To Lust and to Love

The fanfare of the New York fashion show's success had hugged the Lifestyle's column for almost a week. Prominently displayed was Damon's smiling photograph; so suave and debonair. He was the new darling of the world of haute couture. There was even one caption introducing him as the most available bachelor of the year.

Cindy was swamped with calls from women and gays asking for appointment. Others were so brazen asking for a date with him and shockingly with a price offered.

To avoid answering these calls, he usually worked off-hour and stayed most of the time in his office. He instructed Cindy to thresh all in-coming calls and entertain calls and appointments which were strictly on business matters only. When he needed data about fashion and design activities only Cindy and Liza were requested in his office. Lately he did not come to the office anymore.

All these times, Damon never asked for me and it hurts my ego so much. I felt used and dumped like a rag after all we have been through. My designs were part of the New York fashion show's success. He could have even thank me for my hard works. He was unlike his father who treated me as an equal. I was always with Ram in celebrating every successful show we have done.

His indifference pained me so much but I tried not to show it. I accepted his ambivalence as his way of treating people; a part of his character. A weakness I have to accept if I really love him.

My passionate longing for him increased day by day. And what sustained me to do my work and live day to day were the memories of our times together.

After a few weeks of absence Cindy broke the news that Damon had married her French fiancée in Paris. "Imagine, during all the time we were conferring with him through the internet about or works, he was actually in Paris and getting married. It was not even him who told us the news of his nuptial. It was Bess. "

I was shocked and devastated by that news. Now, with Damon's marriage, I can only pine for his love which I can no longer have. With grief and tears flowing from my eyes I shut myself in the comfort room. I cried my heart out and even felt suicidal.

I decided to resign. I can't work with Damon anymore, for working with him will only add more pain and desperation to my life. When I regained composure, I decided to go home and would file a resignation tomorrow. I washed my face and avoided meeting Cindy. I gathered all my personal things and went home without saying goodbye.

I was already in front of my apartment when my cell phone flashed an in-coming call. My heart skipped a beat when Damon's name registered in the monitor. A moment of indecision gripped me and the phone rang many times. I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh before I decided to answer him. I was about to pick it up but the ringing ceased.

Minutes passed but it did not rang again. The monitor lighted again. It was a text this time and it was from Damon. " Call me. ASAP. URGENT."

My heart still ached and my mind rejected calling him. I decided to ignore the message. I even shut my cell phone.

I've decided to go to my retreat house in Baguio City where I can think clearly and decides what was best for me to pursue in my life. I needed a change. I will be 25 on my next birthday and I felt it is now high time for a change. But since night was about to fall I decided to rest tonight and travel tomorrow.

I removed my clothes to soak in my favourite bath to unwind the day's stresses. I put my scented jasmine bath bomb and regulated the heater for the water temperature. There was a life size mirror just off the tub where I can see my reflection while I bathed and I stopped to look at myself.

The eyes that met me were tired but still bore the haute look I've practiced long. The aquiline nose over the soft, full lips was sharp and well bridged. The facial skin tone was clear and flawless. The body though not well-muscled was proportional with traces of abs I got from my religious once a week work out in my fitness gym. There was a sprinkling of fine hair in my chest tapering to my abdomen darkening on my pubic area.

I traced my fingers at the image looking at me. I stopped at the slight bulge coming to life below my panty. The sheer lacy fabric outlined my cock which was cut and when fully aroused was almost six inches long. I closed my eyes when I grasped my penis but in the corner of my mind I imagined holding Damon's cock.

I mixed a highball of gin and tonic, his favourite drink and brought it to my bath tub. I lighted all the scented candles decorating a side of the huge tub. I touched the remote of a hidden audio recorder and the soft instrumentals of my favourite piano recording "Love Songs in Piano" wafted in my huge bathroom.

I removed my panty and soaked at my scented bath. I sipped at the spirit by my side and rested my head at the rim of the bath tub and closed my eyes. The warm scented water, the soft music and gin soothes my mind and soon I drowsed.

I was suddenly awakened by the incessant ringing of my door bell. Thinking it was my neighbour across the street, I ignored the bell. But it continued ringing, I decided to see who was at the door.

I grabbed my bathrobe and barefooted went to open the door.

"My goodness Chris Santos, what happened to you? You just went home without informing me. Damon called looking for you. We've been trying to reach you through your mobile and land phones. But both were busy. And now look, my fingertips were already bleeding in ringing your door bell. . ."

"Come on in Cindy. Stop making a scene, I'd file my resignation tomorrow and you should not have bothered coming here."

"What's the matter with you? Why were you resigning?"

I ignored her question and lead her in. "We've been friends since we started at Ram's House of Fashion, Christopher. Can't you explain to me why you were acting this way now?" she asked.

I need someone to unload the weight of my confused feelings, I sadly told her my sexual experience with Damon.

Cindy was speechless after my confession but after a while blurted, shaking her head. "Hadn't I warned you before never to fall in love with Damon? I believe he isn't gay. How could you expect him to love you? You're hallucinating, Chris, wake up."

"That's the reason why I wanted to resign, Cindy. With his marriage to his fiancée I wanted to set myself free from my fantasies. I could only do that if I won't be seeing him anymore."

"So why don't you talk to him? You said you were able to tell Damon you love him and if it is true that he had mellowed and treated you better before they went to New York, he must be falling for you. After all, I knew of married men with children and were bisexual and have gay secret lovers. Ask him to tell you honestly what he really feels for you."

With mouth wide agaped I stared unbelieving at Cindy. "His marriage with his fiancée has already written finished to whatever relationship I could ever expect from him."

Cindy touched my hand and confessed. "There had been no wedding Chris. Actually according to Damon himself the woman was not his fiancé but just a friend. She was a painter like him and they shared the same apartment. And they sexed freely. They've been careless once and the woman got pregnant. When Damon came home for Ram's funeral almost four months ago, she was already 7 months pregnant with their baby. She gave birth to a baby girl. Now, she wanted to go home to Sicily but she can't return to her parents with the baby. Since Damon became busy taking over the Fashion House affairs, she offered the baby for adoption to their land lady. That's the reason why he went to Paris; to get his love child and bring her here. They will be arriving the next day after tomorrow. Since he can't contact you, he gave me an ultimatum to find you or I'll lost my job. With his bad temperament, you knew, he'll do that, don't you? Please, Chris talk to him. Look, it's just 7:00 pm here that would be 1:00 pm in Paris," before I could say no Cindy was already dialing long distance to Paris.

It took her a little while then she handed her phone to me.

"Hello Chris," my hand shook and I almost dropped the phone when I heard Damon's voice.

He repeated calling me three times more before I was able to mumble a reply with shaking voice, "Y. . .yes Damon."

"How are you?" his voice was soft, almost a tired whisper. I was expecting him to yell as he usually did. "We'll be arriving via Air France the next day after tomorrow. Please meet me and my baby at the airport." He closed the line abruptly as tears started falling from my eyes. I cried unabashedly as I handed Cindy's cell phone back to her.

"My God, Chris can't you just say something and stop bawling."

Cindy excused herself , "I won't be joining you so that you can have a private moment with Damon," she teased.

"Won't Bess be there to meet Damon?"

"No. Damon wanted only you and me as the welcoming party. Damon doesn't want to call attention from the media so be there at almost exactly at the plane's arrival. I'll keep you posted so open your cell phone and be at the office tomorrow. We're going to buy something. And please tie your bathrobe. Your ware is poking out." Cindy laughed as she pointed at my half-open bath robe.

Damon was wearing dark sunglasses when they emerged from the arrival area with a middle aged woman carrying his baby. He was in a hurry as he shaded his companion with a big parasol.

"This is Signorina Adele, our landlady in Paris. She accompanied me and my daughter since I am not familiar with baby care," the middle aged woman smiled as Damon introduced her to me.

I was so excited to see Damon and his baby I simply just don't know what to do. My heart almost melted seeing his haggard look. I wanted to hug him but I looked at his baby instead. "Can I carry her?" Adele gladly handed her to me. The baby looked so beautiful with her dad's dark hair. She even smiled when I hugged her.

"Look, my baby liked you," Damon said smiling at me. "Let's go. We didn't bring any luggage except the baby's feeding bottles. I hope Cindy bought all the things my baby and Adele needed as I've instructed her to buy."

"Yes. We've brought all our purchases to your ancestral house in Sta. Rosa."

I led them to my car and Damon drove directly to their family mansion at Sta. Rosa where Bess was excitedly waiting for us. I still carried the baby and she gushed when she saw her niece. She wanted to take it from me but resisted. "I don't know how to carry a baby," she wailed. "She looked so fragile, I might hurt her."

Ram's enormous bed room was hastily prepared to temporarily room Adele and the baby. It was adjacent to Bess' room who had already self-designated herself as her niece's nanny. However, she can only hover over the baby when it cried, much to Adele's amusement.

"I wanted to show you my studio, come," after supper, Damon led me to a separate building in the middle of a formal garden across the mansion. All hairs in my body stood when he put his hand on my shoulder. I almost cringed. All animosities and hurt feelings I've harboured against him during the past weeks vanished. I slipped my hand on his side and he tightened his hand on my shoulder. He hugged me closer to him while we walked slowly. I was so elated I felt walking in a dream. How I wish we'd walked this way forever.

His paintings, some finished, some still unfinished were lined at one length of a wall. All his paints and empty canvass were at the wall angling his paintings. There was a jungle-like area with hammock and curved wooden garden set at the middle. It was well lighted and a plastic dome, probably movable, covered the area. I can see a bedroom on one side enclosed with sliding glass panels. He led me to the big bench curved out of a huge tree trunk and he sat pulling me to his lap.

"I like it here when I'm home and wanted to be alone. Nobody comes here when I'm around, " he said. He wrapped his strong muscled arms around me and cupped me to his warm body. I shuddered by his embrace, it sent shiver through my body. I trembled.

"Touch me," he whispered his warm breath fanning at my ear. "I wanted you so much I really missed you."

I bent my head closer to his face and held his hand covering mine and I huddled closer to his warm body. We remained silent for a long while.

"You've been so silent, aren't you happy we're together again?"

"No, Damon. I was so happy, I just don't know what to say and where to begin."

"Let me begin where we've left before," he gently pushed me on my back and laid above me. He pinned me and held my face with both hands. He gently swiped his tongue on my lips as his thumb caressed my jaws softly. I opened my mouth to him when one of his hand touched my breast and his fingers played with my nipple. I gasped when he tweaked it to hardness as his tongue entered my open mouth and touched my teeth. I moaned when his hand transferred to my other nipple. I raised my body feeling his arousal at my stomach. As I met his tongue with mine, his other hand touches my soft belly. I raised my butt in a silent plea for him to touch me more where he have not touched me before. As if sensing my plea, he grabbed my pube as our tongue clashed and we kissed deeply and passionately. "Christopher, I need you so badly." He removed my shirt and unzipped my pants as we kissed. I raised my butt as he pushed it down with my panty "I really missed you. Make love to me," he softly whispered.

He didn't have to ask again. With trembling hands, I unhooked his belt and unzipped his pants. As usual he was not wearing an under wear and his monstrous cock popped out hard slapping at his belly. As I pushed down his pants, he removed his shirt.

"I haven't bathe since we left Charles de Gaulle I am not prepared for this Chris," he enthused. I really did not care since I was so eager to have him now. I did not bother to reply, I slithered down his body and took a mouthful of his pube. A strong musky scent hit my nose, his manly pheromone coupled with his two day sweat. I sucked his hard stud tasting salty, sweet pre-cum. I gulped and clamped my mouth on his bulbous glans swirling my tongue at its hardness and slowly sank at its shaft. "Aw fuck, so sweet of you Chris. I really needed your loving mouth," he gasped.

I was happy and inspired to have him, I started slowly bobbing up and down his cock closing my hand at its root to keep his length from pushing through my throat.

He groaned moving his butt and hips up and down in sync with my blow job."Ahhh fuck! I'm about to come, Chris." I swirled my tongue at his corona and sank down his shaft, sucking firmly as my hand rotated at his root. I massaged his balls with my other hand gently, tugging at its loose hairy skin. His balls clenched and his stud pulsed as he gasped. "My God, Chris, I'm coming. Suck me harder," he groaned. "Please, suck me deep and hard now," with clenched teeth he whispered. "I'm gonna come."

His hairy legs hugged my head tight as his toes curled. He pushed his ass up and clutching my locks pushed me deeper to his pulsing cock, "Mother fuck, take all of me, Chris," I swallowed his rod deeper as it thickened. His body jerked and spasmed as his first sweet load spilled in my throat. I took it and kept gulping as rope after rope of his thick load exploded deep in my throat. I kept swallowing trying not to spill a drop.

Still gripping my locks he exhaled more expletives. "Holy shit, I've come but I want more Chris. Fuck, please, don't stop." To satisfy him I continued bobbing up and down his shaft which hasn't softened despite his coming. I sucked and formed a tight seal around its glans, his juice still in my mouth. I looked at his face but his eyes were closed his teeth clenched as he breathed harshly. His nuts clenched and his stud swelled further. It did not took long, he ejaculated for the second time filling my mouth with his second orgasm. When he opened his eyes veiled with lust and desire he held me up and whispered, "Satisfy me some more. I wanted to catch up for our lost times. I wanted to fuck you."

I was overwhelmed by what he said. If I could have my way, I really wanted to have him all night. "Yes, fuck me. I wanted your monstrous nerve inside me." He again claimed my mouth passionately and when our tongue connected he must have tasted his cum and pushed my face. He laughed softly and grunted. "I think I tasted my own seed. Lol. First time I did and it wasn't that bad tasting. I hope yours doesn't taste as bad too."

My cock pulsed. I was thrilled with the idea it won't be long that he would be sucking my stud.

He stood up still embracing me. "Let's go to my room. I bought something from New York we could use," he smiled mischievously. "When we came home after the show, I've wanted to bring you here where we could celebrate alone but invitations piled and one thing after another came till I went to Paris to get my baby."

The room was painted grey and very Spartan. It has a king-sized white bed, a mural painting of Damon's head that seems to look down at the bed, and a night table. "Actually I have my bedroom at the house and I seldom use this one," he said and took me in his arms. We were still naked and his hard bone poked at my navel. He kissed me with his mouth still open his tongue tasting my lips. He kept licking my lips and I licked his tongue in response. I caught it and sucked it aggressively inside my mouth. We kissed hot and long as his hands swept my back and clutched my butts clamping my body to his rod. My hand eagerly responded exploring his muscled furry body. I raked the hairs of his chest and played with his nipples till it turned pebble hard. Unable to contain my feverish lust, I held his steel-hard cock and jacked it slowly. When our lips parted he held my hand and pushed me gently on the bed. He looked intently at me shaking his head. "Nah, please no jacking. I wanted to fuck you, Chris."

He finally opened the drawer of the night table and withdrew a pack. He smiled, his eyes gleaming with emotions I can't fathomed. "I bought this lube and condoms just for us," he said smiling.

He handed me the lube and condom with a smirk. "I wanted to enter you without condom like before but let's start it right this time. Put this on me," he whispered seductively.

I held his steel-hard cock and inserted the condom. I took the lube from him and poured some on my palm and reached for his stud. I lubed it slowly rotating my palm on its head lubricating down his shaft. I was completely turned on I felt pre-cum oozing from my slit. He took my hand and stood me up. He kissed me fiercely and when our lips parted, he gently pushed me in my back. I felt the cold lube being swiped at my rim and holding my butt, he positioned me at the side of his bed. He placed one of my leg at his shoulder parting the left to the right and posed his cock at my hole.

I thought he will not prepare me for his entry but he used his monstrous stud in rimming my hole. I closed my eyes as its slimy warm head teased me. He touched and withdrew his member from my entrance. My head was swimming with so much emotion as I anticipated the entry of his rock-hard dick. I breathed deeply when he posed it again at my hole but he raised his butt again. I held both of his ass' bubbly cheeks and tried to pull him for an entry. "Oh Damon, I can't take it anymore. Please fuck me now" I desperately moaned shuddering in anticipation for his entry.

He again slightly pressed his swollen member at my entrance. I held his shaft and guided it. I gasped when its mushroom head finally entered my sphincter. There was the usual stab of pain. I groaned and he stopped. "No, please, please don't stopped," I pleaded meeting his eyes.

Spasm hit me and my gun pulsed and pre-cum oozed from its slit when I felt his cock finally slipped inside my quivering hole. As he slowly penetrated my canal I did not feel the usual pain but a delirious sensation. It was glorious, I almost cried in happiness. I opened my eyes and met his penetrating eyes discerning me.