad I found someone. I thought nothing of it.
Brian and I quickly became a bit of an item. He was not good looking in the most classical sense. He had a nose just a bit too large for his face, but he had beautiful brown eyes and a smile that was infectious. He was slightly smaller than me, but I found he was easy to wrap my arms around. What really had me hooked how he treated me. He acted like he honestly liked me.
I was kissing him in the halls one day during school when I hear a locker door slam shut. We jump apart and I noticed the back of Ethan walking away. I was confused. He did not answer any of my texts and he was once again ignoring me.
In my anger, I went over to his house that same day to confront him after baseball practice. I raged about him doing this shit again and wondered why he could not just be happy for me when he suddenly kissed me. Then kissed again after breaking apart. We threw our lips together, hands grasping each other's bodies, this time neither of us wanting to withdraw. Our clothes rapidly shed, and my body was on fire. He pushed my shoulders down leading me to his pelvis, shoving his cock at my face. I wish I could say I took to cocksucking like fish to water, but I knew it was all clumsy fumbles despite my enthusiasm.
Afterward, he would not let me kiss him. He did smile at me, giving me a hug, which transformed my disappointment into happiness. He told me to get rid of Brian and due to my obsession with Ethan, I did just that. The next day I pulled Brian aside and told him I could not be with him. He was upset and confused but I could not give him a worthy explanation. He asked if it was Ethan and I vehemently denied it. I knew Ethan did not want to be outed as involved with a gay guy.
The next day I find out that Ethan started dating a cheerleader. I was crushed and went home early in emotional turmoil. My mom was given notice from the school that I departed early, and she came home at first angry at me for ditching school. Upon seeing my face, she quickly tried to get at the root of my sorrow. I wish I would have told her then, maybe it would have saved me some heartbreak.
Ethan texted and said to come over, please. I refused but he begged. In my naivety, I went over to his home telling myself that maybe it was all a mistake. He apologized saying it was just a cover. He could not be exposed as being with me and that it would not out well for us that way. He promised would soon come out when the time was right. He told me he loved me for the first time, and I forgave him in my joy at hearing those words.
It was during Christmas break that I gave him my virginity. After rubbing my cock, he pushed me over onto my stomach kissing my neck and shoulder. He asked if he could fuck me and I said yes. He quickly put on a condom and got some lube on my hole and on his dick before he pushed in. I cried out and told him to hold on and was thankful he did and that he was not too big. He got a little impatient after a while and pushed further.
I did not know about pushing out to help ease the pain of first entry nor about proper prepping. It was evident he did not know either as he started pumping away as soon as I relaxed a little. I gripped the comforter biting my bottom lip to hide my pain that seemed never-ending. Pleasure finally started creeping in and my cock started to harden again however, It was not too long after that Ethan came.
I was still hard when he rolled over off me and took off the condom. I rolled on my back and started stroking my dick when it was clear he was not going to help me out. I came using my hand in an unsatisfying orgasm.
He tossed me my boxers which I used to wipe off my own cum from my chest then my ass. I went to kiss him when I stood up, but he turned his head away. It was then I truly felt the tension in the room increase. "Maybe you should go," he tells me.
I decided to give him time but texted him later the next day but got no response. He does not speak to me the rest of the break. He apparently is never home when I go over to talk to him. When school came again, I caught him making out with his cover cheerleader girlfriend. I go to him in my misery and he tells him to get away from him, that he does not want to hang out with some fag.
It was the classic case of out guy meets a closeted guy. Out guy falls in love with him. The closeted guy freaks out and breaks the heart of the other. Ladies and gentlemen, in his Oscar performance, is Levi, the out guy. He was truly devoted to his role.
That was when I started making my rules. It was then that I steeled my heart and solidified my resolve. I never wanted to be put in that situation ever again and I silently promised myself that no man would make me feel that way once more.
This promise woke me next to a still sleeping Alex, curled up flush behind me.
I somehow ease from the bed without waking him before I quickly and quietly skirted to my room. I hurry to throw on clothes, grab my car keys, and escape through the front door. I did not even realize where I was heading until I was nearing my mom's house. She lived in the suburbs now that she could easily afford a nice home, lawn, and garden she always wanted. I was there that I saw her in her covetous garden when I pulled up into the drive.
She stands up upon hearing my car pull into the drive and gives me a confused smile. "Levi! I wasn't expecting you, honey, why didn't you tell me, and I would have done some more grocery shopping and made a nice meal!" she quickly comes over giving me a hug.
I hug her back not wanting to let go. I breathed in her familiar smell. She smelled like home, reminding me of the soft fragrance of lavender and earthy richness that favored her preferred soaps. When she was finally able to extricate herself, she held me out with her hands on my shoulders looking over my face
I had a fake smile on my lips that even I knew probably looked a bit strained.
"Oh Levi..." she speaks softly, and my face quickly crumbles betraying my fear and unease.
"Come in sweetie, the weeds can wait. I'll make some cocoa."
Cocoa was the drink she always used to make me feel better growing up and even though I was a grown-ass man I could never turn down my mom's cocoa.
