Touched & Fuced but Not Loved

Hi All! Thanks for the great response and encouraging feedback.

This chapter entails my journey of the most blissful and eventful night of my life!! It took me little longer to publish this as it was a lot harder than I thought to pen down my emotions.

Pseudonyms used to protect privacy. Both characters above the age of 18 years.

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08 June 2019 (somewhere in the better half of the night)

While he kept fondling with my body making sweet sweet love to me, I started confessing my long pent up desires and love for his soul, body and heart.

All these confessions got the better of me and my mind started remembering the silent pain of wanting him for so many years, the disappointment of never getting him and the resentment with myself for not being able to be enough for him.

All these feelings I had been going through for the past few years until tonight came rushing back to me.

It wasn't just my lusty desires I was confessing to Pedro but I was pouring, in my words and my actions, all my heart's desires of wanting him, of loving him so much.

Overwhelmed with all these emotions, I started having a panic attack thinking about the past, thinking about the future.

Will we get to have some more time like this?

Will he ever truly love me?

Will we be able to ever really be together?

Will I be able to satiate his desires, his needs, his wants?? Will I actually be enough for him, will I be able to make him happy??

My mind went into over-drive and my body went in shock.

I just hugged him placing my head on his strong chest and said, "Pedro, I am scared!!"

He stopped his fondling and immediately held me in his arms saying, "AJ, don't be scared.

"Fuck! Forget all this we are doing. You first just be all right. I am there with you and I will see this through with you. Don't worry! I will always stand behind you."

Hearing his reply, my panicked heart calmed a little, my eyes watered a little and I smiled a little.

He understood all the confusion and doubt in my heart and mind and directly attacked it.

He assured me of his presence in my life.

I became happy realizing that he understood how I would break if I didn't have him in my life, he was aware of how much I was investing myself in this relationship through this physical act of ours, he acknowledged my love which blossomed for him.

Alas! I would soon realize in a few days how far from truth I was that night. I would soon realize how much I had taken for granted and willingly walked into the abyss of my own making.

But tonight, well tonight we FUCK!! And boy did we fuck!!

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08 June 2019

When Pedro started to bite, my mouth blurted, "Is that the best you can do?"

My mind, on the other hand, was having a tsunami of thoughts of its own in those few nanoseconds of him touching me:

'Is it really happening? Did I really have Pedro slowly biting his way up my arms?'

'Did he really want to have sex with me?'

'Should I really be encouraging him or stop him?'

'Maybe he is not in his senses, maybe he will regret it later. Once we cross this barrier, there is no going back.'

'Maybe I should stop him and make him feel what its like to have your advances rejected?'

'Has he not been playing with my heart and mind for so long, why should I cave in so quickly now that he finally wants to have sex with me?'

'If I do cave in so quickly, how much better off or different would I be from the countless other faceless sluts he had been fucking for so long?'

'Shit! Did my mouth really blurted this statement? Am I really taking this ahead?'

All these weird life changing thoughts were rushing through me in a frenzy.

But through this all, I still knew deep down inside me that I wanted him; I wanted him a lot!!

So I chose to fuck the games, fuck the expectation management, fuck the payback!! This was Pedro, MY PEDRO, finally in my arms!!

I didn't want to play any games, I didn't want to berate him for keeping me hanging for so long, I didn't want to think of the future ahead.

I just wanted to live in this moment, live and breathe this surreal experience with the man of my dreams, the love of my life.

So I caved!! Immediately!

My stiff body calmed down and my eyes locked onto his.

That's when I, for the first time ever, saw lust, pure unadulterated true lust and want in his eyes. And I became consumed by lust myself.

He wanted me! My Pedro actually fucking wanted me!!

We spoke the most sincere and honest expressions we have ever exchanged through our eyes.

My eyes screamed my undying want for him.

This, coupled with my statement, prompted Pedro to take it all as a sign of my acceptance of his advances.

He then immediately bit down hard on my collarbone with such ferocity that I shouted out loud. He didn't let go and let his teeth sink further deep in me. I was in pure bliss.

He ruptured my blood vessels and ended up giving me my first of the many hickeys that night.

What we both didn't realize that time was that he had actually imprinted on me with his bite.

You see this first hickey he gave me is still there on me till date. It didn't fade away like the others ones.

This one for some cosmic reason stayed and has now become a part of my body.

On close observation, one can clearly see curve of teeth marks.

Its now been so many months since that fateful night and this hickey is my biggest torture now. Whenever I remove my shirt, I see it and am reminded of this night.

But oblivious to all these future developments that night, I locked my gaze with his, when he came up close to my face and I decided to up the ante with him.

I briefly murmured, "Let me do something even better" and I dove right in to plant a soft sensual kiss on his tasty lips.

He responded instantaneously and started kissing me back. Hard!

To say the kiss put my soul on fire would be a gross understatement. His lips were so fucking soft but the intensity of his kiss made it feel like they will just burn through my body and my soul.

I was pushing myself on him and he was pulling me on the bed. In a matter of seconds, I was completely on top of him and he was pinned below me.

My mind was in a whirlwind! I still don't know how I kept responding to his kisses. I thought I would just burst!!

With my hands on the side of his face cupping his cheeks and ruffling his hair, I kept on kissing him with all I had.

He soon started pushing his tongue to get me to open my mouth. I hesitated a little fearing if I could meet his expectations from me. He had made out with so many girls, that I felt very little and inexperienced in my endeavor.

But I had one thing these other girls lacked. My love for Pedro. Not for his body, but for him, for all of him.

He was giving me a chance to express my love through this act. So I let his tongue breach my lips.

And so began the tongue dance of this century. It wasn't an urgent down your throat french-ing, but an appreciative 'drinking in your flavor' kind of french kisses we were having.

I moaned and moaned and savored the taste of him coupled with a lot of vodka, I tell you.

But the faint taste of him I could taste. Oh boy, the sweet sweet taste of him. I silently prayed that I get to kiss him with this passion once he is fully sober.

He tasted like the first dew drops of a winter morning, like the first drop of rain, like the first golden ray of sunshine in the morning, like the first gush of wind during a summer day.

He tasted so magnificent and I kept praying that we keep kissing till the end of time.

But my Pedro got eager.

In a while, he slowly started moving his hands on my back and I suddenly became aware of his hard rod pressing against my thighs.

I thought I was in heaven. He seemed BIG!! I just held my breath back a little.

Our bodies were talking to each other. Our souls were pouring in one another with our sensual kisses.

Just then as if sensing my lustful daze, PP up'ed the ante by diving his hand straight in my boxers.

His hands were now on my BARE ASS!!

Lips pressed against him, I let out a loud moan.

And man did I moannnnn!!

I was like a bitch in heat!! And I wanted to devour him.

But I wasn't sure how to progress after our kissing and I was glad PP took the initiative.

I knew he wanted more than the passionate kisses we were sharing but I wanted him to set the pace.

I didn't want him to feel overwhelmed and wanted him to accept this all at his own pace.

But when he kept massaging my ass, I couldn't take it anymore.

I slowly moved my hands down his strong broad shoulders relishing in his stallion built and started stroking his biceps and arms.

Our mutual fondling continued for what felt like eternity and then I reluctantly broke our embrace to look at him.

His eyes opened up and he looked at me with such a lustful gaze.

I wanted more of him. Like a kid in a candy shop, I wanted him all to myself but I genuinely wanted to respect his pace.

So I asked him, "Pedro, what do you want?"

He shut his eyes and moaned jerking his head up. He knew the game I was playing.

He understood it was his choice. But he kept quiet.

I dove right back in attacking his neck with soft kisses nuzzling my face in the small opening he gave me in his neck.

He kept making these lustful longing sounds which were symphony to my ears.

I asked him again, "Pedro, what do you want?".

Ever so lightly, he responded, "Suck my dick!"

I smiled in ecstasy hearing this, for I knew he was finally ready to give himself to me.

Still, to be sure that he doesn't regret it later or doesn't get overwhelmed, I pushed him to think again, simply stating, "I didn't hear that."

With a hoarse high pitch, he immediately shot back, "AJ suck my DICK!!"

I gave him a mischievous smile and started kissing his neck again.

I would gladly suck his dick but that had to wait.

I wanted all of him.

I wanted to drink his entire being.

I was eager to get my prize but I wanted to have fun along the way.

I slowly made my way below his neck and started kissing him.

I quickly undid his shirt buttons and dove right back in kissing his collar bone, his broad manly chest, his juicy pink nipples, his stomach, his erotic belly button.

I spent my time admiring his beautiful body with my lips and my hands.

I sucked his soft pink nipples and he let out these amazing moans. I loved playing with his man boobs sucking his nipples eagerly.

I moved a bit down and then for the next couple of minutes, kept french-ing his belly button and loved his taste.

He kept grunting these cute little noises through this all.

I knew he was waiting for my lips to encircle his magnificent cock and with each passing moment he was getting more and more impatient.

I loved this sweet torture.

This was the payback for making me wait for over 4 years for this moment.

But then I finally reached his boxers and kissed his cock through the cloth.

He let out a loud moan and I couldn't take it anymore.

And I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I wanted his cock in me.

I quickly pulled his boxers with such urgency that his dick went down with the boxers and came back up to slap me right in my face. I loved the feeling.

I wanted Pedro to take my face and keep slapping it with his beautiful cock for the rest of eternity.

His urgent grunts bought me back to reality.

I took a moment to revel the specimen before me.

'Perfect' doesn't even begin to describe it.

I had seen a lot of porn but I never thought someone can actually have such a big thick dick.

I knew it would be long and thick given his built but man was I in for a wonderful surprise.

I used to see the outline of his cock and balls through the fabric of his pants while at work and fantasize about his dick but I didn't expect him to be packing such a nice big porn dick.

Now, I regretted not diving on his cock sooner.

I knew I would worship his cock tonight and I did just that.

I took most of him in one swift move without even batting an eyelid ensuring I encase my teeth with my lips. No one likes teeth on their dick and my Pedro was no exception to this I knew.

His dick in my willing mouth was pure bliss. It was so tasty and perfect.

In that moment when his dick was stretching the back of my mouth, I realized what I truly was.

I was a cocksucker - born to be one. No! What hit me like a truck was the realization that I was HIS cocksucker, my Pedro's cocksucker.

This act didn't make me Gay. This act made me his!!

My place was within his legs diving deep on his sweet tasty beautiful cock.

I couldn't satiate my lust and kept his dick in my mouth, swirling my tongue around, pulling back his foreskin and licking his shaft beneath, bobbing my head up and down in a craze filled lust. I tried to do all that I liked in a blowjob.

I wanted to deep throat him and encase him all in my mouth but alas I reminded myself I was a novice.

While I geared myself up to take him entirely by the end of the night, I prayed that my Pedro let's me please him beyond this night as well in case I couldn't.

What did let me keep going was his reaction.

PP kept moaning through this all encouraging me by saying, "Oh Fuck!!" and "Oh my God!!"

Alcohol had numbed my senses but I could still smell his masculine aura, taste his delightful skin and savor the pre-cum he was leaking. His dick was the best thing I had ever put in my mouth and I knew I will never get enough of it.

Finally, PP pulled me up and started kissing me ever so passionately.

I thanked a silent prayer that he didn't mind that my mouth was just on his dick for what felt like a century.

He turned me over and decided to take charge.

I chose to happily comply with his lead lying beneath him and just reached out and grabbed his delicious ass.

He tore off the skimpy slutty clothes I was wearing in two simple strokes and I was left completely naked and vulnerable in front of him.

He came back on top of me and started grinding his naked body to my now naked body.

I was always ashamed of my body. Never had I thought how I looked until this very moment

I was embarrassed, ashamed and dejected on such a hairy twink body. I wasn't good looking. I wasn't well built.

But Pedro, my dear sweet Pedro, did not show that disgust I expected.

Instead, he chose to make out with me like we were two very horny, very slutty teenagers.

While he had bedded many women, I think he was relishing finally being with a guy and was completely hooked.

I, on the other hand, was having a completely different experience for he was the second person ever, besides my wife, whom I was making love to.

With my heart and soul lost in his passionate kisses & sensuous touches and our naked bodies intertwined with each other, I couldn't believe that PP, my best friend for the past many years, was in my arms.

As if reading my mind, PP suddenly stopped and locked his gaze on me that sent shivers through my body.

He asked, "Is this really you AJ?"

Full of self doubt and pity, my self loathing mind spun into a whirlwind of thoughts thinking that maybe he is regretting this moment and doesn't want to be with me.

But determined to please him, I simply reverted saying, "I can be whoever you want me to be."

With genuine concern, care, and if I may dare say, love in his voice, he immediately tightened his grip on me and said, "NO!! I want you!! I want only my AJ!! I can't believe I am with you."

If I was hooked on him before, I am completely drown in him hearing this now.

I leaned in and gave myself to him completely, kissing him with such ferocity and passion, that I never knew existed in me, pouring my soul in his and losing myself in those beautiful eyes.

Till date, whenever I recount this entire scene specifically in my mind, I droll from both my mouth and my cock, for this was the moment I was consumed by both, love and lust.

Never had I felt such rush of emotions as I felt at that moment hearing him say this.

He asked me the same question three more times that night, stopping all of a sudden in the middle of our sex and looking at me so intently - as if he is drinking me in.

But after the first time, every time I responded by saying, "yes my love, it's me" and kissed him passionately on his soft lips.

God I was in love with his lips. They were so god damn sinful and were like the best aphrodisiac ever.

While we continued making out like horny teenagers, I was building myself up to eventually get fucked by him.

The thought both excited me and scared the shit out of me.

I gathered courage and tried to breach the subject by suggesting that I take out the lube and condoms from my bag.

He seemed to sense the conflict in my voice.

He took me back in his arms and kissed me again while cupping my ass.

I asked him hesitantly, "PP, what do you want?"

He left me shell shocked with his reply saying, "Fuck me AJ!!"

I was left agape. My mouth literally fell open.

I always thought I had figured out this man but he always found a way to surprise me when I least expected it.

That's what I loved the most about him.

He was as alpha as they come and yet he wanted me to fuck him silly with my small pencil dick.

I was immensely turned on by his proposition but was so fucking embarrassed to even think of the notion of me fucking him.

I never thought I'll take his cherry.

I had assumed I'll be the one bottoming out.

Wasn't there an unsaid rule that the smaller dick had to sub?

Then again, who was I to pass the opportunity to tap his irresistibly hot ass.

But I was still unsure of my fucking skills, so I couldn't gather the courage to actually go through with the act.

I laid on top of him instead and kept licking and kissing him.

I think he sensed my uneasiness for he again said, "Fuck me AJ!!", without even me asking his want again.

Forced to a corner, I had to comply.

I got out the lube and spent a good time lubing his hole.

His ass was so delectable that I wanted to eat it out but for some reason I was embarrassed asking him this.

So I just settled with fingering him with the lube which was also quite erotic and satisfying.

His moans encouraged me and soon I was putting on a condom and lubing it up as well.

I wanted to see his delicious face so I pushed him up against the head of the bed, lifted his legs up to his stomach and positioned my small cock in front of his sweet hole.

I pushed the petite mushroom head in and I felt such pleasure instantaneously.

I moaned deeply but kept my eyes locked on him.

I thrust in deeper and I saw his expressions change.

I thought maybe I rushed in too quickly.

Concerned, I stopped and asked, "Are you okay Pedro? Is it okay?"

He kept looking at me and then just blurted, "I want to pee."

I was flabbergasted to say the least.

I tried to push in a little more to encourage him to comply but he again repeated, "Wait!! I want to pee."

Now imagine this - The man of your dreams gives you the biggest shock when he says he wants you to fuck him, you then get to put your dick in him thinking you are about to get the best, sweetest, fuck fest of your life and just as you are about to start fucking his brains out, he asks you to pull out.

I wanted to fucking slap him, kiss him to ease his pain and then proceed to fuck his brains out.

I swear I really thought for a second to force myself on him.

I thought he just needed a little push, a little more reassurance that his manhood won't get affected with this act.

I thought he would eventually come around and be okay with me fucking him.