Matt's POV:
Going back to the apartment was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Sure, the scene with James and then Paul was one of the hottest of my life, but it was wrong. Or, more correctly, they were wrong to have taken advantage of me and I was wrong to have submitted to them. I had become so used to obeying Tan that I had lost my will to question the orders of the Chinese boys and now I was going to have to face the music, as I deserved, back at the apartment. To say I was fearful would have been a tremendous understatement!
When I walked in the front door, Tan was waiting for me, fully dressed having joined his family for a late Sunday morning Mass and then lunch. Seeing him looking so mature and formal made me feel even more pathetic. I was shaking like a leaf with, almost overcome by my nerves and cast my eyes down towards the floor unsure of what he would say.
Tan immediately took control of the situation, as always, and ordered me to strip naked, to immediately strip my bed of the sheets from the prior night with James and to put everything in the wash using only hot water, detergent and bleach. After having begun that task, he directed that I take a very thorough shower and then report to him back in the living room.
I was relieved to have something to do. It kept me, albeit briefly, from pondering my fate. But unfortunately, I could only prolong my shower for so long. Given that much of our limited hot water went into the washing machine, I had no choice but to scrub my body and especially my well-worn pussy fast if I was to ensure I could endure whatever Tan had planned for me.
Seemingly all too soon, I was standing naked in front of a very controlled but pissed, young Vietnamese stud.
"Matt, things have gotten out of hand!" Tan said, his voice soft and controlled with an almost steel timbre. "I am very disappointed in you but even more disappointed in myself," he continued, to my utter shock! "Seeing Paul and James using you showed me several things....the first being just how hot you are not only to me but to others like me. But it also indicated that I have failed in some ways to train you properly, and have been immature and selfish in my control of you which will have to stop."
As Tan said these things, I was on my knees in front of him, my hands at my side as he had long ago taught me was a position of respect. His words confused me....as he had never demonstrated remorse or humility in my presence. I also began to wonder if he was losing interest in me or perhaps even wanted to get rid of me because he had witnessed others using me without his express blessing or permission....thereby violating both of us.
Tan continued, "Matt, I'm only 18 and had no real idea of how challenging it would be to take on responsibility for another person. In my immaturity, I became selfish. I took advantage of your submissive nature and failed to both respect and protect you from others who clearly want what I have had with you. For this, I sincerely apologize."
He went on, "Still, all that being said and generally speaking, I believe you have been basically content and happy with our arrangement. You never complain and are quick to do whatever tasks I give you and, like a perfect submissive, you anticipate my needs so well that I rarely if ever really have to punish you. You look so young and innocent for your age, and sexually, you've been with only four men in your life that I often feel older and more mature than you. However, you are a person and not a possession. Therefore, Matt, it is time for you to think about and to tell me what it is that you want so that I nor anyone else takes advantage of you as may have happened this weekend."
With these words, Tan, once again, blew my mind. He had mastered me sexually, and despite my eight-year maturity in age, he was showing a level of psychological maturity far in excess of my own. To say I was overwhelmed would have been an extreme understatement. The truth was, I didn't really know myself. I had been such a reclusive virgin when Huan and Tan "brought me out" so to speak.
All my life up to that point I had been a gay in denial. And, if I was honest, I had no regrets over what had happened for had I not encountered these two Vietnamese boys, I may never have had a sexual experience or realized that I truly was a total sexual bottom and primarily attracted to strong-willed Asian men.
But what did I really want with my life? I loved what I had with Tan both physically and mentally, but what was lacking in some aspects at least was emotional. Tan enjoyed his mastery over me and I enjoyed his mastery of me. He fulfilled a primal need that I had to serve a strong-willed Asian man. But life is more than sex and what was lacking in all of this was an emotional connection.
I intensely respected Tan, and, for the past several months I really lived to serve him. I took care of everything in the apartment much as a devoted wife would, and I met his every sexual need. In return, he took me to sexual and psychological heights I could only have imagined.
