Robert tried to avoid being in the same room as Sean and me for the rest of the day on Saturday. I'm not sure if it was because of what he walked in on or the fact I asked him why Lori had been at the house so early that morning, which he conveniently neglected to answer. After clearing it with our boyfriends and Jacob, Josh and I decided to let him have the house to himself and we all spent the night at Sean and Kevin's. We spent the whole evening hanging out, just the four of us. It was nice and we all learned more about each other. We ended up blowing up a couple of air mattresses and setting them up in the game room, where we eventually fell asleep.
On Sunday, after Jacob told us he was going to Aaron's for the day and wouldn't be back until late that evening, we decided to hang out with the whole group and threw an impromptu party at Sean's. We invited Pauly and he and Hunter ended up coming over. Pauly was no longer Rogers. Gone was the overly-cocky-douchebag-fuckhead who tried to make our lives hell. In his place was a nice guy who was trying to right some of the wrongs he had done in the past. He apologized to everyone multiple times. Finally, he accepted the fact we honestly forgave him and stopped apologizing.
At one point, Hunter pulled me aside and asked to speak to Sean and me privately. He seemed concerned about something, so I got Sean and we went in the house. Once the three of us were in Sean's room, Hunter turned to us and asked, "Can y'all do me a favor?"
I answered, "Probably, depends on what you want."
He sighed and started, "I'm kinda worried Smith is going to try and get into Pauly's head. I don't know how, but he seems to know exactly what to say to get to Pauly. I know he's tried to message, but as far as I know, Pauly didn't respond. Just, keep an eye on him, please. Granma would be hella-pissed if he lets Smith manipulate him again and would tan his hide."
I couldn't stop the chuckle I let out when I got the mental image of a truly pissed off Doris Rogers taking her anger out on Pauly. Hunter smiled at me and said, "You're imagining Granma kicking Pauly's ass, aren't you?"
"I think I would pay money to see that," I replied with a chuckle.
Sean shook his head but otherwise ignored our commentary and said, "I think we can agree to keep an eye on him if you'll promise something in return."
"What do you want me to promise?" Hunter asked apprehensively.
"Talk to your coach and try to get back on your team."
"What? I can't do that. I already quit. Besides, I don't deserve to play."
I rolled my eyes and replied, "That's fucking bullshit and you know it. Answer me this- do you enjoy playing football?"
Hunter nodded. "Of course. But that doesn't change the fact I targeted Sean with the intention of hurting him. I doubt my coach would even let me play again."
"But you won't know for sure unless you ask," I countered.
"Fine! I'll talk to him tomorrow and see what he says. Just, please keep Smith away from Pauly."
"We'll do our best," I promised.
Once we were finished talking, the three of us headed downstairs. As soon as we walked in the backyard, the cat calls, whistles, and innuendoes started. I shut them all down when I spoke the truth. "What's the matter? Y'all jealous y'all weren't invited? Give us about," I looked at Sean, questioningly, "ten to fifteen minutes, wouldn't you say? We'll be ready to go again."
They all tried to act as if they weren't interested, but I know they all wanted me. And, let's be honest, who wouldn't want Sean? The two of us together would probably be too much for them. They couldn't handle us.
Eventually, the party started winding down, and by the time Jacob got home at six, everyone was gone. Sean and I hung out in his room while Kevin and Josh hung out in the guest room downstairs (which was Kevin's room). When I went to tell Josh we needed to head home, they were sitting on opposite sides of Kevin's bed. He asked me for a few more minutes, so I went back upstairs to give Sean one more kiss. Josh was quiet on the way home. I could tell there was something on his mind but knew he probably wouldn't talk about it with me until he was ready. I know how surprising this may be, but I decided to be patient and wait for him to come to me.
We drove up to a mostly dark house, only the lights over the stove and the one above the kitchen sink were on. There was a note on the kitchen island from Robert letting us know he was out to dinner with Lori and wasn't sure when (or if) he would be home and not to wait up for him. I chuckled when I read the note, whereas Josh barely smiled.
Josh and I finished what little homework we had, ate a quick bite for a late dinner, then got ready for bed. About fifteen minutes after I laid down, there was a soft knock on my door. Josh opened the door and asked if I was still awake.
"Yeah, what's up?" I asked as he came in the room.
"I can't sleep. Too much going on up here." He pointed to his temple.
"What are you worried about? Talk to me bub."
"I don't know. I'm worried about Kevin and everything he's going through with his dad. I'm worried about Dad, hoping everything works out with Lori. He deserves someone who makes him happy. I'm worried about you."
"Me? Why me? I'm fine," I interrupted incredulously.
"Yes, you. Between what happened over the summer and everything going on with Sean, add in the fact you're going to be applying for schools soon, it's got to be a lot to deal with.
"And speaking of the summer, I'm starting to feel guilty about something. I'm sad Mimi and Poppa are gone, but I'm happier you're here with us. Does that mean I'm happy they're gone? If they hadn't have died, then you wouldn't have ever moved down here, you wouldn't have ever met Sean, he probably wouldn't have come out, which means Kevin wouldn't have come out either, so I wouldn't be with him now. I have way too much to be happy about and it's all because they died."
I put my arm around him and pulled him into a side hug. "I promise you, bub, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. As far as this summer goes; yes, I'm sad about it, but if it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have met Sean. I can't be upset about that. I will admit I'm a little concerned about applying for schools, but I'm almost sure I can get into the schools I plan on applying to. Robert and Lori are still pretty new, but I think they'll be fine. And Kevin's strong. He'll be fine. He has his uncle, you, Sean, Jacob, Robert, Mr. Landrum and me supporting him in anything he needs. The only thing you need to worry about is you. Now, is that everything?"
He hesitated before he shook his head. I had a feeling I knew what was coming and I know why he was stalling before he said anything. He has it in his head I don't want to talk about all the shit Mel's put him through. Just because she is one of my least favorite people on Earth doesn't mean I won't listen to Josh vent about her. She's his mom. I totally understand if a small part of him still feels for her.
Finally, after a few moments of silence, he sniffled and quietly asked, "Why doesn't my mom want anything to do with me? What did I do wrong?"
My arm was still draped over his shoulders, so I pulled him tighter against me. "I want you to listen to me and hear what I'm saying to you. Mel's actions have absolutely nothing to do with you or anything you might have done. The way she's acting is totally on her. She's the one with the issues, not you. I'm sorry you have to go through this. And trust me, I know it's easy to tell yourself something's true, but hard as hell to accept it in your heart. It will take time, but eventually you'll accept the truth that her leaving and not wanting to see you had nothing to do with you and everything to do with her."
He sniffled a few times, then said in a soft voice, "Thanks Teej, I know what you're saying is true, but I can't help but feel like this sometimes. Umm, do you mind if I sleep in here with you tonight? It's been awhile since we've shared a bed. I just don't want to be by myself tonight."
"Of course, you can stay in here with me. I love you, bub, and I'll always be here for you. Now, let's get some sleep. We have school in the morning and Robert will probably still have to come by and get ready for work."