Disclaimer: Hey guys! Here's another chapter of the Nick and Cory saga. Be mindful that bareback sex will be included from here on out. I still have more in store for these two so look out for the updates as they come. Please let me know what you guys think. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated.
*****
I scurried into the restaurant and scooted into that familiar booth beside my friends. This was our spot. We'd been coming here for years after school for a good burger or Rueben. Some days we toasted to cheese fries and onion rings, other days we drowned our sorrows in black and white milkshakes and peach cobbler. My appearance was met with a loud hollering and I made my way down the line, shaking hands and half hugging each of them.
Connor spoke first, "About time you made it, not like you be late Nick." That was met with snickering across the table.
Tyler followed suit, "Come on now guys, my friend Nick here was probably off fantasizing about Casey Montgomery like he did all throughout high school."
I turned red, "You know I really regret telling you that."
Tyler smiled proud, "All good dude. Besides I ran into Casey the other day and he's definitely still straight. He has two kids with two different moms."
Mitch added in, "And to think Nick, one of those kids could be yours." The table erupted in laughter and I shook my head, drinking down the beer set in front of me.
I swallowed, "If I had known I'd get this much support, I would have come out to you guys a lot sooner."
Connor pat my shoulder, "Four years later and that's still the biggest shocker of 2013. I had plans for us man. Quinn's sister was totally into you."
I rolled my eyes thinking about her yet for the life of me, I couldn't remember her name. Truth be told, we were probably into the same kind of guys. It was a different time back then. Re-joining the conversation, I asked, "How is Quinn these days? You guys still going strong?"
Connor nodded, "Seven years later and she hasn't dumped me yet. I count that as lucky."
Tyler pushed, "Dude she's known you since puberty- it's a miracle she hasn't run for the hills."
Mitch sipped his beer, "How bout you Nick? Seeing anyone? You know my barber is gay, I should give you his number."
I sat back for a second riding out Mitch's punchline, wondering what it was that Cory and I were. Last week it was clear that it was just sex but these days between the staying over, and hand-holding and use of the word "baby"- I started to think otherwise.
I snapped back, "Nope- I'm kinda laying low these days. Trying to figure my life out." I looked down, looking at the foam on the surface of my beer wishing that was the whole truth. One way or another, my statement wasn't exactly wrong.
Connor raised his glass, "Well then here's to being 22- a time of your life when you think you're supposed to have all the answers, but the reality is the opposite."
I raised my own beer, cheering "Here, here!" along with the echo of my friends.
The four of us finished up our meal and started to go our separate ways. Mitch and Tyler rode together and were already out the door while Connor and I paid for our bills. As we stepped out of the familiar establishment, Connor rested his hand on my shoulder.
Connor probed, "So what's really going on with you, man?"
I turned, puzzled, "What do you mean?"
Back in the restaurant, "Mitch asked if you were seeing anyone and it took you way too long to answer. You had that classic 'Nick staring off into his inner subconscious' look plastered on your face."
I protested, "Nah dude, I-I"
He stood firm, "Nick. You don't have to play coy with me, dude. I've known you since your family moved here and I suddenly wasn't the only six-year-old in the neighborhood. What's the situation?"
I exhaled, letting down some walls as I spilled the truth. "To be honest. I don't know what the situation is Connor. I met this guy a week ago and we've been hooking up since. And for a while I thought that was it."
He peered his eyes, "But you like him?"
I nodded, "Yeah. I think I do." Hearing those words escape my mouth was a satisfying release of pent up emotion that I held back for a while. I went on, "And lately, I'm starting to think he might like me back."
He raised his arms, "Then what's the problem dude?" I may have been known to examine my life too often, but Connor was the opposite. He was all black and white, right or wrong, yes and no. He always tried to rationalize every situation into two options but it couldn't always be that simple.
I answered trying not to give too much away, "We just can't be together. Not now and maybe not for a while. And there's nothing I can do about it..." I inhaled deeply, trying to hold myself back, finishing off it, "It's complicated."
Connor rested both hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye, offering, "Nick. You spent most of your life hiding a big part of who you are and you did that for reasons all your own. You of all people should be done with hiding. I know I'm making this out to be black and white when in reality, it's probably all shades of grey, but sometimes things are only as complicated as we make them out to be. Promise me you'll at least put yourself out there."
I held my breath. My body was just begging me to tell Connor the full story- to explain all the fucked up shades of grey the actual situation was. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I needed him to think that it was just two people with wrong timing. I exhaled, but none of that frustration came out. Instead, I offered the words, "I promise." Knowing it wasn't something I could keep.
I made my way back home from the restaurant a little past three pm. I sluggishly made it up the stairs to my bedroom, stripping off every piece of clothing like they were layers of armor. After three practical back to back sessions, my body finally caught up to me. As I eased into bed, feeling the soft fabric against my bare skin, I finally relaxed fully. Moments away from drifting asleep, I wondered what Cory had in store for later. But before I could make any guesses, my fatigue took over and I fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of my phone going off. Reaching over to the nightstand, I checked as the time read 5:30. Looking through my found I saw a text from Cory that read, "Meet me at my place around 7. Can't wait to see you."
Stepping out of what was my third shower of the day, I dried myself off in front of the mirror. There, standing stark naked, I looked at how exposed I was. Not just the bare aspect of it, but how vulnerable I had made myself. I went over to Cory that first day and I entered into a situation I could not see a way out of. At least not one where no one gets hurt.
Still, as I got dressed and doused myself in expensive cologne, I caught a smile streak across my face. I liked him. I wanted to see him. And whatever capacity that was- I would take the opportunity. Buttoning up the towards my neck, I shook off some nerves of excitement. Who knew what Cory had in store?
I knocked on his door five minutes to 5:30, and my heart raced faster than any mile I could run. Just a week ago I was in this same position- knocking on a stranger's door wanting something from him. This time around, the only thing I wanted was for him to no longer be a stranger. This time around, it felt like two guys really trying to get to know each other.
Cory opened the door milliseconds after I knocked as if he was waiting on the other side of the door for me. I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me blush. He swung open the door and my face was met with a boyish smirk that filled out his face.
He peered me in the eyes, letting out a low, "Hey."
I grinned, offering a warm, "Long time no see." He nodded and I caught myself leaning in closer, dying to taste his lips as if I had never savoured them before. But right as my lips were about to press onto his, I felt his firm hand brush against my chest. We stood there for a second, centimeters from touch, eyes fixed against each other.
He stepped back slightly, clearing his throat, "I would like to take you out tonight, Nick."
I looked back, puzzled, "Um yeah, I think that's been established."
He flashed a winning smile, "See I was raised as a gentleman. And gentlemen don't kiss on the first date."
I watched as he held back laughter, trying really hard to contain how absurd it was. I extended my hand, grabbing his in a shake- it was a touch definitely appreciated, but not quite as satisfying as what I had in mind. Leaning in, I asked, "So how do 'gentlemen' feel about hugs?"
He raised a brow, "Hugs are accepted."
I entered Cory's warm embrace, feeling his chest press against mine as our arms interlocked. I leaned in with my face nuzzling up against his neck, breathing in his aftershave that intoxicated me with every passing second. I debated for a second if I should break his rules and dive face first into a hurling kiss. I knew that once his lips met mine, he wouldn't be able to hold back. But I decided to play along. This hug will have to do...for now.
Cory pulled away, breaking the trance that I saw in his own eyes. He cleared his though, "Shall we go?"
I nodded, squeezing the hard on that simple touch had next between my legs and followed him out to the driveway. We jumped into his Jeep Wrangler and drive down the highway hearing the wind speed past us through the slightly cracked windows.