WARNING-DO NOT attempt this at a furniture store near you.
*
"We need new lounge furniture," Leonard said. "Our old arm chairs are looking really sad and saggy. I don't like Veronica buying furniture as she always gets something flashy and cheap and never wants to try it out properly first. I like good furniture, you know . . . My grandmother has stuff that was her mothers, and it's still comfortable and solid. Are you . . ."
"Yes. I can come along and help you pick it out," I said, knowing just what Leonard was going to ask, as I had helped him to choose their new bed just a few months before.
It's important with furniture that you try it first before you buy it, and Veronica isn't keen on trying furniture out. And that can be very dangerous. I mean a bed should be good to sleep on but also has to be good to fuck on. And if you don't try it first? Well how can you really be sure? It took two Saturdays for Leonard and I to find just the right bed. And after the work we had put in selecting the right one, his wife, Veronica, had been more than happy with it.
So Leonard and I made a time to meet the following Saturday, at Lounges Galore in Warners Bay, and of course Leonard headed straight for the Upper Level section where the better furniture was. There he slowly passed up and down the rows of lounge chairs with me following behind him.
"This one?" he suddenly asked, looking down at a modern, blue chunky chair
"Um, a very low back," I said, not liking the look of it at all, "No head support. And the arms . . . so narrow."
"Oh, you're right," he said happily, seeing I was right, and we moved on.
"That's the sort of colour we need," he told me, when he stopped next.
"Nice," I said, but shrugged as the chair itself looked a bit narrow, but Leonard was moving on anyway.
"Now this looks good," he said warmly, stopping in front of a solid old style recliner. "Good solid wide arms, high back."
"Good wide seat," I added and I picked up the tag hanging from the back, "And a big range of fabric choices."
Leonard sat in it and wriggled his backside. "Humm, seems comfy." He threw a leg over one arm, "Not a bad height, I think we'll try this one out."
Getting up he signalled for a service assistant, and a slim short man, smart in a dark navy suit hurried over, all smiles and helpfulness, "Can I help you gentlemen?"
"We'd like to try this one in the testing room," Leonard told him.
"Just this one for the gentlemen's pleasure?"
"No. I am sure we will find a couple more, but we definitely want to try this one."
We moved on and Leonard spotted another chair he liked soon after, "Timber, I like real timber," he said looking rather approvingly at the wood trim on the Italian style chair, with a curved back and flaring arms. "European design," he read from the tag, "Available in six fabrics and leather."
"Not leather," I said, "No. Too sweaty and . . . cleaning."
"Oh," he said, "Yes of course. But fabric?"
"Easier to clean," I said, "But is it too formal looking though?
"No. I like formal, and so does Veronica, when it's actually in the house in front of her."
He signalled to the service assistant again. Leonard now had two possible chairs and he found his third and fourth options in the next row.
"They are so alike, I am not sure which one I like the look of best," he said, as he studied them, "So lets try both," he added, giving me a wide grin as he called the navy suited service assistant over again.
I had no objection to trying out four chairs as I have always enjoyed testing furniture, especially with Leonard. I just wished he was considering another new bed. We'd tried six out over two weekends. Very enjoyable. But unfortunately him and Veronica were more than happy with the one he finally chose, and it had a 20 year guarantee. I sighed.