Alright, I admit I might not be as straight as I thought. I might be a little gay... maybe. Or bisexual. Yeah, I'm probably bi. It's this stupid Ian who's messing with my head. That's totally what it is.
"You just think about it alright? I'll see you after school."
That's what he said at lunch after he gave me mind-blowing head and practically told me I could do whatever I wanted to him - even fuck him - without expecting anything in return. I think it was that submissiveness that did me in, besides the fact that he was smoking hot. The idea of this small, sexy, energetic little boy with an attitude giving me complete power over his body was the nail in the coffin of my straightness. The only thing that came even close to making me as hot as that one sentence from Ian was the times I would make out with Danny, and that - the fact that my top two sexual fantasies were of guys - was what destroyed the idea I'd been holding on to that I was just experimenting.
I might be a stubborn guy, but I'm not stupid, and I'm not one to lie to myself - anymore. Am I gay? I don't know. Am I straight? Not completely. For now, all I know is I haven't been paying attention to anything my teacher has been saying all period and the bell just rang.
Ian will be waiting for me at the bus stop.
***
I walked out of my classroom and the first thing I saw was Ian. I'd meant to go find him, but he was already there waiting for me outside the classroom. For some reason, this gave me a warm feeling in my chest - he was as eager about this as I was.
"Hey," he said, trying to play cool. I could see the excitement in his pretty eyes.
"Hey," I said back, moving aside so people could get out of the classroom. "You were waiting for me?" I couldn't keep the smile off my voice, or off my face.
"Get over yourself," he said, again playing it cool, but he was smiling too. "My teacher let us out early, and I just thought it would be more convenient if you didn't have to look for me. It saves time, so we don't miss the bus again." His red bangs had drooped onto his forehead and he flipped them back with his hand. It was sexy.
"And this had nothing to do with you being excited to see me?" I teased. He smiled.
"Fuck you," he playfully said, and we both smiled like idiots. "Anyway," he said, breaking the tension that had started to form around us. "I was wondering if maybe you wanna ride the bus with me and come to my house? My mom's not home, so we could talk about how this thing is gonna play out, you know?"
"Yeah," I said quickly. "Sure." He smiled, pleased with himself that he had sounded cool and calm while I was so eager. I blushed, and that of course made him smile even bigger.
We both got on the bus, and he put on his earphones while I sat next to him and pulled out my phone. I sent a quick text to my mom telling her I was going to a girl's house so I'd be home later, and she texted me back, asking if it was the girl. I sighed and texted back a simple yes.
After Jake punched me on the nose last Thursday, I had to come up with something to tell my parents, cause I sure as fuck wasn't gonna tell them my gay ex-boyfriend's new boyfriend had hit me for yelling at said ex-boyfriend. I ended up telling them a guy had tried to put the moves on a girl who clearly didn't want it and I got into a fight with this guy to defend her honor. They ate it up. Not only did it make me sound straight, in their eyes I was a fucking gentleman. And now my mom thought I was going to this girl's house.
Whatever.
***
Ian got off the bus at his usual stop and motioned for me to follow him. We walked a few blocks to his house, and I noticed he lived in a not-so-nice part of town. He took his keys out of his jeans pocket as soon as we got off the bus and put them between his fingers as girls are taught to do to defend themselves against rapists.
"What are you doing?" I asked. He looked at me like I was stupid.
"Do you have any idea what it's like to be this small and gay in a neighborhood like this? I've lost count of how many times I've been mugged."
I felt sick to my stomach. Poor little skinny Ian walking to his house every day worrying he's gonna get assaulted. I wondered if he'd ever been beaten. I hoped not.
"It's okay," I told him in a low voice. "I'm here, no one's gonna jump you."
He looked up at me with a blank stare for a few seconds, before lowering his gaze and whispering, "thanks." Then he kept walking.
We reached his house, and the first thing I noticed was how small it was - much smaller than mine, that's for sure. He unlocked the door with his keys, and as soon as we were in, he shut the door, locked it, and I could see his whole body relax. I felt sick again, wondering if this was what he went through every day.
He led me through a hallway, towards the back of the house (it was only one story) where his room was, and once we were there he threw his backpack onto his desk and slumped into the bed. I stood stiffly by the door, not knowing what to do.
"Hey," he said, tapping the mattress next to him. "Come here." He looked awfully at ease, considering how scared he'd just been when walking from the bus stop.
I took a deep breath and laid my backpack next to his before joining him on the bed. I sat on the edge, leaving space between us, but Ian close the distance and put his hand on my thigh.
"Relax," he said, squeezing my leg, which made my dick get a little hard.
"I'm sorry," I said, "I'm just nervous."
"You've got nothing to be nervous about," he assured me.
I nodded. "So... what did we have to talk about?"
Ian smirked, before getting up and straddling me, grabbing my face with both his hands. "I think we both know you didn't come here to talk." Then he kissed me.
As soon as our lips made contact he opened his mouth, and next thing I knew, our tongues were intertwined and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. He started grinding on me, and I grabbed hold of his slim hips. Even though I'd done this with Danny for two months straight, it was never this intense, cause I could tell he wasn't really into it. Danny seemed to be with me simply because he liked the idea of having a boyfriend, he wasn't into me at all, but Ian was kissing me like he wanted to swallow me whole. I'd never been harder in my entire life.
Suddenly Ian pulled back. "Fuck!" he said, with wide eyes, "you're a good kisser!"
I chuckled. "Well, two months of doing nothing but that will give you practice." He looked at me funny, and I remember he had no idea what I was talking about, since all he knew about me and Danny was what I'd said at the party.
He didn't seem to care, though, cause he pulled off his shirt, revealing his slender torso, pale, smooth and beautiful, then pushed me back onto the bed and went back to kissing me deeply.
I pulled back briefly to take my shirt off as well, and we kept kissing as Ian felt up my chest and abs as I ran my hands up and down his back, feeling every inch of his exposed smooth, silky skin as he started whimpering. He was firmly sitting on my lap, grinding his hips into my hard on, before abruptly pulling back again.
"What's wrong?" I asked, out of breath.
"This is too much!" he said. "We gotta slow down." I nodded, gasping for breath. I was disappointed, but he was right, if we kept going I'd cum too fast.
Then he scooted back a little until he was sitting on my thighs instead of my lap, and he started unbuckling my belt.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He looked up at me from under his bangs, but continued his efforts, now pulling down the zipper on my jeans. "What does it look like?" he asked, pulling down the front of my underwear.
"Shit," I whispered. "Is this your idea of slowing down?"
He chuckled. "I meant for me. You can still cum." He pulled my straining dick out and kneeled on the floor in front of me. He tugged at my pants and I raised my butt off the bed so he could pull them all the way down to my ankles. Without further notice, he took hold of my dick and dove down on it.
I let out a long moan, but I forced myself to open my eyes and sit up. I had to see this.
Ian seemed to be transfixed, eyes closed and bobbing up and down on my dick with his red bangs covering his face as he caressed my naked thigh with his free hand. It was a fucking hot sight, but I wanted to see his pretty face, so I brushed the hair off his face with one hand, and I kept it there at the back of his head so they wouldn't fall again.
Then he opened his eyes and they made contact with mine, and as corny as it might sound, I felt butterflies in my stomach. There was just something about seeing this beautiful boy with hazel eyes drooling on my dick that pulled me in. Looking at him, still sucking me off and making sweet whimpering sounds while he held eye contact with me, I started to feel weird things in my chest. Things I'd only felt with Danny before.
Suddenly I had a flashback to when I was back in Malibu and I was in the same exact position. The guy that'd sucked me off that time was one of my neighbors. I'd known him for years, and I'd always suspected he was gay - he was short, skinny and nerdy, but that wasn't why I thought he might be into guys, it was the fact that we used to play together, along with all the other neighbor kids when we were younger, but as we got older, he started becoming shy and started looking at me funny whenever he thought I wasn't looking, especially once I turned fifteen and started working out. Also, whenever me and my friends went to the beach I'd notice him sitting by himself, pretending to read a book while he was clearly checking us out. Then one day when we were already eighteen I was mowing the lawn in my front yard, shirtless like I usually did, and I noticed this same guy - his name was Jamie - went out into his front yard as well to take out the trash. His house was just across the street from mine, and he'd already dumped the trash, but he was still standing there, just looking at me with longing in his eyes. Suddenly he realized I'd seen him watching me, and he got a panicked look on his face as he obviously debated whether or not to flee in terror.
I don't know why, but I felt a need to soothe the kid, so I waved at him, and he blushed, but he shyly waved back.
