Tribute to a Cocsucer

When I was young, I was involved in a folklore group in Pennsylvania. I was very interested in the culture and as I became more proficient in the music and language, I became one of the featured performers, and was becoming recognized throughout the ethnic community. Nick, a man who was about my parents' age and whose daughter was in our ensemble, did a lot of volunteer work for the group. In addition to his regular job, he hosted an ethnic radio program where he promoted the culture on his weekly show. Nick was not bad looking, had a deep radio voice, a strong handshake and, being a salesman, was well groomed and dressed.

When I entered college at the age of 18, I was with the ensemble as a performer and stayed on as an instructor. With my performance ability and personality, I was considered to be an up and coming leader in that ethnic community. As such, Nick took on the role as my mentor. Despite the age difference, we developed a good friendship. We sometimes talked and joked about things that normally guys who are the same age do, such as women and sex. We became very close and, in time, he asked me to join him on his program. I agreed, and every Sunday, he would pick me up from church and we would go to the radio station for the broadcast. Then he would drop me off at my house before he returned home.

Outside of when we did the radio program, we also spent some time together, discussing my possibilities of assuming a leadership role in the ethnic community. I assumed that with Nick's status and connections he could make that happen. Along with recognition, I could get a pretty good job with the fraternal society and have a long career there. Sometimes we would stop and have a drink at a local restaurant. They didn't card me, although I was obviously underage, because I think they knew Nick and turned a blind eye to it. It was the 70s, and things were different then.

I wasn't one of the cool guys when I was in high school. I wasn't athletic, or a teenage heart-throb. In fact, I was a nerd. None of that changed when I entered college. I didn't date anyone, so I had plenty of time to concentrate on other things. Lack of attention from the opposite sex was pretty frustrating, but I was enjoying Nick's attention and career aspirations for me.

I was a confirmed heterosexual, but I was self-conscious and bashful around girls, so I had a hard time approaching them. I was fearful of rejection, so to avoid getting hurt, I was never direct, but passive, hoping that friendship would blossom into something more.

I had already been introduced to sex by an older woman, but that's a whole other story. At the time I was euphoric and still then fantasized about the experience, but that was over with no prospects of starting up again.

Nick was married and had one child, a daughter, so I figured that he wished he had a son, and that was one of the reasons he took a liking to me. Nick's wife was wonderful, but, wasn't attractive at all. I wondered why a man like him didn't have a good looking wife. So, anyway, I knew why his daughter suffered in the looks department. In our car rides, he would oftentimes steer the conversation toward sex. Nick sensed that I wasn't dating -- and he was right. Sometimes he'd ask me about my love life -- or the lack of it. I thought that maybe he was considering hooking me up with his daughter. She was a little slutty, which would have been fine with me, but she wasn't cute at all and I hoped that that wasn't what Nick was setting me up for.

Well, I found out soon enough. Once, he "confided" in me that he had had a homosexual relationship some time ago, with a guy he met in his sales job. He would go out to eastern Pennsylvania and they would hook up. I was nervous about why he was revealing this to me, but he had piqued my prurient interest, so I didn't stop him. He got into pretty graphic detail about how he would give his homosexual partner blow jobs and that he had both given and received anal sex, and how he loved when he and his "hook up" would spend nights together in a hotel room after he made his sales calls.

Suddenly I realized that he wasn't just revealing a deep dark secret, but that he was coming on to me. He was waiting to see what my reaction was. I was kind of taken aback, but not entirely surprised. The meetings, the talks where he would build up my self-confidence, the drinks, the dinners - he was grooming me. He was setting me up to seduce me. I was really horny and was aching for sex. I masturbated daily, sometimes more than once, and was longing for real sex -- meaning sex with someone else other than my hand. I wasn't sure, but maybe I could enjoy sex with a man, even if it was with an older man.

Well, it didn't take long before I found out what Nick had in mind. The next time we stopped at the bar, we discussed the usual stuff and then he said he needed to stop by his house before he dropped me off at my home. It was later at night and as he pulled into his driveway, he turned off the car but he didn't get out. Instead, he reached over and put his hand on my leg. It was dark and the lights in his house were out, but I wondered if his family had heard the car, so I was pretty nervous -- both at the thought of what was coming and worried about getting caught.

He told me not to worry -- he lived in a split level. His bedroom was on the backside of his house and the living room was facing the driveway but was elevated, so it would have been difficult to see down into the car. He slid closer and placed his hand on my crotch to feel my already erect cock. He moved to my neck and breathed deeply. I think he wanted to kiss me, but I kept my face slightly turned away. I didn't want to look him in the eyes and didn't like the idea of kissing a man. Also, I think that I was a little ashamed of what I knew was about to happen. Soon he started to fumble with my belt buckle, but I wasn't ashamed enough to not help him, so I unbuckled it. He pulled down my zipper and reached inside to grab hold of my cock through my underwear. Suddenly, we both felt an urgency, because I quickly lifted my ass so that he could pull my pants and underwear down.

I'm not large - my fully erect circumcised penis is just an average 5 and a half inches long and not very thick, but Nick told me how nice it was, and I had to silently agree with him. I liked the look of my penis. I was very thin, not muscular and had no fat on my body, so it looked big enough to me.

Nick didn't waste any time. As the story goes, "he spoke not a word, but went straight to his work". He somehow maneuvered himself into position to be able to suck my cock. The front seat is not conducive to having sex, but lust won out. He buried his face in my crotch and rubbed my cock on his lips to taste my sticky precum. Then to my surprise, he pulled his teeth out of his mouth. I didn't know he had dentures. After that, the game was on. When he started licking and sucking I began trembling with excitement and felt like I was going to cum immediately; but, apparently, he was an experienced cocksucker, because he pulled off and let me settle down before he continued sucking. He didn't want it to be over that quickly and neither did I.

When I masturbated frequently to the Penthouse Magazine "Letters", I usually lubricated my hand with my saliva to simulate oral sex, but this was entirely different. A wet hand is no substitute for a warm mouth. When he resumed, he held my cock at the base and licked more slowly, swirling his tongue around the head. Nick had me quivering with pleasure and anticipation. I was enjoying his ministrations and I started to get that feeling again. I started squirming and Nick, knowing that I was close, decided to finish me off. He bobbed up and down on my cock quickly and used more mouth pressure. I was glad that he didn't have his teeth in. I had never had a blow job, but the feeling of just gums on my shaft was, I imagined, better than having teeth in the way. When he felt me start to ejaculate, he went down my shaft all the way to my balls, and held my cock in his mouth, while he swallowed all of my cum. After I stopped spurting, he actually sucked a bit harder to make sure he didn't miss a drop.

I was still shaking as he released my cock from his mouth - and he was trembling as he snuggled by my neck again. I think he was hoping I'd changed my mind about a kiss but I hadn't. He sort of giggled, kind of like it was a new experience for him, but it wasn't. He said that it had been a long time and told me how good my cum tasted. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I was just confused, not knowing if I was repulsed by cumming in another man's mouth or whether I enjoyed it. He put his teeth back in and I pulled up my pants. Then he drove me home.

We didn't meet again over the next couple of weeks except when he picked me up after church on Sunday to go to do the radio show - and we didn't talk about what had happened. The relationship was strictly professional.

Then, one time he suggested that I come over to his house and we would plan the radio show together. When I arrived, I pulled into the driveway and entered his house. I was a little nervous when I spoke to his wife in their living room before she left us to work on the show. She was very nice and gracious and obviously oblivious to what had happened in her driveway, just a couple of weeks ago. Nick and I spent the evening picking out music as dedications for contributions we had received and reviewed commercials that we'd read on the air. When I was leaving he walked me to my car. He said he wanted to talk to me before I left, so he got in the passenger seat and closed the door. I thought he'd say he was sorry that he had caught me off guard and had taken advantage of my sexual needs and horniness.

Well, instead, Nick told me how much he had enjoyed what happened that first time and that he couldn't stop thinking about it. Then he placed his hand on my thigh and, in an instant, I figured I'd be foregoing masturbating that night. Nick again began to fumble with my zipper, and without hesitation, I pulled it down, lifted my ass and slid my pants and underwear down my legs while pivoting out of the way of the steering wheel. I decided not to think about, but to just sit back and enjoy his warm skilled mouth. Just like the first time, Nick buried his face in my crotch, quickly licked the precum off the tip of my cock, removed his dentures and proceeded to start sucking me off. Paying more attention to what was happening this time, I could feel that he was kind of inching his way down my cock a little at a time, lubricating it with his saliva and making slurping sounds. He was "making love" to my cock and it felt amazing.

I didn't know what to do with my hands. He didn't need me to put them on his head to guide him, he obviously knew what he was doing, and he clearly didn't need any encouragement. And I would have felt weird touching him anywhere -- I had never touched a man sexually - so I just let them rest at my sides.

This time, he showed me no mercy and I quickly shot my cum load into his mouth, which he swallowed, all of it, not wasting a drop. Then he put his teeth back in his mouth and snuggled by my neck. I pulled up my pants and started the car. It wasn't cold outside, but I shivered all the way home.

The die was cast. I wasn't "getting any" from the girls I was secretly hoping to hook up with, but I had gotten a couple of blow jobs that I'd likely never ever get from any of them. This ritual continued pretty much on a weekly basis for some time.

Eventually, I started having a little luck and began dating some girls, but getting a weekly blow job and having my partner swallow my cum was something I just couldn't give up.

It did surprise me that Nick never pressured me into anything reciprocal, so I was "dumb and happy". But I began wondering why he didn't, and fully expected that some day we would be in a situation when it was "my turn". I started to question my sexuality and thought that I might be bisexual, since I liked receiving blow jobs from another man. Also since he mentioned anal sex, I wondered what that would be like and began preparing myself, just in case he might "catch me with my back turned".

So when I worked up the nerve, I asked him why he never tried to get me to suck him off. It was then that he told me that he had prostate issues and couldn't get an erection. Well, I felt sorry for him, so when we were alone in another setting, he sucked me off, as usual, and I grabbed for his cock, which, of course, was soft. He asked me what I was doing, and I said that I was going to suck his dick. I told him I wanted to "thank him" for what he was doing for me. He said it was ok. He couldn't get hard, so I would be just wasting my time. I took that as a challenge. I pulled down his pants and underwear and told him to sit down on a chair. I took his flaccid penis in my hand and mouth and started to lick the head and shaft and I wanted to taste cum for the first time. He told me it wasn't going to happen. I was determined to give him a blow job, but after a while, I realized that he was right. I couldn't get him hard, and so I couldn't get him to ejaculate. This was way before there were any drugs to help men with ED. I kind of wish there had been. Therefore, this was a "one way street". I got to cum in Nick's mouth any time I wanted to, but I didn't have to do anything in return.

I thought about fucking him in the ass, but (spoiler alert), he had a heart condition and had had a previous heart attack. I was literally afraid that the act might kill him, so I didn't even suggest it. I also realized that I didn't need to worry about what a cock in my ass would feel like. I did get him to lick my ass a couple of times when he was sucking me off on the floor, by lifting it up to signal what I wanted. I couldn't ask, but I figured he'd take the hint. His tongue on my asshole was an intensely erotic feeling, but he really wasn't into it and quickly moved back to suck me so he could feel my cock pulsate and pump my cum into his mouth, which he always swallowed with such enthusiasm and apparent gratitude.

Well, as fate would have it, Nick had another heart attack. That was a bad one. He was laid up for a while and couldn't do the program, so I took on a radio partner, a male friend with whom I had a purely platonic relationship. He and I would go to Nick's house together, to plan out the program. In Nick's condition, the excitement of sex was off limits, and, in any event, someone else was there, so, unfortunately, our weekly "suck off" sessions stopped. After Nick recovered well enough to come back to the program, we all continued to do the weekly show for a while, but eventually funding dried up and we had to go off the air.

Nick and I remained friends "without benefits" for a few years after that, meaning that we never resumed our sexual relationship. I found a girl and got married. Nick was at our Wedding. Then one day I got a call that Nick had had yet another heart attack and was in intensive care. Shortly after that Nick passed away.

It's been about 40 years, and I'm still wondering about my bisexual urges. I sometimes visit adult book stores where I have received great blow jobs -- and the men always swallow. Seeing these middle aged men on their knees sucking me off reminds me a lot of Nick, except that, now I'm not a generation younger than them. These guys are pretty much my age. Sex with strangers in a video booth is exciting - it's just "raw, non-emotional, no commitment ball draining, zip back up and slip out quickly into the dark, start the car and go home" sex - but it's too dangerous to be on the receiving end. I'm afraid of HIV, so I haven't reciprocated, although, I would love to help a younger man, who I was confident was disease free, deal with his sexual frustrations. I want to feel a young hard cock, pulsating and shooting spurt after spurt of hot cum into my mouth. I might even change my mind on that kissing thing, as long as he's willing to taste his own cum.

This is not the usual place to post a tribute to anyone, but, due to the subject matter, I think it's appropriate. Thank you, Nick. I wish I could suck your cock and swallow your cum, to show you how much I appreciate what you did for me. You were a friend, a mentor, and a sexual partner, when I needed it most.